OHPW: Old Hell Pro Wrestling - Business May Die

Week 63: Death to Capitalism II
As we prepare for AT DOOM'S GATE 64 Suman attempts to rid himself of the Jabroni Royle once more and his chances seem better than ever. We see Hank Muscles in his first Main Roster singles match against Weeb Weaver. Grace is facing one last challenge before her match with her friend, Harmony Gray. Palpy got to "antagonize" EGO last week and is now leading the oRa 66 against Criminal Sanity. And in our Main event Kayu Zakisaka attempts to defend the Seven Deadly Pins title. And capitalism will literally die! Well, last time we promised that a No Talent Punk got beaten up by a Malfest Goat-Monster so that was disappointing. Fingers crossed for this time.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Suman ("c") vs. Plumeria

#2 Singles Match
Hank Muscles vs. Weeb Weaver

#3 Tag Team Match
Real Beer Float vs. Pineapple Pizza

#4 Singles Match
Grace Thoruson vs. Canada Alderman

#5 Chaos Tag Team Match
oRa 66 vs. Criminal Sanity

#6 VACANT Bunny Challenge :3
TBD vs. VACANT (c)

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
King Skeleton vs. Lemuel Post vs. Anna May vs. Haz Matt vs. Spitbal vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Kayu Zaisaka (c)

Week 64: AT DOOM'S GATE 64



Here's the new OP for OHPW.

PPV-time! We got a good deal of stuff going on. We'll have a debutant in Danny V5. There's the weird thing where Palpy insisted to challenge The Union in a fit of, whatever. Speaking of Whatever. Dashosphere is still aiming for a match against Vacation Skeleton by fighting Fomore first. In the main event the long awaited match between Grace and Harmony takes place.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria ("c") vs. Weeb Weaver

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Danny V5 vs. Great Maharaja vs. Inspector Jane vs. Maya Northwind vs. Freddie Hope vs. Koji Kojinaka vs. Hayley Simmons vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)

#3 Singles Match
Austin Ramon vs. EGO

#4 Handicap Match
Goatcorp. (Palpatine, Cocademon & Goat-Monster) vs. The Union (Angus, Mina, Josef & Punk)

#5 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Mr. Shakedown

#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Dashosphere

#7 Legion Tag Team Championship
Pineapple Pizza vs. Team Skull

#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Hellranger Flamander vs. Boob Marley

#9 VACANT Bunny Challenge :3
Black vs. VACANT

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Grace Thoruson vs. Harmony Gray

That is a mesmerizing gif.

Week 65: Way of the Warrior - (Twitch VOD)

Week 66: Six - (Twitch VOD)

Week 67: Draft - (Twitch VOD)

Week 68: skeleton wars 2 - (Twitch VOD)







The Story of the Bunny Championships :3 so far

The original Bunny Title :3 from LPFWA


OHPW's Bunny Title >:3

The first Bunny Title was supposed to be a punishment by the Cosmic Bunnies for a slight offense against Bunnikind on part of Lotus Aura, funnily, because Lotus wanted t oget rid of the Pokeymanz Title because it gave him bad vibes. This is something that everyone who holds this title experiences eventually. The Bunny Title :3, however, turned out fine. The Bunnies soon forgot that it was supposed to make Lotus Fight and it became a fixture of LPFWA by being defended on every show as a kind of title for fighting champions. When Majestic Goat-Man and Link fought for the title in the Season 3 Finale Link, unintentionally or not, threw Goat-Man into the ropes with his throat first, breaking his neck in the process. Goat-Man finished and won that match.

The Cosmic Bunnies were impressed with Goat-Man's performance and him winning not using any dirty tactics despite an injury sustained in the bout. So they blessed him with a new Bunny Title and if he only promised to officiate the matches of this new Bunny Title in a place outside of LPFWA they would repair his neck. He made the promise, his neck was healed. So he went to a fledging promotion that exists just outside of time to keep his promise. So we got quite a handful of fighters who earned and defended this new Bunny Title, intended as a blessing.

1st Champion: VACANT - 0 SDs - 0 Days
2nd Champion: Canada Alderman - 1 SD - 14 Days
3rd Champion: Mr. Shakedown - 4 SDs - 35 Days
4th Champion: Anna May - 1 SD - 21 Days
5th Champion: Maya Northwind - 0 SDs - 7 Days
6th Champion: Kayu Zakisaka - 0 SDs - 7 Days
7th Champion: Muscle Wizard - 1 SD - 14 Days
8th Champion: Manic Misanthrope - 2 SDs - 21 Days
9th Champion: Black - 2 SDs - 21 Days
10th Champion: Fomore - 1 SD - 14 Days
11th Champion: Guzma - 0 SDs - 7 Days
12th Champion: Roy - 4 SDs - 35 Days
13th Champion: Mr. Shakedown - 3 SDs - 28 Days
14th Champion: Hellranger Flamander - 3 SDs - 28 Days
15th Champion: Roy - 0 SDs - 7 Days
16th Champion: Palpatine - 6 SDs - 49 Days
17th Champion: Black - 7 SDs - 63 Days
18th Champion: Suzan Blades - 3 SDs - 28 Days
19th Champion: Nero Sin - 0 SDs - 7 Days (vacated title due to retirement)
20th Champion: VACANT - 7 SDs - 49 Days
21st Champion: Black - 4 SDs - 28 Days

An impressive lineage. But as it turns out, when the Cosmic Bunnies created this second Bunny Title :3 they accidentally created a Bunny Title >:3 because one of the bunnies slept poorly and was a bit grumpy. It was an accident, but one with consequences. So after That final Bunny Title defense Black had a gainst Mr. Shakedown... the Bunny Title >:3 transformed into the Pokeymanz Title that, ironically, was the reason the original Bunny Title :3 was created in the first place. Because a lot of the Pokeymanz Title's history is more or less lost to time and only still available in my brain I'll go over it real quick.

2013: The Pokeymanz is found in a trash can in the LPFWA arena by Referee Joe (before he became widely kown as that). No one knows how it got there. But at first they didn't give it a name. The ref feels somehow obligated to make sure this title gets a champion and that that title gets defended. He finds two wrestlers backstage, one of which is Black, and makes them fight. Black emerges victorious and holds that title. For a while. Due to the fact that the title has to be defended against basically any challenger at any time people are calling this title the Pokeymanz Title. However, officially, at this point it's known as Black's Title due to black being the first and so far only champion. But Black gets some bad vibes from the Title. He choses to lose it on purpose by insisting on being booked in a gauntlet match. And fails to lose. Only in a second Gauntlet Match is he able to get rid of the title. And from here all kinds of different wrestlers held it. Somewhere down the road the title gets discarded by someone.

2024-2025: The Pokeymanz is found in a trash can in the LPFWA arena and a couple wrestlers fight over it Backstage. Dr. Rath wins it and defends it for a bit. It goes back and forth between quite a few wrestlers here, for a long time.

2027-2028: This is where Lotus commited a crime against Bunnikind by forcing Rara who's very much in tune with her inner Bunny to pin him while she sleeps in an effort to get rid of the Pokeymanz Title that he held at the time. At this point the Title is still officially called Black's Title, by the way, despite not being around for a long time. So it's officially renamed to Pokeymanz Title. It's around now that Konami Kouda discovers that the Pokeymanz Title is evil somehow. If she and her later ally Inspector Jane weren't so bad about articulating themselves and didn't come across as crazy people maybe someone would have believed them. Anyway, we don't know what exactly happens if the Pokeymanz Title evolves again... yet.