OHPW: Old Hell Pro Wrestling - Business May Die
Aug 1, 2019 0:08:04 GMT
amsterDAN, OrochiGeese, and 3 more like this
Post by IGgy IGsen on Aug 1, 2019 0:08:04 GMT
Match Cards are usually announced on Wednesdays, check the most recent posts for exact info.
In the meantime Watch our Best Bouts here or go here for the ones that aren't separate videos yet.
And don't worry about missing episodes. This is wrestling. You can't watch it all! Just hop in whenever.
[ OHPW Arena ] - [ LPFWA Network ] - [ Sign-Up Form ] - [ Discord ] - [ Prologue ]
"Devil Mark" Logo by PublicOpinion
What is OHPW?
OHPW is my wrestling E-Fed and it's set in Hell and it's ran by Satan. But not so fast. You might be thinking of the christian sin and punishment place called Hell, but this is different. When the universe ended general cool dude Satan created his own bubble of existence called Hell. It exists outside of conventional time and thus all manners of things from all kinds of eras may show up. In Hell everything's cool and there's pro wrestling. Any resemblance to mythology, history or real or fictional people is strictly coincidental. Why would you think otherwise? You might be able to tell that while OHPW isn't strictly a comedy promotion it doesn't take itself too seriously most of the time.
Okay, how can I watch it?
- The show is streamed live every Saturday on twitch.tv/IGgy_IGsen
- You can find the event page and exact time as well as the match card for every show here. The Card is usually announced on wednesdays.
- Here's a Youtube Playlist. All the vids have the match card and timestamps in the description
- If you prefer Twitch then you can find a Twitch Collection of all shows here. No timestamps but you get a live chat replay if that's your cup of tea.
What's the Roster look like
You'll find all kinds of characters here. The only thing you won't find is real wrestlers. Well, sometimes they show up, but when they do it's a show. Like when Alberto El Patron showed up to the NO-SHOW PPV... only he didn't show... It's complicated. And Eddie Guerrero is there. But he's called Undeddie Guerrero and is a zombie. These characters were submitted by viewers and mostly made by myself based on their requests. Others were made by volunteers. But some created their wrestlers themselves. Submissions are still open, though, I currently don't accept edits with movesets or logic anymore due to me doing logic my own particular way and wanting to control the win opportunities a wrestler can get. Which includes the moveset due to submissions and moves that transition into pins naturally. If I get an edit with logic and movesets I very likely WILL change them.
Though I strictly prefer original creations I allow people to have pretty much everything be a part of the show. We got video game characters, movie characters, OCs and all kinds of stuff. You can find a few of them further below.
A few members of our roster:
IGgy IGsen
Due to his experience in the business he was brough on by SATAN to help kickstart OHPW as the main booker. Though IGgy initially joined in his ca. 2024 human form his fear of spoilers due to a lot of future verions of talent from his old fed joining he soon abdicated to his future self, who is a skeleton. Though mainly hodling a backstage role he occasionally joins the fray in the ring to somehow win, as though he books himself to do so.
SATAN
He's pretty cool. And always chill. Very forthcoming to all talent, even the bad guys. He's recently taken to playing MMOs. He's strictly a referee in OHPW to pass judgement over who wins in the big matches.
VACANT
A veritable legend of the business. They were the inaugural champion for every title that ever existed. Though, they were never invited to actually defend any of these titles. VACANT, sick with being so decorated and yet so disrespected decided to prove to the world what being the best of all time is all about by issuing the VACANT Open Challenge. Once a week someone gets to challenge VACANT. So far they are 21-1. And regarding the one blemish on their record we don't know if that's been a fluke yet. The one in 21-1 is a fighter called Hobo One Kevodki and surely they'll square off again in the future. VACANT believes you haven't truly defeated someone until you beat them in a best of 7.
Vacation Skeleton
They are just here on vacation. They never even did their proper finisher BONESAW IS READY and instead usually end matches with SPRING BREAK! WOOO! Legend has it that if VS ever whips out BONESAW IS READY it's an instant win. But since they are only here on Vacation they usually can't be bothered to do the real hard hitting stuff. He's most famous for inventing Going on Vacation. Not the whole travel and relaxation thing, but the move where people run into the turnbuckle to fall over. And yeah, I know how to avoid that, I just invoke it intentionally.
Black
Classic babyface. A bit brutal, though. Doesn't talk so he can't say anything controversial. In that regard the perfect face of the company. In the past he was so dominant that he had to actively try to lose but the game (WWE 1'3 at the time) softlocked. So he had to try again. Essentially he needed two tries to lose.
DivineCoffeeBinge
A long time part of IGgy's feds she is very wholesome and likes coffee. The most popular storyline she was ever involved in was a losing streak that spanned years. Somehow that made her more relatable and people started cheering for her. Maybe beinga loser is relatable? She's the only member of the Roster with her own crowd chant. She is also a Coffee Elemental and part of The Fun Gang together with Vacation Skeleton and Nawt A Robutt
Hellranger Flamander
Previously known as Star Pilot Flamander somewhere down the line a darker side awakened in him and he assumed the moniker of Hellranger. More violent than before. In it more for the inflicting suffering part than the competition. But most importantly he denies the admiring audience the W.O.R.M. his old finisher. Done are the days of pleasing the crowd. Instead he shocks them with The Snake, a spear tackle often preceded by the Poison Flamarana in contrast to the regular Flamarana followed by The Worm he used before he turned.
Freddie Hope
A person who breathes wrestling. Been in the business since he was very young and a veteran even compared to his seniors. He's not even that old, though, I got no idea how old he is. It's interesting that until around 2023 he was mostly considered a hot act in more underground promotions. What put him on the map was his legendary series of matches with, then Star Pilot, Flamander. They started as rivals, became friends and tag partners and now Freddie is disgusted with Flamander's turn. Although both are reluctant, it's only a matter of time until they face off in the ring.
Angus McMutton
A scottish brawler who is usually drunk. He seems to be unaware that he's reinforcing stereotypes. But it doesn't matter, really. He just hits all his problems with a headbutt he calls the Tru Bru. He is part of the oRa 66 together with its leader, Palpatine and Mina "Firestar" Park
Fomore
A tragically deluded person who thinks they are an office drone in hell's... office? They are actually just someone who bought into Eden's propaganda of Hell as a horrible place and they just can't accept how cool actual hell is. Fomore keeps trying to earn SATAN's respect and to become his assistant. However, little does Fomore know, SATAN already respects Fomore as a wrestler... and as a friend.
Suzan Blades
Labeling herself as a Dark Knight we are all pretty sure that's just the name of her biker gang. Though, who knows if there's more to it? She's an imposing figure and in the inaugural Hellweight tournament she defeated the strongest OHPW has to offer t obecome the first OHPW Infernal Hellweight Champion. We don't really know much about her but her workout regimen consists of her beating up Nazis and TERFs.
Pantha
A self proclaimed hero of Justice. She is very obsessed with not being evil. She's probably a good person but her insistence on not being evil makes her suspicious. She likes to ham it up when she speaks about justice and vanquishing evil. Pantha was the one to finally end Suzan Blade's reign with the Hellweight Title
N-T Punk
Contrary to what you might think at first this is not a reference to CM Punk. N-T stands for No Talent. But he's got his heart in the right place and we all think that there's a slight chance that he'll probably deliver when it matters the most. Maybe. His claim to fame is cutting a heartfelt promo on capitalism then the closest thing to an embodiment of capitalism in OHPW, The Malfest Goat-Monster, showed up beat him senseless and was only stopped when he tried to send Punk to ca. 2019 USA to force him into a place with shitty healthcare, essentially proving his promo to be justified. But that was too cruel a fate to just let happen so OHPW medical personell prevented that from happening.
Undeddie Guerrero
Eddie Guerrero but a Zombie.
Dash Rendar, Fat Dash and The El Chad
It's Dash Rendar from the Star Wars extended canon. Or rather. Three versions of him from different points in his life and probably also from different timelines. Together they form a tag team of three Dash Rendars called The Dash Rendars.
There's more, of course, but these are the ones I felt to talk about for now.
No wrestling promotion is complete without titles to fight over. So naturally we will have a few of those.
If you want to see who held each title and who's the current champion visitthe huge-ass spreadsheet and select the Championship History tab.
The OHPW Infernal Hellweight Title
The main Championship of our league. It is only defended once a month and is the ultimate prize. Challengers are chosen more carefully. A match for the OHPW Infernal Hellweight Title will always headline the show it's on. While Satan also acts as referee in some other matches he insists on officiating all IHW Title matches personally.
The OHPW Underworld Darkweight Title
The secondary Title of OHPW still a badge of honor but it's no Infernal Hellweight Title. Defenses are more frequent and not as big of a deal. Maybe some day someone will elevate it.
The Bunny Championship :3
The Cosmic Bunnies have blessed/cursed OHPW as well :3
This title is defended at every single show and as such people who believe that the sheer number of defenses makes a title more prestigious believe this is the most prestigious title of all times. Fans of bunnies think the same and who can blame them? Regardless of that, the title has been fought over in some of the best matches ever.
The OHPW Legion Duo Titles
The tag-team titles of OHPW. Teams of two face off to earn these two straps. Depending on the number and size of teams a set of Legion Trios titles may be introduced at a later time.
Seven Deadly Pins Championship
This title is defended in 8-Person Battle Royals in which chaos reigns supreme and seven eliminations must occur before a winner can be announced. For regular shows this is a standard battle royal. For the bigger ones it's a timed entrance one in which the champ and one challenger start out before the ring fills up.
The Jabroni Royale
This is not a physical title but more of a dubious honor. The opening match of every show is a barbed wire deathmatch with a 15 minute explosion countdown. Whoever loses this match becomes the Jabroni Royale. The Jabroni has the "championship" disadvantage as when the match comes to a draw due to the ring exploding the Jabroni stays the Jabroni.
In the meantime Watch our Best Bouts here or go here for the ones that aren't separate videos yet.
And don't worry about missing episodes. This is wrestling. You can't watch it all! Just hop in whenever.
[ OHPW Arena ] - [ LPFWA Network ] - [ Sign-Up Form ] - [ Discord ] - [ Prologue ]
"Devil Mark" Logo by PublicOpinion
What is OHPW?
OHPW is my wrestling E-Fed and it's set in Hell and it's ran by Satan. But not so fast. You might be thinking of the christian sin and punishment place called Hell, but this is different. When the universe ended general cool dude Satan created his own bubble of existence called Hell. It exists outside of conventional time and thus all manners of things from all kinds of eras may show up. In Hell everything's cool and there's pro wrestling. Any resemblance to mythology, history or real or fictional people is strictly coincidental. Why would you think otherwise? You might be able to tell that while OHPW isn't strictly a comedy promotion it doesn't take itself too seriously most of the time.
Okay, how can I watch it?
- The show is streamed live every Saturday on twitch.tv/IGgy_IGsen
- You can find the event page and exact time as well as the match card for every show here. The Card is usually announced on wednesdays.
- Here's a Youtube Playlist. All the vids have the match card and timestamps in the description
- If you prefer Twitch then you can find a Twitch Collection of all shows here. No timestamps but you get a live chat replay if that's your cup of tea.
What's the Roster look like
You'll find all kinds of characters here. The only thing you won't find is real wrestlers. Well, sometimes they show up, but when they do it's a show. Like when Alberto El Patron showed up to the NO-SHOW PPV... only he didn't show... It's complicated. And Eddie Guerrero is there. But he's called Undeddie Guerrero and is a zombie. These characters were submitted by viewers and mostly made by myself based on their requests. Others were made by volunteers. But some created their wrestlers themselves. Submissions are still open, though, I currently don't accept edits with movesets or logic anymore due to me doing logic my own particular way and wanting to control the win opportunities a wrestler can get. Which includes the moveset due to submissions and moves that transition into pins naturally. If I get an edit with logic and movesets I very likely WILL change them.
Though I strictly prefer original creations I allow people to have pretty much everything be a part of the show. We got video game characters, movie characters, OCs and all kinds of stuff. You can find a few of them further below.
A few members of our roster:
IGgy IGsen
Due to his experience in the business he was brough on by SATAN to help kickstart OHPW as the main booker. Though IGgy initially joined in his ca. 2024 human form his fear of spoilers due to a lot of future verions of talent from his old fed joining he soon abdicated to his future self, who is a skeleton. Though mainly hodling a backstage role he occasionally joins the fray in the ring to somehow win, as though he books himself to do so.
SATAN
He's pretty cool. And always chill. Very forthcoming to all talent, even the bad guys. He's recently taken to playing MMOs. He's strictly a referee in OHPW to pass judgement over who wins in the big matches.
VACANT
A veritable legend of the business. They were the inaugural champion for every title that ever existed. Though, they were never invited to actually defend any of these titles. VACANT, sick with being so decorated and yet so disrespected decided to prove to the world what being the best of all time is all about by issuing the VACANT Open Challenge. Once a week someone gets to challenge VACANT. So far they are 21-1. And regarding the one blemish on their record we don't know if that's been a fluke yet. The one in 21-1 is a fighter called Hobo One Kevodki and surely they'll square off again in the future. VACANT believes you haven't truly defeated someone until you beat them in a best of 7.
Vacation Skeleton
They are just here on vacation. They never even did their proper finisher BONESAW IS READY and instead usually end matches with SPRING BREAK! WOOO! Legend has it that if VS ever whips out BONESAW IS READY it's an instant win. But since they are only here on Vacation they usually can't be bothered to do the real hard hitting stuff. He's most famous for inventing Going on Vacation. Not the whole travel and relaxation thing, but the move where people run into the turnbuckle to fall over. And yeah, I know how to avoid that, I just invoke it intentionally.
Black
Classic babyface. A bit brutal, though. Doesn't talk so he can't say anything controversial. In that regard the perfect face of the company. In the past he was so dominant that he had to actively try to lose but the game (WWE 1'3 at the time) softlocked. So he had to try again. Essentially he needed two tries to lose.
DivineCoffeeBinge
A long time part of IGgy's feds she is very wholesome and likes coffee. The most popular storyline she was ever involved in was a losing streak that spanned years. Somehow that made her more relatable and people started cheering for her. Maybe beinga loser is relatable? She's the only member of the Roster with her own crowd chant. She is also a Coffee Elemental and part of The Fun Gang together with Vacation Skeleton and Nawt A Robutt
Hellranger Flamander
Previously known as Star Pilot Flamander somewhere down the line a darker side awakened in him and he assumed the moniker of Hellranger. More violent than before. In it more for the inflicting suffering part than the competition. But most importantly he denies the admiring audience the W.O.R.M. his old finisher. Done are the days of pleasing the crowd. Instead he shocks them with The Snake, a spear tackle often preceded by the Poison Flamarana in contrast to the regular Flamarana followed by The Worm he used before he turned.
Freddie Hope
A person who breathes wrestling. Been in the business since he was very young and a veteran even compared to his seniors. He's not even that old, though, I got no idea how old he is. It's interesting that until around 2023 he was mostly considered a hot act in more underground promotions. What put him on the map was his legendary series of matches with, then Star Pilot, Flamander. They started as rivals, became friends and tag partners and now Freddie is disgusted with Flamander's turn. Although both are reluctant, it's only a matter of time until they face off in the ring.
Angus McMutton
A scottish brawler who is usually drunk. He seems to be unaware that he's reinforcing stereotypes. But it doesn't matter, really. He just hits all his problems with a headbutt he calls the Tru Bru. He is part of the oRa 66 together with its leader, Palpatine and Mina "Firestar" Park
Fomore
A tragically deluded person who thinks they are an office drone in hell's... office? They are actually just someone who bought into Eden's propaganda of Hell as a horrible place and they just can't accept how cool actual hell is. Fomore keeps trying to earn SATAN's respect and to become his assistant. However, little does Fomore know, SATAN already respects Fomore as a wrestler... and as a friend.
Suzan Blades
Labeling herself as a Dark Knight we are all pretty sure that's just the name of her biker gang. Though, who knows if there's more to it? She's an imposing figure and in the inaugural Hellweight tournament she defeated the strongest OHPW has to offer t obecome the first OHPW Infernal Hellweight Champion. We don't really know much about her but her workout regimen consists of her beating up Nazis and TERFs.
Pantha
A self proclaimed hero of Justice. She is very obsessed with not being evil. She's probably a good person but her insistence on not being evil makes her suspicious. She likes to ham it up when she speaks about justice and vanquishing evil. Pantha was the one to finally end Suzan Blade's reign with the Hellweight Title
N-T Punk
Contrary to what you might think at first this is not a reference to CM Punk. N-T stands for No Talent. But he's got his heart in the right place and we all think that there's a slight chance that he'll probably deliver when it matters the most. Maybe. His claim to fame is cutting a heartfelt promo on capitalism then the closest thing to an embodiment of capitalism in OHPW, The Malfest Goat-Monster, showed up beat him senseless and was only stopped when he tried to send Punk to ca. 2019 USA to force him into a place with shitty healthcare, essentially proving his promo to be justified. But that was too cruel a fate to just let happen so OHPW medical personell prevented that from happening.
Undeddie Guerrero
Eddie Guerrero but a Zombie.
Dash Rendar, Fat Dash and The El Chad
It's Dash Rendar from the Star Wars extended canon. Or rather. Three versions of him from different points in his life and probably also from different timelines. Together they form a tag team of three Dash Rendars called The Dash Rendars.
There's more, of course, but these are the ones I felt to talk about for now.
No wrestling promotion is complete without titles to fight over. So naturally we will have a few of those.
If you want to see who held each title and who's the current champion visitthe huge-ass spreadsheet and select the Championship History tab.
The OHPW Infernal Hellweight Title
The main Championship of our league. It is only defended once a month and is the ultimate prize. Challengers are chosen more carefully. A match for the OHPW Infernal Hellweight Title will always headline the show it's on. While Satan also acts as referee in some other matches he insists on officiating all IHW Title matches personally.
The OHPW Underworld Darkweight Title
The secondary Title of OHPW still a badge of honor but it's no Infernal Hellweight Title. Defenses are more frequent and not as big of a deal. Maybe some day someone will elevate it.
The Bunny Championship :3
The Cosmic Bunnies have blessed/cursed OHPW as well :3
This title is defended at every single show and as such people who believe that the sheer number of defenses makes a title more prestigious believe this is the most prestigious title of all times. Fans of bunnies think the same and who can blame them? Regardless of that, the title has been fought over in some of the best matches ever.
The OHPW Legion Duo Titles
The tag-team titles of OHPW. Teams of two face off to earn these two straps. Depending on the number and size of teams a set of Legion Trios titles may be introduced at a later time.
Seven Deadly Pins Championship
This title is defended in 8-Person Battle Royals in which chaos reigns supreme and seven eliminations must occur before a winner can be announced. For regular shows this is a standard battle royal. For the bigger ones it's a timed entrance one in which the champ and one challenger start out before the ring fills up.
The Jabroni Royale
This is not a physical title but more of a dubious honor. The opening match of every show is a barbed wire deathmatch with a 15 minute explosion countdown. Whoever loses this match becomes the Jabroni Royale. The Jabroni has the "championship" disadvantage as when the match comes to a draw due to the ring exploding the Jabroni stays the Jabroni.
