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Post by turrible666 on Mar 19, 2022 23:40:35 GMT
Hope y'all enjoy ECW pastiche, because you're gonna get some. Extreme Wrestling XTREME has a show, more than likely tomorrow around noonish, in the usual place. |
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Post by turrible666 on Mar 20, 2022 20:43:55 GMT
Less quick 'n dirty than usual, in case I don't feel like doing a full recap RESULTS~! DARK MATCH 1: Boston Aaron (FREE) defeated The Undertaken (FREE) - The ratings nerds declared this to be a perfect match, and I have no idea why. This was perfectly fine? 100%, 5 stars
DARK MATCH 2: The Candian Destroyer (Hoss Dojo) defeated El Moco (TSLL) - Impressive showing for a dude in his first match, who apparently doesn't just save his best efforts for matches against Canadians. El Moco got dragged into a wrestling match when he tends to ghoulishly stab more often than not, and he got put away quick. 87%, 3.5 stars
EWX DEATH-MARCH 2022!
1. Damage Control defeated Slopsley & Snooks - This was all set up to be a smearing of two jamokes, but recent Hoss Dojo graduate Lil' Snooks flew all over the place and Bolphunga Slopsley had a lot of fire, even if he was fully useless. The two giant, evil paramedics just took everything they had, though, and still had a lot left over. The building had a brief power outage (game crashed) before the nerds could fully calculate the rating, but it was 100% in my heart. 2. Jeff O'Halloran defeated Gunnar Van Heusen - This might have been the match of the night, with O'Halloran clearly suffering back and neck injuries on a pretty nasty fisherman suplex at one point, but toughing it out to finally hit that evil back-crackin' goddamn finisher of his. The crowd was not happy to see the blonde, smiley guy in the US flag getup. 94% 4 stars. 3. Trondheim Troy defeated Andy Darling - Short, disappointing match. Darling was hopelessly flippy, and Troy barely even stabbed him, and didn't commit any blasphemy whatsoever. 78% 2.5 stars. 4. Sexy Rex Donovan defeated Lil' Chucky Unity - One of those matches where it wasn't a squash, but the outcome was never in doubt. Sexy Rex just pretty much styled on the poor kid. 86% 3.5 stars. 5. Toxic Walt defeated Blaze Hydro - Fun back-and-forth match that finally ended with Walt hitting multiple Rattleheads for the three count. 91% 4 stars. 6. Tony Unity & Nasty dick Bacteria defeated Uncle Smelly & Hanover Stern - This was absolute goddamn mayhem, as it was announced at bell time that this was under tornado AND elimination rules. Smelly got taken out relatively quickly, which led to several minutes of Stern desperately trying to get shots in, while Tony and Nasty Dick just sort of systematically destroyed his body, mind, and soul, ending in him having to be carted off by Damage Control. - 81% 3 stars. 7. Damien Nova defeated Morbid Manuel - Fresh out of prison, Nova made a statement here, hitting multiple finisher-level moves, before ending it quickly with the Supernova Splash. Essentially a competitive squash match. Scary to think what he might have done if he hadn't lost the prime years of his career to Poor Choices. 75% 2.5 stars. 8. BARBED WIRE MATCH FOR THE NO POLICE INVOLVEMENT TITLE: The Korn Demon defeated Secret Pete - Apparently, Pete's secret perfect strategy was to just bleed a lot and then get pinned. This was over before it started, but there was enough bloodshed to please the mutants in the crowd. 81% 3 stars.
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Post by turrible666 on May 7, 2022 23:45:01 GMT
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Post by turrible666 on Jul 6, 2022 0:20:49 GMT
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Post by turrible666 on Jul 11, 2022 21:00:53 GMT
It's time for a very special episode of The Invisible Backstage Camera, as young Zippity Duda makes poor choices that deteriorate into a bunch of thinly-veiled references to a true crime podcast |
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 25, 2022 22:07:56 GMT
A busy weekend that could actually lead to wrestling happening, possibly, maybe!
And if you make it to the end somehow, you get actual announcements for actual wrestling shows. (shooting for next weekend for one or maybe even both, but we'll see)
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 5, 2022 1:20:05 GMT
That time-honored tradition of Fire Pro e-feddery: The absurdly long backstage drama blog post that will almost certainly never cause a wrestling match to happen! It's time for TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA!
Wherein Ace allegedly has a plan, the language gets super TV-MA for a minute, the Bechdel Test is failed miserably, romance may or may not be in the air, butt stuff finally gets discussed, and a masked member of the cast has their identity casually revealed, like it's not a big deal or anything.
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 8, 2022 18:00:12 GMT
Hello.
Fans are currently filling the grandstands, and dirk matches for the TSLL Super Lucha Espectacular will be starting in the next 10 minutes or so, over at www.twitch.tv/turrible666 |
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 8, 2022 20:41:55 GMT
QUICK 'N DIRTY RESULTS~! DARK MATCHES 1. Pepper Scoville & Ryan Grabowski DREW The Rolling Blackouts 2. El Zafiro DREW El Hijo Del Sabado Noche (I was gonna do more dark matches, but stupid time limit draws, ugh) SUPER LUCHA ESPECTACULAR! 1. BATTLE ROYAL: Neon Demon outlasted 30 other masked wrestlers for $10 grand and a future title shot 2. TRIPLE-DOUBLE CHALLENGE: El Wrangler defeated Rodimus Primo & Puno Dorado 3. LUCHA EXTREMA: Morbid Manuel (EWX) defeated El Moco by knockout, and he had very few functional brain cells left, so it's either really bad or no big loss
4. TRIPLE-DOUBLE CHALLENGE: El Profesional defeated Joaquin Salazar and El Hijo De Beatriz Negro by knocking out EHDBN and breaking Joaquin's goddamn leg, it was awful 5. Esu Takashima (MOSES) defeated El Choppo in a god dang 5-star classic, that woulda been 6 in the Spike Dome 6. The Grim Reapers (Warrior Pro) defeated Executive Solutions to retain the STRUGGLE tag titles. 7. TSLL REY DE REYES CHAMIONSHIP: El Wrangler defeated El Profesional, despite totally getting Critical!ed to become the NEWWWWWWWW (and first) CHAMPION
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 9, 2022 22:41:54 GMT
The card for STRUGGLE Fall forward #1 has been slightly revised, as the TSLL Preview match between Ultra Magnifico and El Sovietico isn't really a preview anymore has been pushed down the card. But our outside content remains out-of-the-ordinary, however, as we've added a Notoriety match to the card, seeing as how Napster Mask VI was in town for the TSLL show and Toshiyo Nakano is still refusing to go back home for some reason. Aside from that, we've got #1 contender matches for both of our active singles titles, plus a tag match with future title implications, maybe, possibly, plus Skip Legday taking on a dude who's almost as swole as he is. BIG, SWEATY MEN, SLAPPIN' MEAT!
Also, I actually may or may not go ahead and do this show in about an hour or so. (It's about 5:40 Central right now, for the record, so assume 6:30ish) I'll let you know here, so if nothing else gets posted, assume that real life interfered somehow, and it'll be next week. Unless I don't post anything else because I've died, then who knows when it'll be. Oh well, R.I.P.
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 9, 2022 23:25:15 GMT
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 10, 2022 1:29:24 GMT
Quick 'n Dirty Results for FALL FORWARD #1, a night of chaos DARK MATCHES 1. The Canadian Destroyer defeated Buster Samson 2. Reverend Freakout defeated Ugly, Stupid Bob 3. Nat Twenty defeated Brandi Shackleford 4. Atomic Dog defeated William Nilly THE CARD PROPER (and I screwed up the match order, oh well)
1. Froggy Terry d. Zippity Duda 2. Deadly Nightshade CRITICAL!ed Donita Zapata 3. El Sovietico d. Ultra Magnifico 4. Team Twizzy d. The 46 Defenders 5. Napster Mask VI d. Toshiyo Nakano 6. Tupac Machine d. Captain STRUGGLE and Uno Muerte to become the #1 contender for the cruiserweight title 7. "Darkside of PARTY TIGER" CRITICIAL!ed Taco Belle 8. Jezebel Grim d. Stormy Knight to become the #1 contender for the women's title 9. Ivan Grozny Jr. straight-up squashed skip Legday, seriously, it was fucked up
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 10, 2022 1:37:56 GMT
Also, as you can see, Shit Got Real this weekend |
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 13, 2022 2:05:14 GMT
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Post by turrible666 on Oct 15, 2022 19:56:54 GMT
A week later, here's a full rundown of STRUGGLE FALL FORWARD TOUR #1, featuring horrifying injuries, backstage drama, family drama, actual in-ring drama, and fairly massive changes to the women's division, most of which are bad.
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