LUXURIOUS PURPS '21: Trying To Jack Our Jacket Back

Salvador Sosa: Hola and greetings from the Rudo Army! That's right, I'm still alive, I'm still kicking, and I'm still itching to kick some ass! El Experto is a ruthless headcase. He thinks he is a bonafide legend! A legend! And he might even be right, but he's been wearing that mask so long that I think it cut off the blood to his brain! He doesn't think very well anymore! And we saw that even with all his little EX people all around the ring, it wasn't enough!

Salvador: But that was Experto. Now I'm here. Bradley Banks, you are very strong, very good, and you beat a lot of tough people. But now it is the turn of Salvador Sosa to step up and answer the challenge! And I intend to walk away with that purple jacket that you claim! Too long, I have waited on the sidelines, in the hospital, in the rehab and recovery and getting myself back into shape, into contention, into the arena, but now, there is a prize in my eyes, and I will reach up and take it! Be ready, Bradley, I am here, and I am ready to roll!

Bradley Banks defeats Salvador Sosa by K.O.
20:02
67% (BULLSHIT! That was an awesome match!)

Holy smokes. Salvador Sosa seemed to have things fairly firmly in hand for a while there, but Bradley battled back and might have ended it after hitting Sosa with the dreaded Stanford Slam, but El Hijo de Macchiato came to his friend's rescue by distracting the referee. However, Bradley Banks is one of the world's foremost experts in taking advantage of distracted referees, and he quickly retrieved a chair from under the ring. It only took one jab of that steel chair into Salvador's sternum and the Dominican crumpled to the mat like a sack of potatoes. If the referee had kept his eye on the match that may have been ruled a win for Sosa by DQ, but as far as the record books are concerned it's a knockout victory by the incumbent Bradley Banks because the ref didn't see a damned thing. Will anyone ever be able to extract this oily, overly-tanned jerk from the jacket?

It's a handicap tag elimination match, so Bradley will have to beat both girls to win and hold on to his jacket. If neither woman has been eliminated and Bradley gets beaten, they share ownership of the jacket for the evening and fight for it on the next episode. If one woman is eliminated and the other lady goes on to win it, the one who beat Bradley in the end gets sole ownership of the jacket. Got it?

Megastar & Bison Hanegawa defeat Bradley Banks via KO by Bison on the outside with the barbed wire bat
12:17
70%


Bradley and his cohorts Beef McHugeBulk and Euphrosine Beauchamont got to cheatin' good and early and it seemed he was hardly handicapped at all by the match format, but when Bison went poking around underneath the ring and came up with a barbed wire baseball bat, it wasn't long before Bradley met a rather grim demise indeed. He tried his damnedest to hide behind his fiancee Euphrosine but Bison charged right around her and hit the High Crit Jackpot (tm). (Bison also had a perfectly-timed laugh at the proceedings at around 3:30.)

Because the stipulations of this match clearly stated that if both women were still in it at the time that Bradley bit the big one they would just have to share the jacket between themselves for the evening and fight for it later, CHALLENGES REMAIN CLOSED. We already have our next match.