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Post by LankyLefty17 on Mar 27, 2019 21:59:58 GMT
Byron "Prime Time" Worthy Byron Worthy enters the penthouse and as he looks around, starts to warm up and stretch. A big smile spreads across his face... "A purple jacket you say? OOooooo shit, sign me up. Its bout time the world knew what Prime Time was all about. Prime Time is my time. My time is your time for getting dropped on your goddamn head. Aint nobody stronger than me, nobody faster than me, and for sure, nobody that would look better in that sweet ass jacket than me. Hope your health insurance is good Banks. Cause this match is gonna go head drop, then head drop, then head drop. |
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 27, 2019 22:19:30 GMT
The ball's really rolling now! A young student from Warrior Pro - who recently made a name for himself by shocking the world with a stunning upset victory over Rampage Hunter - has decided he wants to take a crack at the jacket. He certainly sounds pretty confident in himself. Well sir, to you I say: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.Until then, as per usual, challenges are temporarily... |
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 28, 2019 0:16:13 GMT
SUDDEN, SUBTLE CHANGE TO THE RULES Good thing I stated clearly in the rules that I reserve the right to change said rules whenever the hell I want! After running some matches, something occurred to me. Initially I wanted to leave countouts ON for there to be that one additional way for a match to potentially end, but there's a problem: our main venue is The Penthouse a.k.a. the Dojo which has no ring announcer. Therefore we can not hear the count when someone is outside the ring. I, being a bullheaded bastard, bitterly refuse to turn the UI graphics (i.e. the ref's count, Critical!, and match clock) back on because I find it breaks the immersion. If you can't hear nor see how close to twenty a countout is getting, there is absolutely no tension to it. So leaving countouts on doesn't really add anything, just the potential for an abrupt and confusing end to matches. For this reason, I hereby declare that from now on: NO MORE COUNTOUTS. WRESTLE AROUND ON THE OUTSIDE AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE, DADDY-O. Thanks for your understanding, and sorry for the sudden switcheroo. To make it up to you, here's some music about our favorite color for your listening pleasure: |
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Post by Zealot on Mar 28, 2019 0:36:48 GMT
Does this mean that we're going to hear about champions getting disrobed from now on?
Is Ric Flair listening to this?
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Post by Wonderland on Mar 28, 2019 2:20:29 GMT
I think I love you.
Scratch that, I'm deeply in love with you, will you marry me and sire my children or vice versa
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Ripley
Steel Johnson
Posts: 198
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Post by Ripley on Mar 28, 2019 3:33:40 GMT
BEEF McHUGEBULK vs BRADLEY BANKS POST-MATCH*After several irritating minutes of obnoxious muscle-flexing - his typical post-match celebration - Bradley Banks pauses to glance down at Beef McHugeBulk, who is still lying flat on his back on the mat, staring up at the ceiling with an expression of mild disappointment. Bradley kneels down and offers him a hand. Beef initially eyes it with suspicion but eventually accepts, and Bradley helps him to his feet.*
*Now both standing, the two look each other over for several tense moments, eyeing one another warily. Bradley finally breaks the silence.*
BB: My god you’re gorgeous.
BEEF: I was about to say the exact same thing.
*They both smile and exchange an elaborate bro-handshake. Afterwards, they take turns striking bodybuilder poses while the other stands back and looks on admiringly. This goes on for several sickening minutes.*
BB: Yo bro, I was gonna go slam a protein shake or two, then hit up this sweet tanning salon downtown. Care to join me?
BEEF: That’s pretty much what I already had planned for the evening. Let’s go, my bro.
*They do that complicated handshake one more time, then climb out of the ring and leave together, chatting and chuckling jovially. They completely forget about Bradley’s fiancee Euphrosine, who they simply leave standing at ringside with an expression of major annoyance on her face.*
THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON TEXTS BEING SENT BETWEEN BROHAM AND BEEF MCHUGEBULK. THE ONLY SOUND THE AUDIENCE CAN HEAR IS THAT OF CLICKING KEYPADS AND TEXTS BEING SENT, ALONG WITH THE OCCASIONAL 'CHIRP' OF TEXTS BEING RECEIVED.
BEEF: hey listen bro it's been good but ive found someone else
BROHAM: lolwut?
BEEF: i just think we might need some time apart lol
BEEF: it's not u it's me
BEEF: ok it's not me it's u bro, u just don't get me like bobby does
BROHAM: who is bobby, bro?
BEEF: he's my new tag partner, like in life, bro he's just the most gorgeous man i've ever laid my eyes on, aside from myself
BEEF: he's so swole
BROHAM: i mean i can get more swole, beef
BROHAM: i can get so swole bro
BEEF: u'll never be as swole as we are broham i'm sorry it's just we're so jacked and so oily and so sexy it's on a whole other level bro
BEEF: i just like feel like ur holding me back u know i know it's not fair but i just have to do what's right for me and bobby is what's right
BROHAM: BRO
BEEF: he's just so vascular, bro
BROHAM: lolwtf :(
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Post by LankyLefty17 on Mar 28, 2019 4:15:39 GMT
All I want now is a 3 part docu-series following around Beef and Bradley...
EDIT: I want it to be a reality show. The Beef and Brad Show...
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 28, 2019 18:21:40 GMT
QUICK RESULTBradley Banks defeats Byron Worthy with a little help from his friends
19:19
73%
Bradley Banks finished Byron off with his signature Stanford Slam after Euphrosine slapped the living shit out of him while the referee was knocked out.
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 28, 2019 18:27:24 GMT
Episode #3 is up, and you know what that means. Challenges are now... A DESPERATE PLEA FROM THE SHOWRUNNERCALLING ALL HOSSES, ACES, BABYFACES AND BADASSES! WE'RE HAVING A HELL OF A TIME EXTRACTING BRAD BANKS FROM THIS GODDAMN JACKET OVER HERE! WHO AMONG YE SHALL BE OUR HERO? FIND AN EDIT WORTHY OF THE DREADED THREADS AND LET A ROLEPLAY RIP! |
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Post by faulknasty on Mar 28, 2019 18:35:23 GMT
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 28, 2019 18:48:35 GMT
Well that was quick! THE MALLARD HAS LANDED. I know you're pretty new around these parts and we're extremely glad to have you on the show because this is what LPJ is all about! You're in, daddy-o! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.And just like that, challenges are once again... |
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 28, 2019 20:01:44 GMT
QUICK RESULTBradley Banks defeats The Mallard
14:53
78%
The Mallard looked to be rallying back from the brink of defeat but went for one huracanrana too many and got splattered across the mat by Bradley with the ranabomb.
As always, with that last episode added to the archive, challenges are now...
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Post by Zealot on Mar 28, 2019 20:12:24 GMT
The sounds of sewage running through a drain pipe open up the scene. Sewer Dragon can be seen picking up a flyer covered in excrement promoting the Luxurious Purple Jacket as well as it’s addendum of no countoutsSewer Dragon: Well now. That’s a huge fucking mistake on this company’s part. Using such a high-strung garment as that to promote violence? Sewer Dragon hocks a loogey on the flyer and discards it.Even I know trash when I see it. It’s as they say. You can tie a ribbon around a turd, but at the end of the day, it’s still a turd. Well, I’m about to be that turd. It’s time to shit all over this jacket. Sewer Dragon, burps, farts, and leaves the sewers through a manhole. |
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Post by amsterDAN on Mar 28, 2019 20:22:41 GMT
HELL TO THE F'N YEEEEEEEEUH. Sewer Dragon is here, and he's vowed to leave some serious stains on our immaculate jacket and rack up one hell of a dry-cleaning bill! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We already got ourselves a match, so you'll just have to wait your turn. Challenges are... |
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Post by faulknasty on Mar 28, 2019 20:48:09 GMT
@themallardmwwc
"Back to training, I will be the best"
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