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Post by turrible666 on Aug 19, 2018 14:31:20 GMT
 Renamed moves translation: Spinning Bird Bomb=Dinosaur Buster, One-Winged Canary=One-Winged Angel, Sesame Lock=Yes Lock Hometown: The Parts Unknown Television Workshop
Bio: El Hijo Del Big Bird Machine is a promising young rookie who hopes to carry on the legacy of his father, the legendary Big Bird Machine. While he seems to bear little physical resemblance to the Original Street Fighter, most notably being over a foot shorter and lacking the dense covering of yellow feathers, the two have assured us that they are indeed related.
Strengths: Extremely athletic for his size, one of new new recruits to not get ripped off by Ol' Ross Gracie, due to Hoss not wanting to gets smashed in the face by an enormous bird.
Weaknesses: Green rookie who hasn't yet reached his full potential. (relatively low point total and no special skills)
VH1 Behind the Music: I'm too lazy and unskilled, and rarely have this much free time, so I'll probably never do the whole e-fed thing, but I've already thought of like 100 things I could do with this guy, if I ever did such a thing. Oh well.  (fourth costume is for meeting with probation officer and weekend visitation with his kids) Move Translations: Oi! Punch=Force Body Punch, Sonic Reducer=Package Piledriver, Spinal Exploitation=Cobra Clutch Backbreaker, Borstal Backbreaker=One-Hand Backbreaker Hometown: Birmingham, England
Bio: Nasty Dick is a big, mean street thug who absolutely does not care for his own safety and well-being, and even less for that of his opponents. And he cares even less for personal hygiene or the poor guy who has to work the little button that bleeps out all the cuss words in his promos. Seriously, they should just tape the button down or cut to commercial or something, it's awful, just terrible.
Strengths: Crazy-ass brawler who actually gets stronger when he bleeds.
Weaknesses: More focused on punishment than victory, prone to disqualification and being flash-pinned after dominating a match. Unable to wrestle on the third Friday of every month, because that's when he meets his probation officer.
Entrance Theme: "What Have We Got?" by Sham 69
VH1 Behind the Music: I'm a mental twelve year-old, so the shortened form of the name Richard is hilarious when placed next to any word. So it took a lot of restraint to only use the name once for a non-jobber, and you're all just lucky this whole page isn't full of guys with names like "Dick Balls" or whatever.  (L-R: normal attire, "just got back from Jazzercise" attire, "my old basketball uniform still fits" attire, and OFFICE HALLOWEEN PARTY 2017) Move Translations: Immediate Termination=F-5, Corporate Restructuring=butterfly neck lock Hometown: Astoria, Illinois
Bio: Hey look, I know she's never wrestled before, and as far as I know, she's never even been trained, but we've only got like four other people in the women's division right now, and she kept bugging me. Yeah, I dunno, she kept insisting she could do it, and talking about how she played basketball ion community college, so I figured we could just throw her in there with some of the trainees, until she decided to - OH MY DEAR SWEET LORD, I THINK SHE JUST KILLED THAT WOMAN
Strengths: A true powerhouse. And let's be honest, the element of surprise when a polite soccer mom ends up stomping someone through the ring.
Weaknesses: Has lost quite a bit of cardiovascular conditioning since community college basketball days. Occasionally misses shows when she can't find a sitter.
Entrance Theme: "When I Come Around" by Green Day
VH1 Behind the Music: The Green Day entrance music just seemed like the most "hey, I used to be cool twenty years ago" thing I had on my hard drive that seemed reasonable. It was either that or go find some Michael Bublé or whatever.  (L-R: Extreme 90s, Boring Modern, FIRE SAUCE, Taco Belfry uniform)  Move Translations: (top to bottom) backflip driver, reincarnation, Sweet Chin Music, moonsault foot stomp, Mexican stretch Hometown: Flavortown
Bio: Taco Belle is one of two corporate-sponsored wrestlers in STRUGGLE Pro, (the other being The Korn Demon) with backing from the Tri-State Area's most popular local taco chain, Taco Belfry, which is just as famous for its burritos as it is for miraculously beating a copyright infringement suit from Yum! Brands. Legal issues aside, the Belle is a popular high-flyer, who secretly attributes her physical conditioning and athleticism to avoiding Taco Belfry's food at all costs.
Strengths: Exceptional all-around athlete, corporate backing makes her one of very few STRUGGLE superstars without a day job.
Weaknesses: Technically is still an employee of Taco Belfry, and has been drafted for emergency restaurant duty on occasion, usually big drinking holidays, when everyone coincidentally calls in sick for two days.
Entrance Theme: "Hunger" by Kick Axe (aka Spectre General)
VH1 Behind the Music: Joins Rodimus Primo as one of two wrestlers (and counting?) with entrance music from the 1986 Transformers: the Movie soundtrack. I actually looked up hex codes for official Taco Bell colors. Thank you, I know. |
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 6, 2018 0:30:28 GMT
Haven't actually uploaded anything other than a couple of referees lately, although I did finish one guy I haven't uploaded and am about 80% done fixing the logic on three more old ones. (so Mayonnaise Boy, Screaming Rage Man, and Captain STRUGGLE should probably work a lot better by this weekend) Meanwhile, again, I'll probably never have the motivation or time to go full-on e-fed with this thing, but now I wish I did, because "use spray paint to reuse a previous year's supercard mat" is one of my most favorite goofy ideas I've ever had.
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Post by Zealot on Sept 6, 2018 1:04:38 GMT
Excellent stuff here. Got some good laughs off these.
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rsws
JIM MINY
Posts: 66
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Post by rsws on Sept 6, 2018 8:42:31 GMT
I've actually been following your edits for awhile, now. Love your shit, dude.
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Post by Mista Li on Sept 7, 2018 18:40:22 GMT
Skip Legday is freaking gold. 'The Gainmaker'.. Bravo sir.
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 8, 2018 2:02:39 GMT
Renamed Moves: Cross-arm Northern Lights bomb, side-roll stunner, fall-down electric chair, Romero Special, Goriconoclasm
Hometown: Old Bridge, New Jersey
Bio: In the not-too-distant past, around '86 A.D., young Walter Stadankowicz was a hesher, as you can see. Got a job at the Science Institute, pushing a mop in a sweet jumpsuit, but he'd show up high and blast Slayer tapes, and his bosses didn't like him, so they tricked him into being the subject of a cruel and illegal experiment, wherein he was cryogenically frozen for over thirty years.
So poor Walt was now a stranger in a strange land of cell phones, gigantic televisions, and horrifying revelations of the decades he'd missed. ("Wait, who's that fourth guy in Metallica? Where's Cliff? WHERE IS CLIFF!?") His girlfriend moved on and married some poser. All his friends were dead, in prison, had been elected to congress, or had been elected to congress and then died in prison. Worst of all, Slayer had announced their farewell tour. He decided to begin a new life, and after he won his multi-million dollar lawsuit and the lawyers had taken their cut, he used the remaining $6000 to buy a gently-used '85 Trans Am and enroll in wrestling school. We never accused him of being very smart. Rumored to be the long lost father of STRUGGLE cruiserweight star Radical Jeremy.
Strengths: Exceptional brawler, but surprisingly well-rounded otherwise, despite having never really shown many hints of athleticism back during the Reagan administration.
Weaknesses: Inexperienced wrestler whose headbutt-based offense does not bode well for career longevity. Physical side effects of being frozen for three decades are still not clear.
Entrance Theme: "Soldiers of Metal" by Anthrax
VH1 Behind the Music: Would've been way more of a lay-up to use "The Toxic Waltz" as his entrance theme, but just when you think you know all the answers, I change the question, or something. The gas mask entrance gear (because come on, he had to have a gas mask) somehow simultaneously turned out worse than I had hoped, but better than I could have ever imagined. Someday, Spike needs to provide us with adequate knee-holes. |
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 16, 2018 4:29:56 GMT
 L-R: normal, Super Peppy, Golf Weekend Cosplay, and Entrance Gear/Deathmatch Armor  Renamed Moves: Ground octopus hold, stepping shoutei, sumo driver, full-Nelson facebuster, Vader bomb
Hometown: Etremely Online
Bio: After being unjustly shadow-banned from Twitter for kinda-sorta posting explicitly-detailed death threats to several left-leaning celebrities and uninterested girls, Peppy hit the gym to spread the word about Western Civilization via a new medium: pro wrestling. Then after four minutes, he left the gym and decided to just adopt a ring strategy of hitting people in the balls a whole bunch. A formidable competitor so long as his opponent never decides to fight back, he hasn't won many matches, but still boasts of how "triggered" his opponent was after each loss. Unfortunately, his promos are usually impossible to air, due to their length of 4-6 hours and his insistence on filming them in his mom's car. Has tried to form alliances with several STRUGGLE wrestlers, most famously President Evil, who finally took him aside and calmly explained to him that his was a "way too ideological" brand of evil for his tastes, then called him a "fucking nerd" and karate-chopped him in the throat. Occasionally tags with Ugly, Stupid Bob, which embarrasses him greatly.
Strengths: Vicious brawler with absolutely zero regard for the rules of pro wrestling, just constantly smashing his opponents in the nuts.
Weaknesses: The living definition of a glass cannon. Absolutely folds up when an opponent has the upper hand, and his late-match strategy tends to mainly involve furiously backpedaling and screaming to the ref about how unfairly he's being treated. Also, a complete cardiovascular nightmare, due to his workout regimen of all-day posting and a diet consisting entirely of absurdly-overcooked meat, allegedly "to trigger the libs."
Entrance Theme: The Wolfenstein 3D MIDI version of "Horst-Wessel-Lied"
VH1 Behind the Music: It's a good thing I'm too old and suck too bad at video games to become a famous game streamer, because things like this are what would cause my murder, via misdirected SWAT team. My lawyers have advised me to publicly state that the resemblance to Chuck Johnson is purely coincidental, and that there's only anecdotal evidence that he ever shat on the floor. Somehow, I managed to make an edit that can be a monster heel or a complete jabroni, depending on how the RNG falls. Weird.
 Renamed Moves: Crippler Crossface, diving double-knee chin-crusher, Gory crusher Hometown: San Francisco, CA
Bio: The ironically-named Patience is perhaps the most hated wrestler in STRUGGLE Pro, which is wild when you think of the ground that covers. In addition to being an arrogant rule-breaker in the ring, she's also foul-tempered and condescending to the ring crew and support staff, spending more time demanding to speak to management and threatening to have people fired than actually preparing for her matches. In addition, no babysitter in the entire Tri-State Area will agree to work for her anymore, so her insufferable twin brats, Beaudeyene and Breighziee, are a constant presence backstage, breaking and stealing shit, and generally destroying locker room morale. She is a curse on all our lives. As far as anyone knows, she's the only living human capable of instilling deep, near-homicidal rage in the normally nice-to-a-fault Pam From Human Resources, as she's the one who has to deal with her constant complaints about the staff.
Strengths: Surprisingly-accomplished wrestler, and her shrill demeanor can cause sufficient anger in her opponents to cause them to make mistakes that they normally wouldn't make.
Weaknesses: Prone to being rolled up from behind while berating the referee and/or camera man. The reverse-mullet hairstyle of her people can sometimes cause visibility issues.
Entrance Theme: "Roar" by Katy Perry
VH1 Behind the Music: Worked out a lot of personal issues from old retail jobs with this one. Feels good, you guys.
 L-R: two regular attires, Casual Sweatpants, and Ran Out of Quarters for Laundry and Had to Wear Regular Pants attire  Renamed Moves: Fish stretch sleeper, STO, STO bomber (we tried to talk him out of using his own name for those instead of Ogawa's), diving neckbreaker Hometown: Normal, IL
Bio: A few years ago, Parker Duval was the next big thing of the American independent wrestling scene, and surely fame and fortune would soon follow. His star was on the rise, and the question of New Japan or the WWE giving him a call was more of a "when" than an "if." The world was his oyster. Then, his wife left him, his cat died, a vindictive county judge sentenced him to 6 months in jail for a parking violation, and his apartment and everything in it was destroyed in a bizarre sewer disaster that science still hasn't been able to explain. Homeless and utterly hopelss, he suffered a mental breakdown that resulted in him hitting rock bottom, living in his car in a parking lot in front of a run-down, abandoned hellhole of a building in the worst, most dangerous part of town. Then, STRUGGLE Pro Wrestling started running shows there, and he's been with us ever since! A living representation of the STRUGGLE that this company was named after, he hopes to one day win the Tri-State Championship and finally earn enough money for an apartment, or at least a van. The car in which he resides no longer runs, possibly due to all the sugar President Evil poured in the gas tank when he got bored. Also, some young punks stole three of the wheels.
Strengths: when his head is in the right place, is actually just super-good at the wrestling, to a point where you get the feeling that his talents are wasted in a pissant pawn shop like STRUGGLE Pro.
Weaknesses: Prone to injury in his back and neck, as a result of trying to cram a 6'2" frame into the backseat of an economy sedan every night. His car is also permanently parked next to where the guy who sells dope before the shows operates out of his hatchback, so if he doesn't get in the building fast enough, he has to wrestle with a contact-high.
Entrance Theme: "Nervous Breakdown" by Black Flag
VH1 Behind the Music: This guy just sort of formed in my head as I aimlessly messed around with beards and haircuts. I'm pretty sure I was going to make him a mountain man survivalist or a train-hopping hobo at one point. I probably made a terrible mistake using the color red in his tights, because dude is throwing off some severe Daniel Bryan vibes.
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 16, 2018 15:37:08 GMT
Quick Update: It was really bugging me how Daniel Bryan-esque Parking Lot Duval was, so I gave him new pants and recolored his hair a little:
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 16, 2018 16:57:09 GMT
 L-R: creepy white diaper-like attire, creepy micro-sized off-white attire, creepy attire probably for interpretive dance or something, creepy formal wear  Renamed Moves: Danshoku Nightmare, Flying Bodyscissors Attack, Danshoku Driver Hometown: Mayo, Florida
Bio: A longtime STRUGGLE Pro mainstay for reasons no one can ascertain (like I mean he just wandered into the building one day), Mayonnaise Boy is... Well... He's just kinda unsettling. He's all weird and pale and lumpy and greasy-looking and he just oozes around the ring, and I dunno, I kinda wish he'd just go away. I mean, I don't hate him or anything, like he's not actively malicious, aside from the occasional nut-shot; he just makes everyone so uncomfortable. Maybe someday, we'll get him to put on a shirt, but I don't know if we'll ever get him to stop asking Murray the backstage interview guy creepy questions about plums. Receives financial support for his wrestling career from his wife of seven years, a rocket scientist and former Miss America contestant. And yeah, no one can understand how that happened.
Strengths: Total lack of respect for personal space makes him a surprisingly effective mat wrestler. Omnipresent layer of oil on skin (believed to literally be a thin layer of room-temperature mayonnaise) aids in reversals and makes opponents reluctant to touch him.
Weaknesses: Not very strong, fast, or athletic, and in terrible cardiovascular shape. Mind game tactics to disorient and bewilder opponents will occasionally just piss them off.
Entrance Theme: "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus
VH1 Behind the Music: Originally made this guy on Final Fire Pro as a jobber who looked kinda like The Destroyer, and over time he became less of a jobber, but more of a serial killer-esque take on the old stereotypical "sexually liberated heel" wrestling gimmick. I'm pretty sure I tried to make him look like Jim Gaffigan at first, then failed miserably and gave up. Turns into a violent misogynist when facing female opponents, because of how the nightmare turns into the super-stomp. I wish there was a way to sit on all sorts of faces instead. (That's a sentence I typed just now. Yup.)
 L-R: RAGE, BLACK RAGE, RAGE JORTS, RAGE BUSINESS Renamed Moves: that double powerbomb/death valley driver thing, one-leg missile kick, kesagiri chop rush, torture rack, arm-hold dangerous knee kick Hometown: Hiroshima, Japan
Bio: No one seems to know who this guy is, where he came from, or how he got here, but they're all universally terrified of him. Never before has the world of STRUGGLE Pro Wrestling witnessed such a walking engine of pure, distilled anger. What happened to him? Who made him this way? What can men do against such reckless hate? I looked into his eyes once, and it froze me to my very core. Has God forsaken us?
Strengths: Superhuman strength, disregard for the health and well-being of all other humans, and a berserker rage that instills terror in his opponents.
Weaknesses: Clearly more intent on crippling and maiming his opponents than actually winning matches. Loses a surprising amount of matches by simply not bothering to go for pins and punching himself out.
Entrance Theme: "Angel of Death" by Slayer (I originally used "Oh Die! Oh! Choose Die!!" by Yellow Machinegun, but c'mon man, that opening scream is perfect)
VH1 Behind the Music: Worked backwards from the idea of an apocalyptically pissed-off dude who screams after every single move. I gave him the most pissed-off looking moves and couple them with the most naturally pissed-off looking face, and worked from there for his appearance. Somehow, he ended up looking like Yukio Mishima with a Hitler mustache, and yeah, I dunno. A word of warning that he really doess scream after every move, so he might get annoying pretty fast. Also, another guy who doesn't work right in intergender situations, because I used the nightmare and the lip lock super-stomp trick, so against women, he just turns into a rapist. Again, they need to make universal versions of the Danshoku Dino moves and make a stand-alone super-stomp.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Sept 16, 2018 17:41:11 GMT
I am absolutely throwing Parking Lot Duval on my roster, and want to give him a shot in the Senatorial Office for an exhibition at some point.
Love the character work that goes into these edits.
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 16, 2018 18:01:27 GMT
Right on, he needs the bookings. Security deposits are surprisingly high in the Tri-State Area.
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TravBot
Steel Johnson
Mr. Kyu Kyu Dolphin
Posts: 111
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Post by TravBot on Sept 16, 2018 18:13:27 GMT
Seriously wish I had the PC version for these chaps
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rsws
JIM MINY
Posts: 66
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Post by rsws on Sept 17, 2018 16:38:24 GMT
There are some brilliant creators on PC. Turrible666, you are one of them.
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 19, 2018 1:44:47 GMT
(L-R: ghoulish, "the boys chipped in and got him some new gear," casual Zubaz, Rivera Steakhouse (not Ribera) entrance gear) Renamed moves: tombstone, iron claw, I am Taue Hometown: Parts Unknown Bio: No one seems to remember who he once was, but there was a time when the entity known today as "The Undertaken" was a journeyman pro wrestler. He was never a superstar and didn't have much hope of ever becoming one, but he was a good hand, so he got regular shots on WWF and WCW weekend shows as local enhancement talent. Until it all went horribly wrong. After a 1991 match with a WWF superstar who I will not mention here, (but his name rhymed with "Schmundertaker") he was zippped inside a bodybag and carried to the back, as was customary with said wrestler. Then, as what was thought to be a hilarious joke at the time, they dragged him down to the boiler room and just sort of left him in there for a while. But eventually, they forgot about him. And with this particular bag's shoddily made (and incredibly stuck) zipper, he was trapped inside. Forever. Or so it seemed, until he arose as an undead spirit of vengeance, propelled by pure malice against the one he blamed for his death: Steven T. Ruggle, the proprietor of both Ruggle Bodybags, LLC and STRUGGLE Pro Wrestling. But as it turns out, that guy was already in prison for doing all kinds of crazy shit, so his revenge was thwarted. And the new guy in charge, Steven's younger brother, Simple Nate, seemed like a decent dude, so exacting revenge on him would be messed up. He just sort of wandered around looking sad and lost and confused, until someone noticed he had on the tattered, musty remains of both wrestling trunks and a Rivera (not to be confused with Ribera) Steakhouse jacket, and figured he must be a wrestler. So they hired him to do jobs on the weekend shows. Strengths: As a literal deadman, he feels no pain and can withstand massive physical damage.
Weaknesses: He's super-slow, and let's face it, he wasn't championship material when he was still alive. Entrance theme: "Funeral March" by Damnation A.D. VH1 Behind the Music: this one's weird, where he ended up as some sort of Jobber Final Boss, whose attacks do nothing (2s in most parameters, I think a couple 3s) but is super-hard to out down. (Hardbody, 8s in all defensive parameters) I may have created the Perfect Boring Edit. (Also, I overhauled Gummo Nakamura, but I'm saving that post until tomorrow, because doing these on a tiny phone keyboard is hell.)
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Post by turrible666 on Sept 20, 2018 0:05:39 GMT
 L-r: so much trademark infringement, Honest Businessman attire  Renamed moves: brass knuckles, mach punch rush, reverse DDT, mounted punches, top-rope reverse DDT
Hometown: Hackensack, NJ
Bio: Gummo Nakamura is a natural born hustler. He grew up on the Mean Streets, and was pursuing a boxing career, while occasionally moonlighting as a pro wrestler (Under the name "Gorgeous Gary Nantucket") for the fledgling S.T. Ruggle Sports Entertainment Enterprise. (S.T.R.S.E.E., which got shortened to STRUGGLE about a week later, because it was a damn mouthful) Of course, the pay sucked, so he supplemented his income working as a leg-breaker for some two-bit loan shark when he finally made his fortune importing knockoff fake cell phone antennas (as opposed to authentic fake cell phone antennas) in the 1990s. He left boxing and wrestling behind and began a career as a "professional entrepreneur and master of ceremonies," investing in multiple semi-legitimate ventures, including multiple hair salons, car washes, and massage parlors, and most famously, Gorgeous Gummo's Casa De Butts, which is the only gentleman's club in the Tri-State area sleazy enough to host a Kid's Night. Eventually, word got out that his unfathomably-distant cousin Shinsuke had built something of a career for himself in pro wrestling, and he saw dollar signs, getting back into the wrestling game under the pretense of having local promotions simply put "NAKAMURA" in big letters at the top of the poster, with "absolutely no refunds" in tiny letters at the bottom. Eventually lawyers got involved and he had to re-apply his first name to his wrestling career, which drastically reduced his drawing power, b ut by then, he had gotten bit by the wrestling bug again, so he's still here. Strengths: Former gold Gloves winning boxer and petty criminal, which has translated into being an effective brawler. Weaknesses: Age and decades of heavy smoking and drinking have proven a liability in longer matches. Plus, a severe lack of scientific wrestling skills in the event that his opponent draws him into a non-brawl.
Entrance Theme: "I'll Wait" by Van Halen VH1 Behind the Music: There was this old Muppet Show skit where Sam the Eagle came out and announced that they were going to present a shirt film by Ingmar Bergman, and he was all proud and excited that the show was finally going to have some culture and class. Then, all of a sudden, Floyd from the Electric Mayhem interrupts him, saying how they couldn't actually get an Ingmar Bergman film, and that the one they had was "by his brother, Gummo." So I've spent roughly the last thirty years thinking that the idea of a relative of lesser talent named "Gummo" was the funniest shit ever, and I've finally found a way to share this with the world. Thank you, Spike Chunsoft. Thank you.
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