The STRUGGLE is real - newww stufffffff

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turrible666
Dag Boomer

Posts: 472

The STRUGGLE is real - newww stufffffff Oct 31, 2022 23:55:22 GMT LankyLefty17, Fuee, and 3 more like this

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Post by turrible666 on Oct 31, 2022 23:55:22 GMT

First some new appearances for old edits:

Thanks to new stuff hitting the workshop, PATIENCE HALLIBURTON-VANZETTI is rocking a two-tone look these days

In order to further his cause as a singles wrestler, DIMITRI GROZNY has ditched the longhandles, and is showing off them gams now.

And now that she won't be wrestling for a while, DONITA ZAPATA has put on a new shirt, likely against the advice of medical officials.

And now, it's time to look back at STRUGGLEWEEN II

It's officially BIG BOI SEASON in the Mushroom Kingdom

and I regret to inform you all that THE HARBINGERS have indeed Broken Bad.

The members of JEZEBEL-GUN are now officially made of sugar, spice, everything nice, and Chemical X

And the female representatives of the FIRST CLASS FAMILY have taken a decidedly anti-Marvel stance

PATIENCE HALLIBURTON-VANZETTI has warned that if you do not hit her, baby, one more time, she will notify your manager.

PAM FROM HUMAN RESOURCES recently caused controversy by mooning the Lambeau crowd.

For SCREAMING RAGE MAN, today's secret word is YEEEEAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHH

Meanwhile, PARKING LOT DUVAL abides.

YOU WANTED THE BEST, YOU GOT ACE LA GRANGE INSTEAD.

Apparently CRASH FERRARI loses so many matches, because the canvas is tainted with Kryptonite.

Finally, eternal Evil Pro Wrestling champion "DOC EVIL" is truly The Gentleman of Professional Wrestling.

turrible666
Dag Boomer

Posts: 472

The STRUGGLE is real - newww stufffffff Jan 5, 2023 1:42:46 GMT jimofmanynames and markrocker like this

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Post by turrible666 on Jan 5, 2023 1:42:46 GMT

OH LOOK, IT'S MORE NEW STUFF, SUCH AS HISTORICAL FIGURES WHO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AROUND, YET YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT THEM UNTIL JUST NOW FOR SOME REASON

(L-R: Regular, alternate, street fight, modern)

The massive lumberjack BIG FRENCHY TABARNAK was one of the most hated villains up in Canada back in the 70s, before becoming one of most hated villains in the Tri-State Area back in the 1980s. He was quite possibly even worse behind the scenes, with his legendary substance abuse spilling over into televised wrestling events, such as the time a completely-zooted Frenchy pledged to shoot himself in the left foot if he didn't win his upcoming match against Memphis King, and demonstrated how serious he was by pulling out a revolver and shooting himself in the right foot, on live television in front of a horrified studio audience. He was fired immediately. These days, an elderly Frenchy runs a small gift shop in a quiet tourist town in the mountains of Quebec, where he was accepted with open arms by the local community, mainly because they were afraid of him, before being accepted with open arms for real, once they figured out that he had actually mellowed out quite a bit.

FINISHER: Canadian Backbreaker
ENTRANCE THEME: None.

(L-R: classic, classic entrance gear, modern, modern entrance gear)

Hoo boy. With his fabulous sideburns, glittering crown, and spotless blue suede shoes, MEMPHIS KING was an almost unreal money-drawing attraction in the Memphis territory back in the early 80s, until all of a sudden, he just kind of left and people stopped talking about him, almost as though pretending he was never there. He kept popping up in other regions, and the same cycle of superstardom and sudden disavowal kept happening, until he finally settled down in the Tri-State Area, where he never rose to his previous heights, but had a solid career deep into the 1990s. As for his current whereabouts, well, he's still active, although he probably should have retired twenty years ago. You see, he's kinda desperate for money these days... Because... Well... You know, he's had a lot of legal problems, including several lawsuits and being legally barred from coming within 100 yards of any school, public library, playground, church, dog park, cemetery, steel mill, or furniture store in the area. The less said about why, the better.

FINISHER: figure Four Leglock

ENTRANCE THEME: "Blue Suede Shoes" by Elvis Presley

(L-R: Early career, 90s Japan, STRUGGLE, modern)

Starting out in the late 1980s, UK import JUDITH PRIEST combined what was considered freakish athleticism for the time with a heavy metal aesthetic that should've led to superstardom. Problem was, women's wrestling in the States was absolutely on its ass at the time and stayed that way for a while, so she was just kind of a sideshow attraction until finally establishing herself as a star gaijin in Olive Japan Women's Wrestling throughout the late 1990s. Eventually, she was lured back to the US by famed scumbag promoter Steven T. Ruggle, where she helped establish the women's division of the original version of STRUGGLE, becoming its first champion, under a more rough and gritty "Painkiller" persona. After nearly having her arm ripped out of the socket by First Lady Evil, she took the hint and retired, but never fully left the business, helping Sir Lord Neville Devonshire train the next generation of UK wrestlers.

FINISHER: Electric Eye DDT

THEME: "Ram it Down" by Judas Priest

MOVING ON TO MODERN TIMES>>>>>>>

A hot new tag team that's been making waves in the indies, THE IDEA MEN (COLLIDER and ACCELERATOR) have used the influence of their diabolical manager, MOTHER BRAIN, to confound their foes with a combination of technical expertise and rampant cheating. And in case you got the crazy idea that this is all just a pale imitation of STRUGGLE legends The Think Tanks, well, that's pretty much exactly what they are. Mother Brain (whose name sounds a lot less weird now that she's in her 40s) was actually one of the earliest members of the Think Tank, where she eventually became the ex-wife of Brain God, the Calculation Master himself. As a singles wrestler, she was somewhere just outside the "big four" of Yumiko Nakano/La Grange, Judith Priest, Minerva, and Lady/First Lady Evil, as she could generally hold her own, but could never get the job done in matches for the championship. Without getting into details, she eventually had a less-than-amicable split with Brain God and the Think Tank, and the existence of the Idea Men seems like her latest attempt to get one over on the bobble-headed super-genius. While the Idea Men lack the brute strength of the genuine article, they more than make up for it in sheer rule-breaking ruthlessness.

ENTRANCE THEME: "Astronomy Domine" by Voivod

Also, here's what Mother Brain looked like, about 15-ish years ago:

Finally, recent EWX addition FREDDY 4 BLOOD (real name: Frederick Bahorsky) was once the frontman of local hardcore punk heroes Out 4 Blood, until his drug abuse, possibly-related penchant for severe head injuries, and declining mental health got him booted from the band, who somehow ended up evolving into that weird kind of twee indy rock where dudes over-pronounce the letter R. But that's not what I'm talking about right now. Anyway, Freddy's downward spiral continued, until he was living under an overpass when he wasn't in jail, and became an internet meme based on his bizarre, rambling Facebook posts. Eventually, EWX head honcho Tony Unity, himself being a veteran of the scene, took pity on the dude and gave him a job in the Unity United Records offices, where he immediately freaked out, spin-kicking anything and everyone in sight, basically crowd-killing a place of serious business. A frustrated Unity then just gave up and said "fuck it, throw him in the ring and see what happens" and thus began the wrestling career of Freddy 4 Blood.

ENTRANCE THEME: "Short Fuse" by 25 Ta Life

There were more new peoples, I'm sick of typing, so you'll have to wait. Tune in next time to find out about Morrison Mack, El Hombre Condenado, and K-Rabs.

turrible666
Dag Boomer

Posts: 472

The STRUGGLE is real - newww stufffffff Jan 16, 2023 21:47:07 GMT jimofmanynames and markrocker like this

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Post by turrible666 on Jan 16, 2023 21:47:07 GMT

Hey look, stuff and also things.

first, THE GUY IN THE BAD BRAINS SHIRT WHO SELLS DOPE IN THE PARKING LOT finally got a post-PartsCraft update. Now with an actual Bad Brains shirt, rather than just a creative smooshing-together of NJPW DLC parts.

Now, moving on to NEW STUFFFFFFFF

The eldest son of legendary local bad guy Kaptain Krabs,K-RABS (real name Kenneth Krabs) is the polar opposite of his younger (yet much, much larger) brother Todd Krabs. After being dishonorably discharged from the U.S. Navy for an incident involving several female shipmates and an entire case of baby oil, he entered the other family business of pro wrestling, where he adopted a flashy, high-flying style that probably pissed his dad off more than every other aspect of his life did. He's a brash, arrogant loudmotuhed little shit, so of course he's been an absolute fan favorite in limited action out on the mudshow indies.

Finisher: Tequila Shot
Entrance Theme: "I'm On a Boat" by The Lonely Island

MORRISON MACK is an athletic freak who combines size, power, and speed in the sort of package that hasn't been seen around these parts since Ace La Grange and Lieutenant Governor Justice burst onto the scene over 20 years ago. The problem is that he's keenly aware of all of this, and has developed the sort of overgrown sense of self-worth that usually doesn't come until after multiple world title reigns, even though he's currently a freelancer out on the National Guard armory circuit who loses a lot more often than he wins. Only time will tell if he ever lives up to his potential, instead of having to get a job at Target or whatever, but perhaps this is a job for a cowboy...

Finisher: Five-Star Neckbreaker
Theme: "Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison

(L-R: Eternal, Eternal entrance gear, Classico Style, Classico Player Dos)

Coming soon to a TSLL ring near you, EL HOMBRE CONDENADO is mysterious, silent powerhouse who spells doom for any opponent who faces him. Seriously, he's basically the Doom Guy, that's the joke. They can't all have elaborate backstories, y'all. Sometimes, they just wrassle.

Theme: "The Only Thing They Fear is You" by Mick Gordon

Moving across the pond to Notoriety, we have a recent Dojo graduate the promotion has high hopes for, "The Golden Girl," SOFIA. What people don't know is that prior to enrolling in the Notoriety Dojo, she traveled down the road and back again, learning the secrets of wrestling from a who's who of legends from across the globe, including Judith Priest, Sir Lord Neville Devonshire, and Ol' Ross Gracie, as well as being the first female to study under legendary European champion Olaf "The Saint" Zbornak, as well as former Georgia Territory champion Devereaux Nylund. And on top of all of this knowledge, she's a rare athlete, with a perfect combination of speed and agility. In fact, if you started a promotion and invited everyone you knew, you would see, the greatest athletic gifts would belong to... she. Oddly, while she puts forth an arrogant air of superiority in the ring, she becomes a different person backstage, with many fellow wrestlers considering her to be both a pal and a confidant, often thanking her for being a friend.

Finisher: Golden Star Press

Finally, here's this, where I thought about Beth Phoenix having that whole "Glamazon" deal going on, and I dunno, I started trying to think of what other words would be funny to put in a "replace the first syllable with glam" format, and this... thing happened.

I call this THE GLAMBURGLAR, and I will be deleting Fire Pro Wrestling World shortly, so that something like this never happens again.

turrible666
Dag Boomer

Posts: 472

The STRUGGLE is real - newww stufffffff May 14, 2023 20:19:37 GMT Senator Phillips, Fuee, and 2 more like this

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Post by turrible666 on May 14, 2023 20:19:37 GMT

First for the "background non-wrestlers I may never actually use" pile...

With the recent return and continued success of the Coke Brothers, the rest of the family has taken notice. And in order to assess the earnings potential of theoretical merchandising and endorsement deals, family patriarch and local gazillionaire ESCOBAR COKE has assigned the duo's younger, more sober sister GRISELDA COKE to keep tabs on the team. At least that's what they tell the brothers; in reality, she's there to minimize any embarrassment and damage to the family name, as well as to smooth things over with the cops the next time ROSS freaks out from his ongoing battle with cocaine psychosis.

And the next one is an addition to the NEW BRITANNIA PRO WRESTLING stable, with a change to a previous wrestler from a page or two ago. Basically, just go back to the WICKED STEPSISTERS entry and retroactively change HYACINTH ONSLOW's name to VIOLET ONSLOW, because I needed that name to keep the "Keeping Up Appearances" joke running into the ground.

So anyway, the "new" HYACINTH ONSLOW doesn't associate much with her two younger stepsisters (none of whom share a single strand of DNA, due to a tangled web of deaths and divorces) and mostly just looks down on the two with a haughty air of superiority. As a scientifically trained technical wrestler who is all business in the ring, she strongly disapproves of DAISY's flashy, high-risk style and tendency to cater to the male gaze, as well as VIOLET's violent headbutts-and-elbows style and horrible potty mouth. I might give her a different haircut eventually.

For the LEGENDS OF THE TRI-STATE AREA pile, here's "DYNAMIC" DANNY DYNAMITE. As a promising young wrestler with an excess of skill and charisma back in the 1990s, the future looked bright, until TSWa champ/promoter MANNY DIAZ took an interest in his career, and suggested (or forced upon him, depending on who you ask) a hip new image, inspired by POOCHIE THE ROCKIN' DOG, from a Simpsons episode that he never saw the ending of. Danny's career immediately cratered, turning him into a laughingstock and target for airborne trash for an audience that now despised him. An attempt to resurrect his career in the early days of Japan's MOSES promotion failed, and a half-crippled and much more balding version of Danny circled the drain in the original STRUGGLE's hardcore division, before injuries and drug use ended his career sent him on a downward spiral of working at a local Target. Eventually, he got clean and ended up working his way up the ladder until he managed the whole goddang store, earning more money there than he ever did wrestling. However, he still carries a deep bitterness toward pro wrestling, as well as ACE LA GRANGE for stealing his veritcal suplex-to-stunner finishing move.

Finally, the latest in a line of local musicians who ended up falling into wrestling, BREE HURGLEGURGLE once had a (relatively) bright future as the vocalist (for lack of a better term) for local brutal metalcore band ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISMENT. The group was known for their deep and introspective lyrics, or at least they were in theory, as they published no lyrics, had absolutely unintelligible vocals, and leaned heavily on needlessly complicated song titles. (Their one full-length release, Dissociating From that Which We Know to Have Been Unlearned (A Chapter Closes) is still on sale now at UNITY UNITED RECORDS, for the record.) Eventually, it was discovered they actually had no lyrics whatsoever, or as a fan put it during a lull at what proved to be their final concert, "Wait a ding-dang minute! She's just been hollerin' her own name this whole time! Sumbitch, every band at this show has been yellin' that girl's name! What are we doing with our lives!?" This led to a near-complete collapse of the local brutal metalcore scene, oddly mirroring what happened the the Tri-State Area's death metal scene back in the 90s, when a similar discovery was made regarding her uncle, EARL HURGLEGURGLE. With her music career in tatters and not much to fall back on but some entry-level knowledge of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, (because they all fuckin' get into that eventually) she turned to label head and EWX promoter TONY UNITY about starting a wrestling career, but with EWX's theoretical women's division conisting of like two scantily-clad valets, he instead referred her to the HOSS DOJO.