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Post by Senator Phillips on Jan 23, 2019 19:27:55 GMT
Full Lariats #7 Card is set!
-The Senatorial Office has finalized the card for Lariats and Legislators #7, set to be held on February 8, in the Dominican Republic. Santana Family Wrestling has a strong presence on the card, including a unique tag match for the Dominican Golden Championship. However, the true headline event of the card is a #1 Ranking bout between the new champion, Jean-Pierre Mutombo and the dominant champion of the PEWA, Tomas the Tiny Giant.
Lariats and Legislators #7: Dominican Domination
Friday, February 8 at 8:00 PM (CT) at the Auditorio de Pedro Santana in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
Senatorial Office #1 Ranking Bout
Jean-Pierre Mutombo(c) vs. Tomas the Tiny Giant
After Lariats #6, Mutombo upset longstanding #1 Ranked Cowboy Johnston to take the top spot, and declared himself to be an active champion. After debuting a new look and improved ring presence at a recent Lightning Pro show, JPM looks to be true to his word. On the other hand, Tomas, in spite of past failures in securing the top spot, has kept his head down and put on dominant performances in defending his PEWA Extreme title as well as finding an integral spot in the rebooted SHTCWA. As such, he has once again gained the chance to become the face of the Office.
Santana Family Wrestling: Dominican Golden Championship Bout
Felix Santana Jr.(c) and Senator Steve Phillips vs. The Immovable Object Meets the Irresistible Force (Colossus Rhodes and Julio Rivera)
A bizarre, convoluted matchup to say the least, in which Felix Santana Jr. can lose his title if he drops the fall to either Rhodes or Rivera. He has called upon longtime ally Steve Phillips to join up for this match, and it is notable that if the Senator takes the fall, the belt does not change hands. With the high tension environment of SFW, due to Morgan “Midas” Matthews’s constant derogatory comments and interference, the stakes are exceptionally high in this one.
Pan African Wrestling vs. AAW
Mohammad Ramses vs. Adrien Lawton(AAW)
After defeating fellow boxer Ricky Valdez in UCSS competition, Adrien Lawton was at it again, calling out the Pan African Champion, Mohammad Ramses. The Egyptian accepted the challenge, and the two will meet in what will be a clash of styles and cultures. Ramses, contrary to his upcoming foe, has taken a stoic, less braggadocious route in promoting the fight, simply stating that he "welcomes the worthy challenge." While this match will not be for the Pan African Championship, a Lawton victory could certainly open doors for the former pugilist, who is currently on leave from his home organization.
UCSS Openweight Title Bout
Thiago Gracie(c) vs. Gang Wong
The dominant reign of the first, and only Universal Combat Shoot Style Openweight champion continues, as Thiago Gracie’s trademark armbar and skillful jiu-jitsu keep him in place. However, Gang Wong could represent the strongest challenge yet to the title, with the Shaolin Superstar’s blinding speed and breathtaking agility giving him an athletic edge over the Brazilian.
Wacker Drive Revival: The Loop Championship Bout
NBNF(c)(The X-Treme Kid, DUDE Smith and Emerald Santiago) vs. The Action Pack(Ross Malone, Dutch Schwartz and Elle Barrett)
The veteran ex-military stable makes its Office debut with a big time challenge against the current holders of The Loop. The X-Treme Kid’s NBNF stable, having purged its PEWA contingent, seeks to solidify its hold on the trophy with a victory, and could be considered the slight favorites against their senior opponents.
TIPWF Lone Star Heavyweight Championship Bout
Cowboy Johnston(c) vs. Lil’ Lariato
This match already happened in a non-title sense on 11/7/18, in the TIPWF, but with the mutual respect between Lariato and Johnston, and the former’s strong showings since then, this rematch will be for the TIPWF Lone Star Heavyweight title. Expect neither man to hold back in this one, but also expect this to be as respectful of a fight as possible.
UCSS Rules Grudge Match
”Irish Firecracker” Aoife Daley vs. “Mercenary in Exile” Renate Barlowe
Daley first received this match when she challenged Stanford Bradley during a recent UCSS program, and put up a brave fight in defeat to the vicious limb breaking mercenary. This time, she arrives prepared and ready for the onslaught. This might not yield a different result, however…
Home Team vs. Rudo Army
El Froggy Mask, Felix Santana III and Margarita Morales vs. Poison Froggy Mask, El Hijo De Macchiato and Megan Chabot
A solid trios match pitting the usual suspects in Santana Family Wrestling against each other. The Home Team puts forth a diverse set of competitors with the unparalleled agility of El Froggy, the amateur style of Felix III and the submission trickery of Morales against a typical Rudo Army threat headed by Poison Froggy Mask.
El Experto vs. Canadian Grizzly
Two international travelers meet here, with the Canadian Grizzly looking to pit his classically trained lineage of the Hart Dungeon against the old school Lucha Libre and rough tactics of El Experto.
Princesa Torbellina vs. Felice Santana
High speed opener between two friendly rivals. Felice Santana has leaped into lightspeed with her showings in Phoenix Rising’s Proving Ground brand, while Torbellina has split her time between SFW and the TIPWF. Both women came up through their training under Domingo Santana at the same time, and this could be an excellent chance for Torbellina to make her name known better…but no matter what, the fans should win out with this opener.[/b]
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Post by LankyLefty17 on Jan 23, 2019 21:36:37 GMT
Hot damn this is a friggin card. No bathroom break match here- I cant wait for the Cowboy/Lariato rematch, the Dominican Gold match (which I'm sure I'll misunderstand the stipulations haha), and of course the NEW JPM vs Tomas match. You could be setting yourself up for a show of the year with this one... so no pressure :)
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Post by Senator Phillips on Jan 23, 2019 21:47:58 GMT
A special edition, for all the fans, and sponsored by the one and only Morgan “Midas” Matthews, here we go with the Golden Touch Promotions and Senatorial Office Awards of 2018, on the only home of real comedy and real talk… 
Stanford Bradley: And here it is, the Golden Touch and Senatorial Office Awards of 2018 with the only man who could ever host such an inspiring event, yeah, that’s me, Stanford Bradley! Hold your applause, stop your clapping, sit your obese asses back down in your seats and relax! Because I got some awards to give out! Now, before you say “Stanford’s making up these awards,” let me throw some truth on you. These awards were commissioned by the grand golden emperor, Morgan “Midas” Matthews, and were chosen by a list of people from the Office, and not even Golden Touch people! In fact, I’ll call some of them here this afternoon as I have them announce these nominations! So first off, the 2018 Senatorial Office Promotion of the Year award! Your nominees are…pff, who gives a damn, you all know what they are! So let me call up Anthony Kalb of the Capitalists right now to announce the winner!
***
Anthony Kalb: Who the hell gave you this number, Stanford? This is the third time you called me today.
Stanford: My, my, Mr. Kalb, ticked off about the government shutdown locking you out of town? But really, just read the name I texted you and I’ll let you go back to crying in your beer like a real overaged fratboy.
Kalb: I’m not drinking, I’m working on Office paperwork!
Stanford: C’mon! Just do it! Nike!
Kalb: Fine. Your Promotion of the Year in 2018, Pan African Wrestling. Now leave me the hell alone.
Stanford: You serious? That’s who they chose? Anyway Pan African Wrestling, despite being an overly expensive boondoggle for the Office budget, did go on a big ass tour of all of Africa, and brought back someone as awesome as Renate Barlowe, so I guess I can’t complain! Next up, we got the 2018 Office Team of the Year. I got some nominees, and those would be the Neon Knights, the Roland Chang Trio, the Bingo Hall Mutants, the D-Team and the EWO. So for this one, I got another team, the Fitsharris family on the phone!
Kevin Fitsharris: Got this on speaker. But I don’t get why.
Mina Fitsharris: Make it quick, or I’ll stab you in your eye sockets, Stanford!
Stanford: Jeesh! Just want you two to read the winner, that’s all!
Mina: Winner of what? Wait, Art, Peggy, stop playing with the coat rack, no, no, Peggy, stop jumping on the couch! Get down from there, right now!
Kevin: Uh, kid trouble. So, really, you have a lot of nerve calling here after everything you’ve put the bossman through. And Mina might sound more ticked, but trust me, I catch you in the right place at the wrong time, you’re paying a real price.
Stanford: Oooooh, I’m so scared! Just read it, ok?
Kevin: Seriously? Go drink cyanide!
Stanford: Well, I guess I lost that connection. And I guess I have to open the backup envelope, because somebody couldn’t do their job! So, with no further delay, the 2018 Senatorial Office Team of the Year is the….drumroll, please….ba dum tish….Neon Knights! Guess someone’s a heavy metal fan around here. Next up, we’re keeping this running along, we got the Office’s Match of the Year! Nominees are….haha, I didn’t put that much effort into this, gotta stay cool. But someone who did put the effort in, was none other than the Ratings Man himself from the WWDD, Digital Dave Doolittle!
Digital Dave Doolittle: Stanford Bradley. You wanted my expert opinion, and that’s what you’re going to get. Now I narrowed this one down to three essential matches. First off was from the Pan African Tour, the Ladies Elimination Showcase from October fifth, with the Mistfire Coven vs. Yetunde Oya, Esi Dogboe and Nefertiri. Also from the Pan African Tour, September 29th’s match between Renate Barlowe and Yetunde Oya. A close second would be July 29’s match between Mohammad Ramses and Phil Mercury, but the finish was the only thing off on that. Our 2018 Office Match of the Year, though, is a no-brainer, and belongs to Cowboy Johnston vs. Crusher Honda from Lariats and Legislators #4. One of the best all-around matches I ever witnessed from start to finish, spectacular in every way. I would actually have given that a 150% rating if I went above 100%, but for the sake of continuity, I keep my ratings capped off at one hundred.
Stanford: Personally, not my match of the year, but Digital Dave has spoken, so we listened. And that’s all for Dave, so we’re moving on to the second to last, the almost final award of the afternoon. We have the Office Performer of the Year, 2018. And we’re calling up a man who’s bigger than wrestling itself, the guy who drinks molten gold out of a solid gold cup, who can change the course of nations with his mighty wealth, who we all bow to. Yep, we’re in the presence of modern royalty, because here’s Morgan Matthews himself with the Performer of the Year award!
Morgan “Midas” Matthews: Let us cut to the chase. The Senatorial Office has featured some of professional wrestling’s top talent in the world over the last year. And of that talent, I believe a few stars have shone brighter than the rest. Those special individuals would be Colossus Rhodes, Tomas the Tiny Giant, Cowboy Johnston, Crusher Honda and Jean-Pierre Mutombo. All of these featured athletes have held their own around the world and made great strides within the Office itself. But only one can be called 2018’s top performer. And that person would be Cowboy Johnston. He has represented the Office and the TIPWF well, and I hope he will do the same in the future…so long as he knows to stay within his own limits.
Stanford: Thank you very much, Mr. Matthews! It was an honor and a pleasure to hear those words! Now, the last, final, ultimate category is one that I requested to nominate and announce on my own lonesome self. Yes, Uncle Stanford has put in a little extra time to figure this one out. So, here’s my nominations for the Senatorial Office Moment of the Year, 2018.
-First off, would be the debut of the Funny Factory. You can’t deny that the Funny Factory has been a game changer, and deserves to be recognized. You’re here, after all!
-Number two, would be the announcement that the Office would split its talent across the Affiliate Network. Cool stuff, I suppose. But not the real moment of the year.
-After that, number three would be Stanford Bradley beating Team Senator almost single handedly. Yes, I suppose I should give a little credit to Colossus Rhodes, or he might want to arm wrestle me some day. But really, being wholly humble, it was all me. I beat El Froggy Mask and humiliated my foes.
-But not as bad as Colossus did for Number Four, when he made his big bad debut, and powerbombed Salvador Sosa on his weak overrated neck and put him into the retirement home! That was awesome, like IMAX 3D awesome. But even then, I think there’s one more moment that qualifies as the 2018, Senatorial Office Moment of the Year…
-And that would be when I, Sherlock Bradley revealed that Senator Asshole Phillips and the Irish Firecracker were doing the horizontal mambo in the Watergate! It doesn’t get better than that, folks. And with that, thank you, thank you, thank you all for showing up and spending your time with me, because I know it was your honor and privilege to do so. This is Stanford Bradley, and those were the 2018 Senatorial Office Awards of the Year.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Jan 30, 2019 7:55:39 GMT
A brief Wacker Drive card has been announced for this Friday, as Chicago hopefully recovers from the brutal cold of this week. A quick reminder that a week from WDR: Cold Snap, Lariats and Legislators #7 is set, and following that, the long-awaited Old Guard Challenge will be up.
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Wacker Drive Revival: Cold Snap
Friday, February 1st following All Time Boxing at Wacker Drive Revival in Chicago, IL
Main Event
Frank Van Sloan vs. Phil Mercury
Making his debut in Wacker Drive Revival, the Belgian Uberkicker, Frank Van Sloan will not have an easy welcome, as Phil Mercury is booked as his opponent. Mercury, one of the Office's top performers boasts a kickboxing background and top shelf athleticism on top of his flashy showmanship.
Massholes vs Blue Notes
The Massholes(Tommy O'Malley and Joey O'Shea)(Warrior Pro) vs. The Blue Notes(Big Robert Montgomery and Astro Traveler)
Warrior Pro's resident drunkards impressed Office management enough to have earned an invitation to Chicago to take on the founder, Big Robert Montgomery and the Astro Traveler in what will promise to be an intense tag team showdown.
Kick the Kicker!
Freight Train McMichaelson vs. Fred the Red
Former Chicago Bear McMichaelson has been in a foul mood ever since his former team's defeat in the NFL playoffs. He has especially raged at the Bears kicker, and has reportedly been spotted at multiple Chicago taverns calling out Cody Parkey. While Wacker Drive management could not produce Parkey, they found a kick happy footballer who would provide McMichaelson a proper challenge in Fred the Red.
Triple Threat Elimination
Sarita Jean Watkins vs. Valerie May vs. Astrid Johannson
The Watkins-Johannson feud has been boiling over for months in WDR, enough so to irritate and involve the usually-unflappable Valerie May. As such, the three will do battle in this opening match, pitting the earnest approach of Watkins against the hard hitting style of Johannson and the well versed attack of May.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 1, 2019 16:44:29 GMT
And the Friday Night Fights continue! Starting off at 6:00 PM CT, Warrior Pro arrives at a New Dawn, which can be found at www.twitch.tv/lankylefty17Titles are on the line! Rampage Hunter shocked the world with his win over Doc Wyatt at Warrior Grounds #6, a victory disputed by the former champion, but clear to everyone else that Rampage had forced the beginning of a new era through his raw power. Now, perpetual main event competitor John Logan takes his shot at the gold, and looks to solidify his status as the Mountain to Ascend. The Tag Team Tournament concludes as the quadrilateral threat of Roy Carter and Brick, the Gears of War, Blackroses' Los Ninos Perdidos and the Roland Chang Trio finish what they started to crown the first Warrior Pro Tag Team Champions! These four teams have battled over weeks to reach this point, and it can only be said that whoever wins out in the end truly deserves to be named champion. Two title matches sound enough to you? Not to Warrior Pro! A proxy war shall be waged for a shot at the Heavyweight title, as Tank McDaniel sponsors Austin Baron to combat Doc Wyatt's representative: the Immovable Object, Colossus Rhodes, on loan from Midas Matthews's infamous Golden Touch Promotions. The ramifications on this match might be unequaled on the rest of the card, as Wyatt stakes the next three months of his career on Rhodes's success, while Baron may well be putting his very life at risk. On top of all this, Lanky Lefty McDaniel and the Emergent Inhabitant of the Void, Pantero Negro Jr. meet in a long-awaited grudge match that will surely place either winner in a strong position going forward. --- A few hours later, at 8:00 PM CT, if one wishes to witness the conjunction of more than a hundred years of pugilistic history, All Time Boxing broadcasts ATB #4: Heavyweight Gold! Dempsey, Louis, Ali, Lewis, four names that have represented the apex of heavyweight boxing will fight for the right to claim their stake in the inagural All Time Boxing Heavyweight title in a four man tournament! Thomas "Hitman" Hearns takes on Charley Burley in a Middleweight struggle between offensive power and defensive prowess! And the original, Nonpareil Jack Dempsey takes on the threat of Terence "Bud" Crawford in Lightweight action! This can all be seen on the Senatorial Streaming Service at www.twitch.tv/senatorphillips--- Directly afterwards, stay tuned, as Wacker Drive Revival emerges from the polar vortex with a Cold Snap! Frank Van Sloan of the Action Pack makes his debut against the ever-exciting Phil Mercury! The Massholes venture over from their home of Boston and Warrior Pro to fight the resident Blue Notes of company owner, Big Robert Montgomery and the enigmatic Astro Traveler! Freight Train McMichaelson is ticked off at kickers following the defeat of his beloved Bears, and looks to take it out on Liverpool's own Fred the Red! And Astrid Johannson and Sarita Jean Watkins continue their beef with Valerie May joining the fray in the opener! A solid night of combat, be there, or be square! |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 1, 2019 20:27:33 GMT
A recording from the security footage at Mike Ditka's Restaurant from the previous Saturday:
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Coach of the legendary championship 1985 Chicago Bears and one of the most beloved sporting figures in the city’s history both on the sideline and as a player, “Da Coach” Mike Ditka opened his trademark restaurant and bar in 1997. An upscale venue, filled with memorabilia of gridiron days past and occasionally hosting events featuring old players, it is not the sort of place that you hear endless strings of uninterrupted incoherent profanity. And yet, that is exactly the tumultuous racket that echoed through the establishment on a late Saturday afternoon, resounding over the dulled commentary concerning Los Angeles and New England on the NFL Network broadcast airing over the in-house televisions.
Freight Train McMichaelson: Muther-fuggin-dickkickin-sonovabitch-Parkey-lazy-ass-asshole-bastard-goodfernothin-losing-ass-BASTARD!
Former Bears standout, and Wacker Drive Revival member Frank “Freight Train” McMichaelson was seen with his massive frame engulfing a standard sized bar stool, while longtime friend and WDR/D-Team compatriot “D-Man” Daunte Thomas sat next to him, with the look of jaded exasperation on his face.
Daunte Thomas: Look, man, I get it, it sucks. I’m pissed my Giants are a trash heap. But you see me making a fool out of myself here?
Freight Train: I find that damn fuggin’ rat bastard kicker, I tackle him through a wall! I could have made that kick! Me!
D-Man: Didn’t you line up at that Goose Island event? And miss the kick?
Freight Train: Come on, I got free beers first, and they had a frozen field. That ain’t fair! Nobody kicks like that in the pro game! They call us out there, have us take that kick, least they could do was give us something, you know, to make the field better, like a tent, instead of kicking off the hard ass rock solid frozen ground! This ain’t the Luckman years! And that lazy entitled piece of shit Parkey got paid more than the whole NFL did back then! Can’t even practice, you know, practice at Solider Field like a real pro does! You know all that cold ass wind and shit blowin’ off Lake Michigan makes it tough, but he didn’t even practice there! And he practiced to hit the post! Guess what that means when it matters? He hits the fuggin’ post when it matters, that’s what!
D-Man: Man, calm down.
Undeterred, the Freight Train tries to jump to his feet, but finds himself stuck to his stool and a bit wobbly from his current state of inebriation. Once he does reach his feet, dislodging the stool from his backside, McMichaelson shakes a fist at the tv.
Freight Train: See that! See that shit? That shoulda been us! If it wasn’t for that stupid kicker… I wanna kick his ass! Gimmie any kicker! Hell, those little twerps ain’t football players, they’re, you know, just, uh, glorivied….I dunno whadda hell they are, bud I wanna kick their ass! Gimmie a kicker! Any kicker! You know, a kicker!
D-Man: This, my man, has to STOP!
The entire restaurant, including Freight Train, especially Freight Train, goes dead silent.
D-Man: Look, I get it. Hell, I really get it. But you’re not even just venting now, you’re making yourself look like a wacked out psycho.
Freight Train: Uh…coach always said I was a psycho…
D-Man: You know what? Let me call up Big Bob and see if he can’t hook you up with something that makes this work out.
Freight Train: No Bears, no care. Ruined the Bowl for me, what’s Bob fixing? Nothing! You know, he can’t fix this, nobody’s fixing this because…
D-Man: You are straight up pathetic right now, you hear me? You---are---pathetic!
Freight Train: Wanna-fight-me-wanna-take-it-out-inna-ring?
D-Man: Stop your whining! You want to take it out in the ring? I just got a text back, and Bob’s got you a match for next Friday! Against…a kicker.
Freight Train: I…I feel a bit better. Not a lot better, you know…but a bit better. I’m gonna kick a kicker’s ass! Game time! Let’s do this! Woohoo!
D-Man: And I’m just going to go find another place to drink, far, far away from you…
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Post by LankyLefty17 on Feb 1, 2019 22:52:13 GMT
A video was recently posted on YouTube from a person that found the cell phone of Joey O'Shea, one half of the Massholes... (The video is grainy and bouncing around, it appears to be taken at night outside of a bar potentially) Tommy: Funkingstupi... who kicks out of a baaaar? Joey: Chigaaago isa stupid city. Iss fucking cold. Iss sofucking cold. What arewe doooing here? Tommy: Idiot- we're here to wrestle. Wag Your Driving Rifle thinks wegot POTENTIAL. And we need the beeer money. Joey: Can't believe we got kick out of the bar. BUNCH OF FUCKING COCKSUCKERS! Tommy: The reeeal cocksuckers are those fuckers we match up against. The Blue Balls...er..something. Joey: Hahahahahaha blue balls. What a dumb name. We'regonna fuck....them...u-
(Just then the camera seems to fall out of Joey's hands and onto the ground. The screen is dark but you can vaguely hear both men laughing as they continue to walk)
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 4, 2019 7:17:52 GMT
Results --- Wacker Drive Revival: Cold Snap Friday, February 1st following All Time Boxing at Wacker Drive Revival in Chicago, IL Main Event Frank Van Sloan vs. Phil Mercury  The Uberkicker's debut was fairly impressive, with the Belgian veteran displaying a still-potent level of speed and fluidity in his combinations, landing a ten strike combination at one point and frustrating his foe with an endless string of kicks. However, Phil Mercury demonstrated a level to his game that Van Sloan could not compete with, answering with legwork and a top rope attack, finishing with his trademark Sheer Heart Attack. Massholes vs Blue Notes The Massholes(Tommy O'Malley and Joey O'Shea)(Warrior Pro) vs. The Blue Notes(Big Robert Montgomery and Astro Traveler)  The Massholes were not to be underestimated in this one, fighting as a unified team and putting any doubts to rest to their in-ring coherence. Their arrogance may have been their undoing however, with repeated taunts seeming to egg on the irascible Montgomery, who finished O'Malley with a Chicago Style Lariat. Kick the Kicker! Freight Train McMichaelson vs. Fred the Red  The Freight Train rolled on through, despite taking a Shankley Special and a Ripcord Knee, finishing the Liverpool native in his preferred fashion: with a big (American) football tackle. Triple Threat Elimination Sarita Jean Watkins vs. Valerie May vs. Astrid Johannson  A strong showing from the Three Lions and Queen's Rangers member. Valerie May outworked both her opponents and looked strong in doing so. --- Match of the Night Massholes vs. Blue Notes: Warrior Pro's resident drunkards showed up in a big way, but the Blue Notes answered in defending their turf, both teams came away from this one looking better than they did going into it. Performer of the Night Phil Mercury: A top notch performance from the Superstar Showman, in negating the swift kicks of Frank Van Sloan and answering with his own signature style. |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 6, 2019 3:51:36 GMT
With Lariats and Legislators #7 arriving on Friday, February 8, the Senatorial Office has started its press cycle. Over the next few days, the Office will issue a series of press releases relating to L&L #7.
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Felice Santana: This is awesome! I’m just so happy to come home to the Dominican for such a really big event and represent my family, and I couldn’t ask for a better opponent than Princesa, I mean, me and her came up together in training and she made me better by pushing me every day to be better, so to have this match with her in such an important spot on the show, I can’t ask for much more than that! Maybe a win, hahahaha!
Princesa Torbellina:(In Spanish) <Felice has made a name for herself on Phoenix Rising. That is her place now. But while she has been gone, I have been here in the Senatorial Office, traveling to Texas, fighting right here in the Dominican! I am proving to everyone that I am more beautiful, more skilled, more athletic, that I am very much better than Felice in each and every way.
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El Experto:(In Spanish) <The Grizzly was trained by a man who trained in the legendary Hart Dungeon. But I have received my fighting experience around the world! I learned in Mexico from the great Rey Depredator. I fought the Masked Maniac II across the United States. I feuded for years, yes, years with the peerless Felix Santana Sr. I fought in Japan against Mr. Nobunaga in no holds barred wars! And yes, I even fought in your native Canada, and I beat Wesley Hart, a member of the family you worship! And I have learned from all these matches, from all these opponents from all these regions, nations, continents! So, tell me, Grizzly, do you think that being from Canada makes you superior? Because I am not just a Mexican wrestler, I am an International Luchador! I am a living legend! I am greatness incarnate! I am El Experto!>
Canadian Grizzly: I do not care what El Experto says. Because while he traveled the world, I learned from those who have a lineage to the purest form of technical wrestling in existence! I am Canadian, which makes me a citizen of the greatest nation in the world! Where I come from, professional wrestling is taken seriously! Yes, I have suffered here in the Dominican in recent years, but everything I ever needed to know about wrestling came from Canada! And it's that Canadian heritage that will give me the win over you!
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Felix Santana III: I'm here with the Home Team, with the people who support my family. And while I rode along with the Rudo Army in the past, those days are over. I'll never fit perfectly into the traditional style my grandfather and my father want me to work, but that's cool. I'll interpret it in my own way, and honor their traditions with a twist. And Poison, Macchiato, Megan, you want to get suplexed outta your boots? Step right up!
El Hijo de Macchiato:(In Spanish) <W-w-w-wake up and smell the everlovin' coffee! El Froggy, do you really think you are awake enough to answer the challenge? Margarita Morales, you are a lady of the runway, of the fancy clubs, of the nighttime world, but you are not awake enough for the ring! And Felix III, you were awake before! But now you are as sleepy like a bear in winter! You lack ENERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGY! And the Rudo Army will give you the mother of all wakeup calls!>
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Renate Barlowe: Why do I need to say anything? I already won this match. I don't need to prove a thing. Only thing left to do is to break legs and get paid.
Aoife Daley: The first time I fought Renate, I was calling out that, and I really am understating this, cowardly scumball gobshite wannabe comedian slimebag that goes by the name of Stanford Bradley. He ducked me, and Renate stepped in. That's ok. Short notice fight? I was warmed up, I knew Stanford was going to be too much of a sniveling bitch to face me. So Renate won, I can accept that. But here's the thing; she was prepared that time around. This time, I'm ready for her, too! Renate, I get it, you want to break my leg because you're a merc, that's what you do. I don't take that personally. But I do take it personally that you're straight up stupid enough to attach your name to Stanford Bradley and Midas Matthews! That's just bad business. Because that means you just lit the fuse and jumped in with the Irish Firecracker. And you best be ready when I explode.
The two women leave their respective podium and stare off in the middle of the press room.
Barlowe: Don't bite off more than you can chew.
Aoife: When I see you, I see Stanford Bradley. And I see the games Midas is trying to play.
Barlowe: Don't blame me that your man isn't paying up like my boss has.
Aoife: Don't blame me if I knock your head clean off!
Barlowe: Pretty little girl, you didn't do that the last time.
Daley steps up, inches away from her future opponent.
Aoife: You're right. This isn't last time. And my only regret is that I didn't...
At this point, Anthony Kalb and Tim Dwight step in and separate the two, dismissing them from the conference room, preventing what was almost certainly going to be a regrettable brawl.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 6, 2019 21:12:33 GMT
Lariats and Legislators #7 Press Conferences, Continued
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Lil’ Lariato: I’m stepping up to see who I can potentially be
I’ll put Cowboy down for the pinfall of three
I’ll go to town, I’ll fight carefree
I’ll chop him down like a sycamore tree
Cowboy Johnston: Not bad, fella, not bad at all! Now, ah gotta say, yer one of the good ‘uns! If anyone’s gotta beat me for this here title, ah cain’t think of nobody better for the job than you! Yah see, here in Texas, we’re right proud of folks who ain’t scared o’ gettin’ hit an’ hittin’ back twice as hard. That describes Lariato right on perfect. An’ ah hope that describes me, too! We may not listen to the same stuff, an’ ah know Lariato’s a city man, while ah’ grew up out closer to the open country, but we both got more in common than most do! And one thing ah know I got for Lariato, an’ I know he showed me, was serious, real respect. So don’t you all get caught up tryin’ to stir anythin’ up here, we’ll fight real good for you, but we’re doin’ this the right way! None of that fake stuff here!
Lariato: Just bein’ real here, got the utmost respect for my main man here. Cowboy’s been the top dog for a reason, and nobody’s able to deny that. He gets it. Show respect, deserve respect, get respect. And I’m going to show him just how much admiration I have for him on Friday when I clean his clock with my lariat to take his Lone Star title!
Cowboy: Hah! Ah hope you try! But you an’ me, we both know that ain’t the way it went last time we went mano a mano back in the Stockade! Don’t mean yah cain’t beat me this time, though, so ah gotta give this mah best shot!
Lariato: Truth. But you know what? No matter which way this one goes, I know this much. Me, Cowboy, Hailey, we’re gonna take our shot at those trios belts real soon, you know what I’m sayin?
Cowboy: No doubt about it, no doubt at all!
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The X-Treme Kid: NBNF represent the cutting edge in today’s wrestling world. We evolved when everyone else stayed the same. We trimmed our fat. Now we’re the best in Chicago, we got The Loop, and if you can’t go along with that, we got two words for you!
DUDE Smith: Suck it!
Emerald Santiago: Shut up, DUDE! We’re not supposed to say it, that’s the crowd’s line, come on, you stubborn goat, you’re so blockheaded that they play as you in Minecraft!
DUDE: Uh, I only play Fortnite, what’s Minecraft?
Emerald: Why do I even put up with you? Why are you so…so…dense?
DUDE: I’m not dense! I’m ripped!
XTK: But yeah, Action Pack, you’re a bunch of old farts! You got nothing on us! We’re fresh, rested and ready! We push the limits! Who does everyone watch now? Us! Who does everyone fear? Us! Who runs this show? Us! We’re the Now Generation of pro wrestling, and we’re bringing back the Degeneration! Suck on that!
Ross Malone: Hey yo, X-treme Kid, you think you wanna piece of the Action Pack? Think again, because you don’t just get a loss on your record against us, you don’t just lose that big fancy trophy, but against us, you get hurt, real bad!
Dutch Schwartz: Ahm baack. And when you ask for the Eradicator, you get…eradicated! Do you think you can beat us? Do you think you have what it takes? Maybe I think you do! Or maybe…I lied!
Elle Barrett: You see us, you think we’re too old, too simple. But the simple fact here is that we know how to fight. We know how to win. We know how to survive. We’ve done it for our whole lives. And when things get heated, we’ll stay cool. It’s in our blood, it’s what we’ve trained, it’s who we are. We set out to accomplish things. And we succeed. Do you have that drive? Ask yourself that question. We know what our answer is. Do you know yours?
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Gang Wong: Hello everyone, I am Gang Wong, and they call me Shaolin Superstar. I trained in temple of Shaolin for many years, did movies of martial arts in Hong Kong and I am now ready to win UCSS Openweight title from Thiago Gracie. I have not been here long, but I have one question; why do I speak better English than Thiago already?
Thiago Gracie: Why you put name of Thiago Gracie in your mouth like that? Do you want make Thiago nervous? Or is Gang Wong nervous for have arm broke with perfect jujigatame?
Gang: I am not nervous, I am not excited, I am just ready. Ready to fight, ready to win.
Thiago: No! You no ready for fight! You think you ready, but you no ready! Thiago knows that kung-fu is joke! Gracie Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is only style for guarantee win!
Gang: Why are you angry? I do not insult you. I do not insult Jiu-Jitsu. But you make big, big mistake if you think your style gives you a free win!
Thiago: Nothing free, hard work for gym, hard work for ring, hard work makes Thiago Grandmaster for Armbar! Not because Thiago is Gracie, but because Gracies make sure Thiago work for name, work for Jiu-Jitsu, work for be best! And I show you, Thiago walk away as UCSS Openweight champion!
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Post by joshthejerseyboy on Feb 7, 2019 17:32:14 GMT
Adrien Lawton:
"I know everyone is expecting me to talk shit and to hate on Ramses, but I cant....i just cant. I cant fault the man for his hustle and I cant fault him for being a sure fire winner. Ramses is a great competitor and a great champion and this will be a great match. Now the only mistake he made was thinking he could beat me...but i can correct that attitude this Friday.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 7, 2019 19:43:48 GMT
Lariats and Legislators #7 Press Conference, Conclusion
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Mohammad Ramses: Adrien Lawton is a worthy foe for a Modern Day Pharaoh. Like the warriors of old, he comes from a very dedicated craft. Many say he speaks too much and that his words diminish his accomplishment. I say that he is a proud man who has been misunderstood. He speaks loudly, that is not wrong. But have any of his foes truly suffered for it? He has made his opponents more money by making himself the villain. He has made himself great earnings this way. And he has overcome defeats and adversity in the past in boxing and wrestling by always being a man of interest to the crowds.
Ramses: Adrien Lawton’s way is not the way of Mohammad Ramses. But we all walk our own path. And I am pleased that the day when our paths cross in the ring draws near. I am the Pan African Champion for a reason. I carry the ancient blood of royalty in my veins. I have the willpower to defeat even the most favored opponents. I believe in myself. Adrien Lawton is very strong, he is very good, he is very skilled, and he also believes in himself. But I will not falter in my pursuit of the victory.
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Senator Steve Phillips: This is a match that I should not have wished for. Indeed, I very well should have paid attention to my medical staff and continued to remain out of the ring for a longer period of time, following my match with the Denizen. But there are times when we must all acknowledge that opportunity does not always come at the most advantageous time, that we must not allow the perfect become the enemy of the sufficient and we must not allow the simple cowardice of excusable practicality to overcome the audacity of the necessary risk.
Felix Santana Jr: You are right, Senator! Whatever you just said, you are right! I made a promise that I would not defend this title until Salvador Sosa has returned to action, that I would protect it until he got his rightful place back in Santana Family Wrestling! But this is too good a chance to pass up, and we will take this! We can take my company back for good and send that giant packing! And then I can again wait to defend my title against Salvador.
Senator: The crux of the matter for us here is that I must put myself at risk. Midas wants me gone at any cost. He will certainly have instructed Colossus Rhodes to set his sights on obliterating me. But it would be in our favor if I am the focal point of their attack. For in that case, should I be unfortunate enough to fall in defeat, you would yet retain your title.
Felix Junior: I know, I know, maybe I have been hit in the head too much over the last two decades, but let me work this out again. We win, I’m good. They pin you, Dominican Golden Championship goes nowhere. They beat me, I lose the gold to whoever did it. So the legendary Dominican Golden Championship that was created by my grandfather Roberto, that could end up around the waist of…Julio Rivera?
Senator: Only if we make the most grievous of errors.
Felix Junior: And they have nothing on the line? Doesn’t seem fair.
Senator: As you previously stated, we will humiliate Midas by extension, and by immediate effect, Colossus Rhodes. We shall ensure his misery and set an irreparable seam within the ranks of Golden Touch Promotions by thwarting their efforts.
Felix Junior: I have one last question, Midas, he didn’t show up here? Not that I would complain! But where is that snake?
Senator: He and I agreed on something for once. We agreed that his presence here would be entirely superfluous to the integrity of these proceedings. He, I believe, wishes merely to observe this one from a distance, and from what I understand, refuses to travel to the Dominican Republic for the show. All is well, and Felix, rest assured that we will be more than ready and that we will have more than enough to defeat our two opponents, formidable as they may seem. Yes, that, my friend, is nothing…but the truth.
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Tomas the Tiny Giant: tomas tried to do this before. the tiny giant seemed to succeed but did not succeed when the senator made the tiny giant fight a second time on the same night so that the ston of john could be his winner. BUT THIS TIME, THERE IS NO COUNTOUT EXCUSE AND TOMAS WILL BEAT THE SUPREMELY BLAZING ORB OF AFRICA TO FINALLY BE THE REAL FACE OF THE OFFICE!
Jean-Pierre Mutombo: Excuse me por une minute, let me reintroduce myself. For I am no longer just Jean-Pierre, the African Supersensation! No! I am now a man of reinvention! I am now a Man of Unity! Because it is not just enough to wrestle in the wrestling ring, and it is not just enough to make the people happy! In these times, I, Jean-Pierre believe it is now my responsibility to be a person who brings people together, I will heal divisions and I will replace hatred with good will wherever I go! And I will make this my first demonstration!
JPM: Mr. Tomas was one time, a very angry man! He had hate in his heart! He joined the terrible, terrifying Harbingers of Death! And he did very bad things! But now, I see that Mr. Tomas can see a different side of himself. He no longer fights for hatred of the people who held him back. No, now Tomas will fight for the love of his Philadelphia, for the joy he gets from his violence, and for the adrenaline that smashing those poor, poor light tubes brings him!
Tomas: tomas cannot disagree with that, no…that makes sense to me. THE TINY GIANT LOVES ALL THOSE THINGS!
JPM: See? You see! I am the Man of Unity! And I wish to channel all that aggression of yours, Mr. Tomas, into a wondrous match of blood and cheers and the joy of the Democratic Republic of Congo which I hope can cast off the shadow of Joseph Kabila, and the joy of Philadelphia, which has supported its wrestlers for so very long! And we will fight for the Senatorial Office, and for my treasured role as the Number One that allows me so much ability to bring about unity!
Tomas: you sound too happy, but TOMAS WILL END THAT WHEN HE TAKES YOUR PLACE! and then the jay pee emm will become the dee ohhh ayyy because YOU WILL BE CRUSHED SO BADLY THAT THEY WILL SCRAPE YOU OFF THE RING!
JPM: Now that is the spirit of the fight! I will see you in the ring!
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 8, 2019 20:24:40 GMT
After going back and forth, I'm running tonight, even though there's a AAA show tonight. Might try to watch that out of the corner of my eye, because there's no way I'm missing all of that. Plus, there's another AAA show on Sunday night so I'll surely catch that one. --- The dictionary definition of Skirmish speaks of smaller fights...but ZIP Japan brings a battle of epic proportions to Saitama Skirmish at 7:00 PM CT, on the ZIP Channel www.twitch.tv/therealdenizenTeam Fighting Spirit regained the ZIP Tag Titles at Festival of Violence, defeating Blue Destiny to recover their place on top of the division. However, Pure HEEL went through hellfire and brimstone to overcome Green Crush several weeks later, and now stand to do the same against the current champions! ZIP Man has taken grasp of the Junior Heavyweight division after winning the Super Z Cup, but will his leg baring attire be a match for the peerless boots(and thrilling high flying ability) of Yutaro Ichikawa? Want to watch people hit each other really hard? Then see who wins the #1 Contendership for the ZIP Heavyweight title as the Ironhead, Maki Yoshida, the Eternal King of Throws, Mr. Suplex and the Cruel Tyrant, Mad Bomber meet to determine who takes a shot at the Botswanan Assassin, Thunder Fist! The women will not be left off the top side of the card(and Hana will always make sure of that), as Suki ZIP looks to take ownership of her family's company in the ring defeating the deceptively dangerous Momoe Ito! Of course, this would not be a ZIP card without an outstanding undercard and a tantalizing look back into the past, with Genki Raiga vs. Crusher Kodo from 2000 finding its way out of the vault, a big time Junior Heavy Elimination bout including four! former champions, Storm of the Century clashing with Green Crush, a Manichean battle between Yumi Yamaguchi and Aya Mizuno, as well as Jin Matsuda and Demon Otsu, and much, much more! Be there to witness the true glory of battle as only ZIP Japan can provide! --- And if you've not traveled to Mazatlan with AAA Lucha Libre at this point(and I would not blame anyone who did), then stick around afterwards for one of the biggest Office shows of the year, as Lariats and Legislators #7 arrives in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic! Jean-Pierre Mutombo defends his #1 Ranking position against PEWA Extreme champion Tomas in what should be a battle of two titanic characters, Felix Santana Junior puts his prized title on the line in a tag match alongside Senator Steve Phillips against Colossus Rhodes and Julio Rivera, the Money Man, Adrien Lawton travels over again from AAW, this time to take on Pan African Champion, Mohammad Ramses, Thiago Gracie defends the UCSS Openweight title against the Shaolin Superstar, Gang Wong, the Action Pack debuts to challenge for The Loop against X-Treme Kid's NBNF, Cowboy Johnston and Lil' Lariato fight the friendly fight for the TIPWF Lone Star title, all this, Aoife Daley, Canadian Grizzly and so much more! Check it out on the Senatorial Streaming Service at www.twitch.tv/senatorphillips |
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Post by LankyLefty17 on Feb 8, 2019 20:46:37 GMT
Ugh, sadly I'm gonna miss this one as something has come up and likely wont be around. But this card is so good, I'll absolutely be checking the VOD tomorrow morning. Let it be known though, JPM will be conquering the Hardcore Giant, Santana's belt will be around Julio Rivera's waist, Ramses beats up Lawton (Match of the night. Also #fuckyoulawton), and Cowboy keeps his belt. Top to bottom there isn't a weak match, this will be more fun that AAA... |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 8, 2019 21:16:16 GMT
Let's see how those picks turn out, Lefty! Of course, no set of predictions would be compete without Fast Eddie's input:  Fast Eddie’s Quick Picks for Lariats & Legislators #7By “Fast” Eddie Edison
We have a big time event down in the Dominican this Friday, but the one thing that’s been missing up until now, has been a set of my picks! There’s something for just about everyone on this card, and there were some really tough picks. But as a professional in the industry, I did the hard work, so you don’t have to! Now, without wasting anybody’s time at this late hour, here we go. Senatorial Office #1 Ranking Bout Jean-Pierre Mutombo(c) vs. Tomas the Tiny Giant JPM has become the Man of Unity, and I think, has stepped up his game about three levels. And that takes him at least two and a half levels above Tomas, and perhaps two full levels over Cowboy Johnston, but either way, that means he comfortably dances his way out of this one with his #1 status still attached. Santana Family Wrestling: Dominican Golden Championship Bout Felix Santana Jr.(c) and Senator Steve Phillips vs. The Immovable Object Meets the Irresistible Force (Colossus Rhodes and Julio Rivera)I’m not trying to figure this one out. I’m just saying that the Immovable Object is too big and bad to lose, especially when he has Juliooooooooooooooooooooooooo.(ed. sorry) to keep him fresh when he needs a rest. Pan African Wrestling vs. AAW Mohammad Ramses vs. Adrien Lawton(AAW)I’m a simple man. I see AAW talent, I pick their side. And Lawton, reprehensible as he may be, even to the point of attacking me backstage, is very, very talented. So much as I hate it, I vote for him! UCSS Openweight Title Bout Thiago Gracie(c) vs. Gang WongI was watching a marathon of Shaw Brothers movies last night. So I’m thinking the Shaolin Superstar takes this. But then again, I want to go eat at a Brazilian steakhouse this weekend…tough calls… Wacker Drive Revival: The Loop Championship Bout NBNF(c)(The X-Treme Kid, DUDE Smith and Emerald Santiago) vs. The Action Pack(Ross Malone, Dutch Schwartz and Elle Barrett)Come on, anyone who knows me knows that I’m not voting against two guys who resemble Stallone and Ahnold. Never, ever. TIPWF Lone Star Heavyweight Championship Bout Cowboy Johnston(c) vs. Lil’ LariatoGood as Cowboy is, Lariato has so much more to prove here, and I think he steps up in a big way for his biggest win yet! UCSS Rules Grudge Match ”Irish Firecracker” Aoife Daley vs. “Mercenary in Exile” Renate BarloweThis is going to be ugly. Really ugly. And I don’t like seeing legs get broken…hah, who am I kidding, I love seeing brutality in the ring! So Renate Barlowe wins this, and wins by inflicting a terrible injury and we’re all going to watch that clip over and over again. Home Team vs. Rudo Army El Froggy Mask, Felix Santana III and Margarita Morales vs. Poison Froggy Mask, El Hijo De Macchiato and Megan Chabot Froggy and Felix III are two of the Santana’s best, and I think they make the difference here, EFM is popular for a reason and Felix III is super dangerous if he gets some momentum. El Experto vs. Canadian Grizzly Let me note here that I wanted to pick the Grizzly, badly. But I have to go with Experto because he’s simply better overall. Watch CanGrizz win this, and while I’ll have led everyone down the wrong path, I’ll be happy because the guy I wanted to win took the win! Princesa Torbellina vs. Felice SantanaFelice is doing really well with her career right now, I think she’s just a bit better than Princesa. And there you have it! The picks you wanted at the speed you need! This is “Fast” Eddie Edison, signing off! |
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