This is it! The big one! Lariats and Legislators is here to close out the year with the biggest single night card of the year for the Senatorial Office!
Lariats and Legislators 2022: End Year Lariats
8:00 PM (CT) on December 30th at Club Minos in Atlantic City, NJ
Main Event: Senatorial Office Number One Ranking Bout
Jean-Pierre Mutombo(C) vs. Tarkhan the Mangler
-The absolute best in the world in 2022, Jean-Pierre Mutombo came back from a hiatus to reclaim his status, defeating top level opponents with a startling ease. Meanwhile, in Sakura Pro, the Worldwide Conquest stable made waves, winning every championship they could get their hands on, with the Monsterous Mongolian, Tarkhan the Mangler finally living up to his vast potential, obliterating his opposition in the Grand Prix with a true sense of purpose. Although the Mangler holds no gold within the Office, and has dropped his top prize in Sakura Pro at this point, there is no doubt that there is no more worthy of a person to push the Man of Unity to his own limits. There is every expectations that both of these fierce competitors will waste no time in trying to close out, and however long it lasts, this one could well be a proper artillary duel in the main event. Whoever is left standing will remain the face of the Senatorial Office, and perhaps be considered the very best in the world.
Tarkhan the Mangler: Long I have waited! But it is now time that the descendent of Genghis Khan conquers the Senatorial Office! It is my destiny! It is the destiny of Worldwide Conquest to rule wherever we are! I was born for this! I was born to stand astride the world! And Jean-Pierre Mutombo will know what it is like to be mangled!
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Jean-Pierre Mutombo: Greetings and salutations, people of the world! It is I, Jean-Pierre and I am very much happy to be speaking to you on this day! For it is the end of this year and I have been able to keep my promise to all of you that I once again can make you proud and reward all of your support that you have all shown me for so very long! This is not something I did on my own! These have been your wins, your energy gave me the power to become the best me that I can be! Let the doubters eat their words with a side of cassava and peanut butter, because we proved them wrong for good!
JPM: Now they say I am the greatest of all time, but no, I will not let these words change me! I do not listen to the people who try to stir things up, because they do not have the genuine opinion! They do not have the genuine connection! They are not the fans, the honest people! They are just the talking heads, and I do not care for their empty praise and I do not let them drag me down with their words of venom!
JPM: But I do need all of you to help me now more than ever! I am fighting for nothing but to defend where I am now at! And I have a very big target on my back! It is so big that Tarkhan the Mangler sees it! And I have seen what the Mangler can do! He is a very, very, very dangerous man! He drops knees on your head and crushes it like a watermelon on a highway! He crushes your neck on his giant shoulder! He should scare anyone who he is going to fight! But I am not scared of Tarkhan! I am scared of letting all of you down!
JPM: This is a game of danger, a brutal sport! I know very well that every time I go out there, it gives me much to be your champion, but it takes something from me, too. This is no joke. But I know this, I accept it, and I embrace it! I give of myself to entertain you, to represent you as the African Supersensation, as the Man of Unity! I, Jean-Pierre will put my life on the line for all of you who trust me with your time and your emotions! And I will not leave that ring unless I walk away as the Number One...or they carry me away! This is my promise to you!
PEWA Extreme Championship Bout
The Hindu Sheik(C) vs. Hideo Kawabata(Realm of Wrestling)
-One of the greatest hardcore wrestlers in the history of the sport, the Hindu Sheik is not just a monsterous force, but has put on some of the best matches of the prior year in the PEWA. Just when it seemed that there was no threat to his reign on the horizon, a challenge was issued from outside. Hailing from the Realm of Wrestling, Hideo Kawabata has a love of staple guns shared by the PEWA President, Bodybreaker Brown and has been nothing short of a sensation in his own right. While the Sheik's storied career has seen him surpass nearly every roadblock he could find, becoming the first ever CAWF Heavyweight champion, a PEWA Extreme champ, and a pillar on the independent scene, Kawabata presents a new and hazardous opportunity to add another name to his resume. For Kawabata himself, this win could be a true capstone on his own surging career, a top tier win to put the world on notice. Whichever way this match goes, expect nothing short of pure violence and grit from both competitors.
Sylvain "Pay Day" Mint: As the head of Pay Day Enterprises, it is my duty to speak for the Hindu Sheik. Now, I don't usually open up about my advisory role to the people who entrust me. But I think I should share a little bit here. I've told the Sheik that he's already done everything he could do in the game. I've told him that he needs to know that if he takes another match that he should make it worth his while, after all, a Hindu Sheik match isn't just another throwaway bout, it's a featured attraction. The Sheik's been a champion across multiple companies, he's been diving through tables and barbed wire since before he could legally drink. He doesn't need to beat anyone to prove anything. And yet. Hideo Kawabata. An man who's hungry, on the way up. That's the name that the Sheik brought up to me. He told me that even though he's beaten so many top names, that he hasn't beaten Kawabata, and until he does that, he's not satisfied with anything, not with his career, not with his reign, nothing.
Mint: I had to ask why the Sheik felt so strongly, and he told me that Kawabata is going to be the next big sensation on the hardcore scene over the next decade, and he told me that if he can get a win over him now, that he will be able to look back at that years from now and it will mean that much more once Hideo truly becomes everything he's ready to be. So I did my part, I negotiated the contract for the Sheik, with the PEWA, with the Realm of Wrestling, and we're going to see the present and the future cross paths. We'll see the Hindu Sheik bring all his legacy to the ring, all his hundo matches, his long list of victories against some of the best ever to wrestle. And we'll see Kawabata bring his staple gun, his hunger and his potential, too. This is a formula for one of the biggest matches the PEWA has ever seen, with a history that spans across the wrestling world. I know the Sheik's ready for this. I'm sure that Kawabata is. Now the only question is now, are you, the fans ready? I hope so.
Victorious Medal Championship Bout
Fresh Fuji(Rose Garden) vs. Ibrahim Rahman vs. Kojiro Burai(Phoenix Rising)
-Fresh Fuji shocked the world when he pinned Kojiro Burai to become the holder of the Victorious Medal, but now the Funky Fresh superstar of Sakura Pro will not only have a return threat from Burai, but the technical mastery of the Tunisian Nomad, Ibrahim Rahman to contend with. Fuji's supernova popularity and exceptional skills may well be up for the test, but a motivated, on form Burai is as fearsome a threat as anyone in the business and Ibrahim Rahman has made a name for himself bringing matches to an abrupt conclusion with his wide variety of pins. This match could well be an absolute nightmare for the sportsbooks.
UCSS Openweight Championship Bout
Andronicus Turner(C) vs. Mallory Spaulding(Phoenix Rising) vs. Hakim Fields vs. Sanem Becker
-Once again on top of his throne, the Kronk Legacy, Andronicus Turner has arrived at the point where a standard challenge simply ceased to provide any interest. Instead, Turner now faces the his rightful opponent, Sanem Becker of the Big Banter Brand, along with Becker's recent rival, Mallory Spaulding, looking to pick up a belt to add to her Pure Gold collection and the former champion, Hakim Fields, who has been a rising threat since returning to action. Turner's wicked flurries have proven inescapable in his current UCSS run, but three grappler foes in a multi-person enviornment should prove to be the toughest challenge to date for the boxer.
Steve Phillips vs. Raven Brighid(Blue Thunder Pro)
-A match that was once scheduled for a filler match on a regular event has turned into a grand tour over the last third of the year for Steve Phillips and has built from a random challenge between friendly rivals to a titanic confrontation between two organizational founders in the Critical Alliance. Raven Brighid's explosive high energy brawling style and Phillips's mix of precision striking and skilled grappling could well end up stealing the show.
Steve Phillips: To all my constituents out across the land, I offer my sincere wishes that you and yours were able to take full advantage in enjoying this holiday season. While I no longer hold the right to speak unilaterally for the Senatorial Office, I do not believe it would be unforward for me to state that we are all pleased to aid and assist in helping you close out the year of two thousand and twenty two with Lariats and Legislators.
Phillips: This Friday, I shall finally find myself facing a formidable foe for whom I have long has a deep resevoir of respect. Some have questioned my recent serries of bouts against the talent of Blue Thunder Wrestling and the QTWA, casting aspersions upon my motives in facing such a wide crossection of the promotion's grapplers. Rest assured, however, I have indeed used this connection as an opportunity to further provide chances and exposure for grapplers whom I deeply believe have deserved it.
Phillips: From the moment I founded this Senatorial Office, I have always sought to find underutilized, underserved and undercapitalized markets for professional wrestling. Whether it was assisting in the formation of Universal Combat Shoot Style to bridge the gaps between the martial arts within the pro wrestling sphere, or taking a part in the founding of Pan African Wrestling to bring the sport at a high level to an audience and a talent base that has thus benefitted, I believe firmly that the Office can both be profitable and a positive element in society, bringing a diverse crossection of cultures and nationalities together in a celebration of our shared love of the fight. And with Blue Thunder Pro, I see another promotion that also finds a similar value in finding new communities to focus upon in our sport. This is why I set up my set of matches over these last number of months, and this is why I am quite excited to be on the precipice of a match with Raven Brighid.
Phillips: Now, having issued a plethora of compliments and plaudits towards Raven and Blue Thunder, let me make myself abundantly clear. I do not intend to go into this match simply to drop a fall! I seek victory as I always do. After all, I could hardly hold my head high if I found myself on the wrong end of the results against someone who was once pinned by Dave Doolittle, after all...
Phillips: I jest, that I do, but in all seriousness, let it be said that I have not neglected my training and I shall not endeavor to bring anything but my very best against Ms. Brighid on this Friday. Anything less would result in my obliteration, as I am certain that Ms. Brighid will be nothing short of motivated herself, and to underestimate such a capable foe would be a terrible folly. I know if I try to prove my toughness in a brawl, that I may live to regret it. And yet...how can I turn down the chance to go toe to toe with such a foe? I may have to revert to my grappling abilities, but the prospects of surviving and even thriving against one of the best pure fighters in the business? That is tantalzying, for certain. But know this as well, Ms. Brighid, when you do set foot into the ring, you enter the squared circle with the roughest, toughest, most intelligent son of a gun in our business, you will deal with the newsmaker, headline breaker, office taker, world shaker, you will deal with the Senator Emeritus, Steve Phillips, and I believe that we should aim for nothing short of a match for the ages! I know that you are capable, and I believe that I am, as well, and that, my friends, is nothing...but the truth.
Doc Wyatt(Warrior Pro) vs. Stanford Bradley
-With Morgan "Midas" Matthews taking a big step back from his personal involvement in Office business, Stanford Bradley has been absent as well, and few have complained in the interim. Looking to involve himself once again, Bradley decided to put a challenge out, surprisingly deciding to challenge one of the rare active individuals who could be considered on the short list for the greatest in the world, none other than Warrior Pro's well-dressed, outspoken, ever-resourceful legend, Doc Wyatt. Stanford's endless bag of tricks have done well to make up for his lack of refined wrestling skills, but in this case, he finds himself not just against someone who can wrestle circles around him, but can also match him in bending the rules as well. And yet, with Stanford Bradley involved...anything could happen.
Stanford Bradley: Look, people say Stanford Bradley's got no business in the ring these days. They say that the Mighty Stanford's struck out, never made it to the plate, never belonged in the stadium, hell, you know what they say? You really wanna know what all the people say? Yeah, neither do I.
Stanford: Some of you Stanfordaholics have been wondering just where I've been holed up, if I got dumped in the clink or if I went on a quest to find myself in the desert or something...but seriously, I can find myself every time I look in the mirror, it ain't rocket science, alright! Look, Midas took a step back, so I took a step back too, because wrestling in the Office without Midas and his megabucks opportunities around is like going to a nightclub at ten in the morning, like playing penny ante in poker. It just ain't worth my while! So I've been knocking around, doing my thing in the comedy world, and, really, I'm bored. So I called up the Office's office, knowing they have some big hullabaloo every year around this time, and they told me they got nuthin. Zip, zero, nada, goose egg. They told Stanford Bradley that they didn't have any ideas for him! No match, unless I found a match! Can you believe that?
Stanford: So what I did, is I looked at the World Wrestling Daily Digest home page. I saw the button you click to subscribe to their big insider deal, and I made sure I made that go away with my adblock. I saw Digital Dave's ugly mug, and I also blocked that picture, too. And then I found what I was looking for, I found the top current wrestler list that they compiled through hard work, too much whiskey and a dart board. And on that list, I decided to follow suit. I copied the top ten names, I printed them off, I cut them out, I taped them together, I hung them on my wall, and I...nah, I didn't do that kinda work, I just closed my eyes and pointed at my screen, and you know what came up?
Stanford: Betty Black Trunks, that's what. Nah, seriously, I pointed right at some big shot looking douchebag called Doc Wyatt. You know, I almost picked again, because I haven't been to the doctor's in three years, and as a matter of general principal, when I'm not sick, I don't go where sick people all go, but then I realized that this buffoon thinks he's some ye ole western sorta doc, not some MD doc or some crazy cryogenically frozen Soviet Doc Q sort, so I figured, you know, I don't give two shits about who I face, as long as I can show my face, but really, who ever gives someone two shits? I mean, if you got two shits, what're you gonna do with them? And why would you hold onto them or give them to someone? Are we farmers? Are we janitors? What the hell are we doing with two shits? But anyway, yeah, I called the Office's office back up, and they told me, it's on like Donkey Kong, Stanford Bradley, Doc Wyatt, for all the marbles. And I don't plan on losing any of my marbles...I got a serious collection, alright?
UCSS Tag Team Championship Bout
American Apex(Keith Van Horne and Lamont Aldren)(Wrestle Parade)(C) vs. Bunch'a Amateurs(Zak Hayes and Cody Sheppard)(Butterfloor)
-The gold standard of today's tag team scene, American Apex have upped the ante for the UCSS tag division since Guts and Glory rolled in. With UCSS's successful venture to upgrade their tag division in 2022, Butterfloor's Bunch'a Amateurs have also been a standout duo, having overcome prior champions, Thiago Gracie BJJ to earn a shot at the Apex. Expect high level matwork, superb suplexes and heated competition between these two squads.
Dominican Golden Championship Bout
El Hijo de Macchiato(C) vs. El Hijo del Sapo(Rose Garden)
-The surprise win by Macchiato over Doctor Dorado was one of the feel-good moments of 2022 in the Office with the long time backbone of the Rudo Army finally able to find the spotlight after supporting so many big names for so long. With a search for a new challenger, El Hijo de Sapo of Sakura Pro was able to best Layla Al-Amin to earn a shot at the former Santana Family Wrestling crown jewel. Both Macchiato and Sapo are known for a heavier hitting style of lucha libre, and with the Golden Championship up for grabs, there is no doubt that this one will be a power struggle.
TIPWF Lone Star Trios Championship Bout
The New Roland Chang Trio(Roland Chang Jr, Roland Chang III and Annie Chang with Roland Chang Sr.) vs. Exotico World Order(Valentina Verda, Vice Versa and Martina Martinez)
-The endless feud between the Chang family(but mostly Roland Junior) and the Exotico World Order continues here, with the New Roland Chang Trio defending the TIPWF Lone Star Trios belts against their old rivals. With Annie Chang having replaced Roland Senior in the lineup, the Changs have been a force in the Trios division, dethroning La Familia to claim the belts, but the EWO have gone on a streak of their own to earn their shot. The Changs present a triple threat of Roland III's blistering power, Roland Junior's classic brawling and Annie's hardcore stylings, a formidable combination to go up against the unorthodox technicality of the Exoticos.
Preliminary Main Event
"The Opening Attraction" Priya Mallaya(Phoenix Rising) vs. "The King of the Openers" G.P. Christopher
-While GPC has long been seen as the undisputed King of the Openers in his dedication to maximizing the value in the first match of the night, Phoenix Rising's Priya Mallaya has been catching eyes, not just with her beauty, but with her rapidly increasing ring skills in a long run of opening matches on her own turf. Now, these two will kickstart End Year Lariats with what promises to be a spectacular showdown.
G.P. Christopher: Been looking forward to this one for a bit. I can always appreciate someone who sees the same value in the Preliminary Main that I do. I think of my man, the Emerald Emperor, Kaito Arai, he might not be as dedicated as me, but he showed everyone for a while why it means something to be the first impression of the night for the fans. And truthfully, it's a short list out there, because, no matter how much work I put in, most people still don't get why the start of the show is the most important part of the whole deal.
GPC: But there is one person out there right now who's right on my level when it comes to the Preliminary Main. And that's Priya Mallaya. She's been busting it over in Phoenix Rising, rising up the ranks, but holding down her spot on the card, showing everybody what's up. And she and I worked pretty well as a team a few weeks back, I think. But when it comes to the King of the Openers, there's always gotta be that final test. Priya, you want to be the next big deal, launching the show off the ground? Bring your best, and see if you can knock the crown off my head. Let's see what the Opening Attraction's got to offer.
