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Post by Senator Phillips on Feb 6, 2019 4:32:59 GMT
Entertainment - A terrible stand up comic performs a series of depressing gigs and travels around the Mojave desert. It's long, boring scenes of of cringe inducing awkwardness punctuated by intentionally wretched jokes. Scores a point for a few nice landscape shots of the wasteland that is the American Southwest...however, this is essentially the director masturbating on screen for 90 minutes, daring you to turn it off. Ironically, there is nothing approaching any type of "entertainment" in this feature. 1/10
A Quiet Place - In a world almost completely depopulated by blind monsters with super sensitive hearing, a family struggles to survive in utter silence. It's an intriguing if utterly ridiculous premise (no one in this family ever sneezes or farts, apparently), but the film's internal logic is consistent and the acting performances are universally solid. The trick that they eventually used to defeat the monsters seemed really obvious though, so it seems pretty unlikely that no one thought of it before 99% of the population got wiped out. Still, not a bad little horror flick. 7/10
I am thinking your review of "Entertainment" brought more of the titular sensation to this topic than the actual film brought to you. Was Stanford Bradley the star of that abomination? |
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 6, 2019 5:05:56 GMT
lol. Entertainment stars a guy called Gregg Turkington, doing his actual standup act. The guy performs under the name Neil Hamburger and he bills himself as anti-comedy....which he surely is. Apparently the guy has been doing this act in real life for over 20 years.
He wears thick glasses, has a bad combover, and routinely clutches 2 or 3 cocktails while he performs. He exaggeratedly clears his throat between every bad joke. A sample of his material: "Why don't rapists eat at TGIFridays? It's hard to rape on an upset stomach." or this gem "What's the difference between a swimming pool and Courtney Love? It's not appropriate to urinate in a swimming pool."
While I get that there is a hipster set out there who think it's funny to laugh ironically at this type of stuff, it boggles my mind that this guy has carved out a lengthy career for himself doing this act.
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 7, 2019 22:43:18 GMT
Mongol - This biopic of Genghis Khan was intended to be the first of a trilogy, but the subsequent films were never made, leaving this as a cursory examination of his youth which ends right as his military campaign was beginning. Rather than delving into the complexities of clan politics, it glosses over the building of his army and presents a fairly basic love story instead. Thankfully, it's interspersed with several scenes of extremely bloody combat to make up for this obvious shortcoming. 6.5/10
Ghost in the Shell - A cybernetic anti-terrorist agent discovers that her origins may not be as she remembers them. I have zero familiarity with the manga or anime, so I may be way off base here, but it seems to share a ton of similarities with Robocop. Of course, it lacks any of Robocop's hyperviolent action, sharp satire or subtler character moments. It does have some nice cyberpunk eye candy, with a script dumber than a box of rocks. Just enough cool stuff to make a sweet looking trailer, but that's about it. 5.5/10
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 10, 2019 4:04:45 GMT
The Iceman - Biopic about Richard Kuklinski, a hitman who worked for the New York mob for over 20 years, racking up a huge body count. Like several other films featuring Michael Shannon, he is the best thing floating in a sea of mediocrity. It's a perfectly serviceable mobster flick that hits all the right notes, but doesn't really do anything unexpected or interesting with the material. Shannon's performance is really the only thing to see here...oh, and David Schwimmer getting whacked by Robert Davi. 6.5/10
Blue Ruin - A quiet, contemplative revenge movie about a homeless guy going after the family responsible for the deaths of his parents. Instead of being the typical Hollywood badass angel of vengeance spouting one liners and effortlessly dispatching his enemies, the protagonist is a weak and sentimental fool who barely knows how to work a gun. By disassociating the hero with all standard heroic tropes, there's nothing left but raw emotion and buckets of blood. Great lead performance. Fatalistic as hell. 8/10
Stop the Bitch Campaign - Silly adaptation of a manga about a pair of perverts out to rip off a group of schoolgirl prostitutes who were ripping off their clients. Ultra cheap and sleazy, with not much to recommend it unless you really need to see Kenichi Endo's naked ass. The best thing about this flick is the rockin' soundtrack by psychedelic punkers Gyogun Rend's...and of course the opening credits which were written in lipstick on the bouncing body parts of naked girls filmed mid-coitus. That was pretty inspired. 5/10
Graveyard of Honor - Violent dramatized version of the life of Rikio Ishikawa, a prominent (and psychopathic) yakuza in Tokyo in the years following WWII. It's a fairly routine outing from Kinji Fukasaku, featuring his trademark hand held camera, frenetic action scenes and a typically intense performance from leading man Tetsuya Watari. Though it fails to rise to the level of their later collaboration Yakuza Graveyard, it does a great job of evoking the chaos and desperation of the post-war era in Japan. 7.5/10
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 13, 2019 4:44:37 GMT
Hebi musume to hakuhatsuma (The Snake Girl and the Silver Haired Witch) - Daiei adaptation of a manga about a young girl named Sayuri (who erroneously believed she was an orphan) being reunited with her birth family, only to discover all sorts of wacky supernatural shit going on in their house. The horror elements are fairly tame, but for a black and white feature it conjures up some decidedly effective sequences of weird surrealism, mostly in the form of Sayuri's vivid dreams. Her plucky determination and will to survive is matched only by the depth of her dimples. 5/10
Teenage Hitchhikers - The sexual misadventures of a couple of hippie chicks hitchhiking around the country, hustling their asses and ripping people off left and right to keep the party going. Everything that isn't a softcore sex scene is painfully awful humor laden with bad puns and groan inducing slapstick. The only saving grace is the fact that one of girls gets naked every few minutes or so, and there's a big old fashioned orgy at the end. Tons of butts, boobs and bush, but nothing of any substance. 3/10
Kunoichi ninpo: Kannon biraki (Female Ninjas: In Bed With The Enemy) - A trio of sassy lady ninjas are sent on a mission to recover a chest of stolen shogunate gold. This is exploitation sleaze done right, mixing a few decent fight scenes with a bunch of weird sex and novelty lady ninja tricks (like the power to sever a penis with the strength of vaginal muscles alone). In between all the boobs and blood, they even manage to squeeze in a competent if cliche tragic love story. Packs a hell of a lot into a lean and mean 66 minute run time. A worthy flick. 7.5/10
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 7:39:01 GMT
Yo has anyone seen White Zombie from 1938??
I think I may watch it on YT because it's legit the first ever zombie film.
Oh and if you guys / girls can you should watch Wyrmwood it's like Mad Max meets zombies and it's an Aussie film :).
And also Road Wars from 2015 I grabbed it off YT haha, it was a real budget remake of Mad Max.
Since YT converting is legal since 2017 when YT themselves said it.
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 13, 2019 12:15:18 GMT
White Zombie is actually from 1932.
Here's my review: Very slow paced zombie version of Dracula, with Bela Lugosi once again playing the mesmerizing foreigner using his monstrous powers to seduce an innocent woman. Not much in the way of a proper script here, but some of the shots and wipe transitions are very imaginative. Lugosi mostly carries the picture with an intense, menacing glare (in extreme closeup). 5.5/10
In short, it's not bad, but don't expect tons of carnage or a big zombie apocalypse. It's very much the voodoo version of zombies, not the undead brain eating type. :)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2019 5:36:51 GMT
White Zombie is actually from 1932. Here's my review: Very slow paced zombie version of Dracula, with Bela Lugosi once again playing the mesmerizing foreigner using his monstrous powers to seduce an innocent woman. Not much in the way of a proper script here, but some of the shots and wipe transitions are very imaginative. Lugosi mostly carries the picture with an intense, menacing glare (in extreme closeup). 5.5/10 In short, it's not bad, but don't expect tons of carnage or a big zombie apocalypse. It's very much the voodoo version of zombies, not the undead brain eating type. :) Thanks man.
Sound interesting I might catch it on YT one night when I am board from doing some edits.
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 15, 2019 5:02:51 GMT
Bankaku Rokku - It's all out war between two rival girl gangs in Tokyo. It's a pretty standard Girl Boss flick, with plenty of catfights, boobs, funky outfits and rockin' music courtesy of greaseball Japanese rockabilly band Carol. It's not bad at all, but it doesn't really compare to the similar films featuring more recognizable stars like Reiko Ike or Miki Sugimoto. That being said, the main actress here does a solid job, pulling off a combination of beauty, ferocity and hopelessness with bloody aplomb. 7/10
Kurutta kajitsu (Crazed Fruit) - A working class guy/part time criminal falls for a cute girl who turns out to be a spoiled rich brat. Part of Nikkatu's Roman Porno series of pink films, the plot of this is ridiculous but is of little consequence. There's a bunch of hot girls and kinky sex scenes every few minutes to distract you from the silliness of the story. The main chick is borderline psychopathic, and all of the bloody conflict that eventually arises from her affair with the guy is 100% her fault. Bitches be crazy. 5.5/10
Werewolf in a Women's Prison - During a werewolf attack, a man is butchered and his girlfriend infected with lycanthropy, and she ends up in jail for his murder. Direct to video schlocker that delivers as advertised. The actresses (including a couple of porn stars) are uniformly terrible, but they all get naked a bunch to pass the time between werewolf attacks. The rampages are trashy fun, with fake blood and entrails spewing everywhere and the werewolf costume looks extremely goofy. I bet this was a blast to make. 6/10
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Post by TheDenizen on Feb 19, 2019 0:39:17 GMT
Texas Lightning - Terrible flick about an asshole redneck who tries to toughen up his wimpy son by bringing him along on a hunting trip with a pair of his shit-kicker buddies. The majority of the movie is made up of montages of dudes shooting at rabbits in the desert or getting wasted and whooping it up at a crappy honky-tonk western bar. There's really nothing worth seeing here, unless you have some kind of disturbed and deep rooted desire to see Marcia Brady get raped by a couple of fat, drunken hillbillies. 2/10
Holy Virgin vs the Evil Dead - When a blood drinking demon connected to an ancient Cambodian moon cult murders a bunch of nubile students in Hong Kong, their professor aids police in tracking the culprit. Pretty crazy Cat III actionfest, packed with black magic, cheesy effects and gore. The first half is mostly hot girls getting naked and/or killed, and the second half consists of a series of frantic kung fu scraps and machine gun battles featuring a very young Donnie Yen. You could certainly do a whole lot worse. 7/10
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Post by BakFu on Feb 21, 2019 1:55:52 GMT
Let me tell ya somthin' bruthas! What the hell... Hogan movie starring THOR!
Sounds pretty gnarly. OT: a Vince movie? Not sure why, but sure. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2019 3:43:34 GMT
Yeah I just found that out today I just googled Hulk Hogan and I was like wait what Chris Hemsworth WTF????.
And I don't think the Hulk Hogan film would star Þórr (Thor) he is the god of thunder the one we prey too, he currently lives in Asgard I don't think they would hire Thor it would be a bit of a flight for him even know he is the mighty one.
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Post by El Marsh on Feb 22, 2019 6:29:31 GMT
I just saw "La Strada" for the first time. Wow. I'm familiar with some of the later works of the incomparable Federico Fellini but I'd never seen this beautiful, somber, sensual overload of a movie. Anthony Quinn had a very long career, often playing tough guys in the vein of his character here, the churlish strongman Zampano. Richard Baseheart makes a noteworthy appearance as a rival performer but by far and away, the performance of the film was turned in by Giulietta Masina as the dim, sweet-natured waif Gelsomina. Masina's performance is utterly captivating. She brings a sincere innocence to the character in this world of itinerant travel where the only constant is the brutish, abusive Zampano (Quinn) who slowly changes her into something altogether pitiful and utterly tragic; Masina nails all aspects of this performance in a manner that was compared to that of Charlie Chaplin's Tramp and even lauded by the legendary actor himself.
Quinn and Baseheart play their parts excellently but Masina is the real attraction here. She was more than just the director's wife. She was something special in this film.
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Post by BakFu on Feb 22, 2019 13:54:56 GMT
Yeah I just found that out today I just googled Hulk Hogan and I was like wait what Chris Hemsworth WTF????. And I don't think the Hulk Hogan film would star Þórr (Thor) he is the god of thunder the one we prey too, he currently lives in Asgard I don't think they would hire Thor it would be a bit of a flight for him even know he is the mighty one. Of course it wouldn't and COULDN'T have REAL Thor (Þórr), because CLEARLY he has WAAAY too much talent and has at least 25" pythons, when the role clearly requires 24" pythons. In summary, real Thor (Þórr) is clearly over qualified for the paltry job of playing the man with the largest arms in the world who said his prayers, took his "vitamins", and shot poses while winning the hearts of all the little hulkamaniacs in 80's/90's WWF/WCW rings. A job perfect for the large Australian man who played Jack Kirby's vision of the character in Disney's take on Marvel's stories. I don't know if there is any other actor out there that could pull off playing Hogan like Hemsworth. I wonder what other wrestlers they'll portray in this movie, if it happens? |
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Post by OrochiGeese on Feb 22, 2019 18:39:07 GMT
I don't know if there is any other actor out there that could pull off playing Hogan like Hemsworth. I wonder what other wrestlers they'll portray in this movie, if it happens? I also wonder if the other wrestlers will also be played by Hemsworth  Let's get a weird mash-up of "Being John Malkovich" plus "Thor" plus "No Holds Barred!" Edit: Now that I think about it, I'm disappointed that the Rock didn't try to play every role in that new movie about Paige and her family. I want to see him wearing a black wig and hear him shrieking: "This is my house!" in Paige's voice 😀 |
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