that's a great idea! i'll definitely do that because the kof13 ending is...quite something....
also i had to retype a fair bit of this since i accidentally closed out the tab typing this in the forum lol. so without further ado, a transcript of the second mostly-half of year 2 (which can be viewed
here)
YEAR 2, MAY:
The week before, Melly & Sasha were exasperated only being a percent away from doing a tournament. Now with this week, they jumped right on it, and they didn't even need to hire or invite anybody else, this would be a bonafide Mellyverse card! Except the belt being offered for this one is from the defunct Film Fighters stable. And so the brackets for this one are:
ASUKA vs The Shockmaster
Aoko Aozaki vs Jeff Gerstmann
Athena Asamiya vs Honey
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow vs Moltar
Now is a good time to mention we mostly skip the matches aside from a few. Time constraints and all.
And now, the results?
ASUKA (L) vs The Shockmaster (W)
Match Evaluation: 100%
Match Time: 15:19
Deciding Move: Hip Drop
The audiences found this one to be a classic, because they seem to just enjoy people losing to Shockmaster sitting on them. And so, ASUKA suffers the same fate as Hannibal Buress before her.
Aoko Aozaki (W) vs Jeff Gerstmann (L)
Match Evaluation: 78%
Match Time: 9:05
Deciding Move: High Kick Combo -> Hooked-Leg Pinfall
Aoko does what she usually does -- eliminating people by kicking them in the head repeatedly. Not really a surprise Jeff fell to that relatively easily.
Athena Asamiya (W) vs Honey (L)
Match Evaluation: 85%
Match Time: 10:32
Deciding Move: Eiffel D'Parachute
This one was shown. A pretty back-and-forth match that ended with Athena nonchalantly shrugging before slamming onto Honey for the pin. "I GUESS I'll win then, why not...". Melly remarks this was rated a bit lower than she expected, but in hindsight she finds she might have unrealistically high standards, especially since Sasha correctly points out it was a bit short.
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow (W) vs Moltar (L)
Match Evaluation: 89%
Match Time: 11:23
Deciding Move: KO
Moltar's helmet wasn't enough for him to be rendered completely unconscious by Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam. It's unknown what move caused this, but it's likely the state of awe Moltar was in looking at him that he suddenly blacked out and fell to the mat.
The Shockmaster (L) vs Aoko Aozaki (W)
Match Evaluation: 92%
Match Time: 11:40
Deciding Move: KO (High kick to the back of the head)
"Aoko, you're somethin else...."
Shockmaster fought valiantly, but his glittery helmet wasn't enough to withstand Aoko's powerful kicks. And so down he goes (again?).
Athena Asamiya (L) vs Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow (W)
Match Evaluation: 91%
Match Time: 18:28
Deciding Move: (something something) Bomb -> Double-Leg Hook Fall
Her superpowers weren't enough to fend off the beast, but damned if she didn't try as hard as she could. At 18 minutes and a half and a good fight, the audience loved this one too.
Then the actual title fight comes....
Aoko Aozaki (W) vs Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow (L)
Match Evaluation: 71%
Match Time: 10:33
Deciding Move: Middle Kick -> Pinfall
....and it's pretty easy to telegraph what would happen. Even Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam's huge noggin wasn't enough to withstand Aoko's kick flurry.
And so, she holds the Film Fighters Heavyweight title!
The card itself had 10000 people attend (was enough to fill a medium hall in rural America), with 643 people trying their best to either cram into the venue or peer into the building from outside. It resulted in an 86.6% rating. Elsewhere...
In an utterly bizarre coincidence, the Jukebox finds both Swery 65 and Eiffel 65 as their tag team champions! Sakura Kasugano is the junior heavyweight champion of Capcom, too. And that's about it.
YEAR 2, JUNE:
We look for free agents, and in Europe we spot Fei Fei from Dong Dong Never Die, the lady that is...basically just Iori Yagami. Solid stats, C popularity across the board, and Freestyle style which we don't have one of and could use for variety's sake. Upon Sasha, the maker of the edit, saying she has confidence in her AI, we approach her for a signing offer.
She, of course, is worried about their style not matching up with ours. Regardless, we throw $20,000 her way as a signing bonus, because that's changed people's minds before.
....didn't work this time though. So like, I dunno, cross-promotion with Kelexo's characters?
Sure thing! On the way to booking, we produce a bunch of snacks, DVDs, towels, and T-shirts, and put our characters in our respective slots, not to mention our own title match, but since Aoko is the title holder we're not too scared.
And the card is as follows:
Hashi vs Jeff Gerstmann
Thug One vs Butt-Head
Plok vs Honey
ASUKA vs Kevin Beastman (Kelexo Jr. Heavyweight)
Trouble Man vs Aoko Aozaki (Film Fighter Heavyweight)
So how'd that go?
Hashi (W) vs Jeff Gerstmann (L)
Match Evaluation: 82%
Match Time: 12:15
Deciding Move: Barmian Stamp
Upon inspecting this match involving Jeff and the tree man, it became clear Jeff doesn't take being in the ring very seriously, often doing Spells that wind him out very quickly. The audience took a liking to him this time, but as expected he fell to Hashi's Barmian Stamp, which god what is with this move why is it so overpowered
After a brief discussion The Black Heart brought on as whether ghosts can bleed or not and how both Battle Monsters and Junji Ito established they can, we're off to the next match!
Thug One (W) vs Butt-Head (L)
Match Evaluation: 90%
Match Time: 15:18
Deciding Move: Elbow Drop Hold
Some of the audience members claimed they saw Beavis near the ring seeing the end of this match and yelling "you lost to that Batman Forever loser? You wussy!" at Butt-Head. Probably explains the high rating.
Plok (L) vs Honey (W)
Match Evaluation: 86%
Match Time: 12:46
Deciding Move: Flying Bodyscissors Attack -> Pinfall
Honey brings in the first win, likely because she both actually takes wrestling seriously and also isn't Butt-Head.
Onto the title matches, which we did view...
ASUKA (L) vs Kevin Beastman (W)
Match Evaluation: 96%
Match Time: 15:31
Deciding Move: Eiffel D'Parachute
She put up a great fight but sadly ASUKA loses again this month and fails to take Kevin's title. Also he howled like a wolf several times, which uhh I never played Secret of Mana so the reference is lost on me. Either way, Kevin holds his hand on the belt with an iron grip.
So how does Aoko do against a MUGEN edit of Iori Yagami?
Trouble Man (L) vs Aoko Aozaki (W)
Match Evaluation: 70%
Match Time: 8:43
Deciding Move: Combination 2 -> Pinfall
"Aoko, he has a family!"
Even better than usual. In fact, the only thing Trouble Man really did was a couple of punches and pull out a chair. It was almost entirely Aoko straight-up bullying him. And with that, no belts change hands with either federation.
Full house attendence in a medium American rural hall again, with 610 people trying desperately to squeeze into the venue, and an average rating of 84%. In other news...
Kurt Cobain and Iggy Pop both win the Jukebox's heavyweight tag team belt, which again makes way too much sense. That's it for the other feds in terms of belts.
"Hey boss, the network wants too (sic) broadcast our product!"
For a year we get a $15,000 revenue for broadcasting it. Absolutely we're signing!
And right after this, Ol' Dirty Bastard gets arrested for aggravated assault. Which is very strange...he got hospitalized for 4 months, yet somehow managed to get arrested for that. Maybe somebody in the hospital was pissing him off? In much lighter news, The Shockmaster was randomly a guest on 'Globe of Sport', a European program which apparently pulled in good ratings.
YEAR 2, JULY
After changing some salaries, we go attempt to grab another free agent. We spot Shinsuke Nekomura, which anybody that watches our old Smackdown streams would know we have a history of having strange Nakamura variants in our ranks. And he's King's Road, which would add some variety. Is he easier to grab than Fei Fei?
Turns out throwing $30,000 at a person changes their mind pretty quickly. The King of Cat Style joins our ranks, which is both good and bad news for Melly, since she has to keep her distance from him lest she start having a massive allergic reaction to him.
So to have somebody for him to fight, we spot another King's Road person in Japan; and it's a mysterious character that might've come from the Dorimaga Dreamcast magazine from years past. The bizarre looking Ningen Heisei Delfin agrees to come to our show. Melly then attempts to rope Alex from Street Fighter 3 into the mix, but he just responds 'at ease, loser' and then walks away. So I guess we're not getting him. However, her attempt to get Plok to join proves more successful. And with another round of merchandise released, we get onto our next card! Sasha comes up with the good idea to finally get a tag team belt match going, so that gets added in, resulting in:
Plok vs The Shockmaster
Moltar vs Booger
Butt-Head vs Beavis (for the MIC Collect Jr. Heavyweight belt)
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow & Jeff Gerstmann vs Honey & Athena Asamiya
Shinsuke Nekomura vs Ningen Heisei Delfin ('Mystery Game Man')
Let's see how this goes...
Plok (L) vs The Shockmaster (W)
Match Evaluation: 81%
Match Time: 11:47
Deciding Move: Elbow Drop Hold
Shockmaster gives another competitor THE BIG SHOCK, although considering the time and rating Plok at least tried.
Moltar (L) vs Booger (W)
Match Evaluation: 82%
Match Time: 14:19
Deciding Move: Chicken Choke
The wrestlers backstage complained about having to hear Beavis & Butt-Head laugh constantly when it was announced what move decided the match. Booger yet again pulls out a powerful submission hold and Moltar ultimately loses to it. Speaking of Beavis & Butt-Head...
Butt-Head (L) vs Beavis (W)
Match Evaluation: 90%
Match Time: 14:13
Deciding Move: Barmian Stamp
Fun fact: Beavis has this move because of the time he sat on a car jack just to make a 'jackass' joke in the show. Turns out that's probably his most powerful move.
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow & Jeff Gerstmann (W?) vs Honey & Athena Asamiya (L)
DRAW
Match Evaluation: 69%
Match Time: 14:26
Deciding Move: Chair's Illusion (DQ)
We watched this and thank god we did, easily one of the strangest matches we've seen. Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam threw Athena out of the ring entirely to mock her at one point by repeatedly taunting, and Jeff wins by DQ, meaning...the belts still don't have champions? Even when Jeff wins, he still doesn't win.
At this point, Melly upon anticipating the next match accidentally hit 'skip' instead of 'watch', much to her dismay.
Shinsuke Nekomura (L) vs Ningen Heisei Delfin (W)
Match Evaluation: 84%
Match Time: 11:47
Deciding Move: Reverse Hanging Punch
All the same, it seems the audience liked it. NHD wins with another move I suspect being a bit overpowered, and although Nekomura lost his debut, the fans took a liking to him in his first showing. Melly vows to get NHD back for the next show so she can actually watch him this time.
Very similar event results to the others, honestly. Meanwhile, Mr. Big and Shermie win the SNK Heavyweight tag team belt, whereas the 'real wrestling' stable finds Panda, Bret Hart and Foo Fighters as their 6-man tag team champions. Rainbow Mika's partner ends up taking the Capcom belt, rather than going for a tag team title, and the tree man Jeff unsuccessfully fought now holds the Kelexo Heavyweight title.
Hannibal Burress thinks it's time to move on and leaves the Film Fighter stable. Maybe they didn't like his show Snail Down! very much. And apparently Nekomura's debut was a bigger hit than expected because he ALREADY showed up on the Mexican variety show Sabado Pequeno, seemingly tapping into a catman wrestling market. May explain why our DVD sales suddenly skyrocketed. Seems he's doing great for our company overall then.
YEAR 2, AUGUST
Hannibal Burress is apparently still bitter about the Shockmaster incident because he refused to sign with us, even though he says she shows interest. Even trying to invite him to the card doesn't work. What about Ningen Hesei Delfin? Inviting him doesn't work either, saying he doesn't like the type of event we're holding. Well, whatever then. We managed to get Antonov from King of Fighters XIV on board, so who cares what reservations you have about working with MIC Collect, ya nerds?!
While we're at it, that Dan Danger guy still has our belt. With a successful invitation, we're ready to take it back, and with more stuff produced, time to get our next card going.
Jeff Gerstmann vs Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow
Butt-Head vs Booger
ASUKA vs Beavis (MIC Collect Jr. Heavyweight belt)
Moltar vs The Shockmaster
Shinsuke Nekomura vs Antonov
Aoko Aozaki vs Dan Danger (MIC Collect Heavyweight belt)
How'd this work out?
Jeff Gerstmann (L) vs Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bigelow (W)
Match Evaluation: 90%
Match Time: 13:28
Deciding Move: (something something) Bomb -> Double-Leg Hook Fall
As expected. Guess comedy wrestlers work pretty well together, huh?
Or, uh...
Butt-Head (L) vs Booger (W)
Match Evaluation: 69%
Match Time: 9:48
Deciding Move: Chicken Choke
Butt-Head somehow still laughed while being strangled considering the rating and finisher name, but the audience didn't as much this time. Booger reminds us he works best only with certain characters.
ASUKA (L) vs Beavis (W)
Match Evaluation: 88%
Match Time: 18:24
Deciding Move: Super Body Blow -> Pinfall
ASUKA tries. She really, really does. Yet she still manages to lose a title match (Melly apparently just gave her a ton of title shots out of sympathy) to Beavis's powerful gut punch.
Moltar (L) vs Shockmaster (W)
Match Evaluation: 100%
Match Time: 19:12
Deciding Move: Elbow Drop Hold
Shockmaster causes another classic match to happen and also yet again wins. He's really making up for what happened in the past, it seems!
Shinsuke Nekomura (W) vs Shockmaster (L)
Match Evaluation: 100%
Match Time: 13:27
Deciding Move: Diving Enzui Kneedrop -> Hooked-Leg Pinfall
Shinsuke Nekomura also wins this time, against a KOF sub-boss no less! Although upon inspection, for a cat he doesn't meow. At all. It leads to many questions about his identity.
Aoko Aozaki (W) vs Dan Danger (L)
Match Evaluation: 74%
Match Time: 10:22
Deciding Move: Combination 2 -> Hooked-Leg Pinfall
It's at this time I would like to point out that in the Melty Blood games, Aoko had a move called I'm Gonna Kick You!. She didn't lie. With another job well done, she takes our belt back and brings it to its rightful home.
The event was a great success, what with 1611 people overflowing from a full house large hall in rural America. Meanwhile, Skullomania grabs a title belt of his own and Lil Uzi Vert, once again way too appropriately, drops into the Jukebox stable. It's at this point Capcom themselves approach us for a cross-promotion offer and we accept it on the spot.
So what happened after that?
Athena Asamiya vs Hakan
Moltar vs Juri Han
Booger vs Karate Kenji
Urien vs Aoko Aozaki (Film Fighter Heavyweight)
The Shockmaster vs Yamato Nadeshiko (Capcom Heavyweight)
We actually DO have a Capcom vs SNK match for our starter, then things just get weird. As for the card itself?
Athena Asamiya (L) vs Hakan (W)
Match Evaluation: 70%
Match Time: 8:49
Deciding Move: Crook Head Scissors
CVS3, as it turns out, is just kind of 'eh'.
Moltar (W) vs Juri Han (L)
Match Evaluation: 85%
Match Time: 12:51
Deciding Move: Miracle Ecstasy -> Double-Leg Hook Fall
After dropping Juri on her head a scary amount of times, Moltar thanks his audience with a 'gaaaah!' while waving at them, who appreciated this match considerably more than the starter.
Booger (W) vs Karate Kenji (L)
Match Evaluation: 73%
Match Time: 9:52
Deciding Move: Testicular Claw
Booger may have won against the final boss of Fight Fever, but the audience didn't really care. Also he won with that, so.
Urien (L) vs Aoko Aozaki (W)
Match Evaluation: 75%
Match Time: 9:00
Deciding Move: High Kick -> Pinfall
You can Aegis Reflector all you want, you still can't deflect Aoko's kicks. She effortlessly hangs onto the belt of a dead federation as Melly shakes her head in disbelief and Sasha remarks 'it probably would've helped if he put a shirt on'.
And for the last match of the night:
The Shockmaster (W) vs Yamato Nadeshiko (L)
Match Evaluation: 75%
Match Time: 8:08
Deciding Move: Body Choke Sleeper
Yeesh. Even Shockmaster couldn't get this one to a 90%, but he does have the Capcom belt now! Our unnamed assistant voices their concern for the next event, as this one only grabbed a 75.6% rating. Never work with Capcom is the lesson here.
In other fed news, Jobin Higashikata wins the JoJo Heavyweight belt. With the show done for the week, Melly forgets to hit sa -- I mean, Ash Crimson pops out of nowhere and yells 'BON VOYAGE' as he alters the events of tonight's show. What could change now? Only time will tell!
