The STRUGGLE is real - newww stufffffff

NONSTOP REFEREE ACTION!

First, I decided to snazzy up the official STRUGGLE referee shirt with some official-type emblems, as evidenced here on senior referee, Referoth, and senior citizen referee, Ancient Gus:

Also, sometimes, shit gets crazy around here, so Gus prepares accordingly:

Also, freshly hired out of referee school, STRUGGLE's first female referee, Brown Shoes, so nicknamed on account of her distinctive brown shoes

And he doesn't work official matches in front of crowds, but Ol' Hoss Gracie keeps the rookies in line in Hoss Dojo training sessions:

Elsewhere around the Tri-State Area, while they don't run many shows anymore, Grim Holler Wrasslin' has their own official referee, Big Snooks Tutwiler. (not to be confused with Lil' Snooks)

The question often gets raised as to why Snooks is a referee as opposed to a wrestler, given how he's so damn big, but the answer is simple: Wrestling would potentially jeopardize his government disability check, and referees get paid under the table.

Across the way, at the EWX Wrestle Basement, Jay Hero has the easy-ass job of officiating matches which seldom if ever have any actual rules to enforce.

(and I know you were wondering, but yes, he is that Jay Hero, the former singer of Tri-State Area metalcore legends His Hero is the Bastard, and yes, EWX owner/wrestler Tony Victory did totally hire him in the hopes that he'd get first dibs at signing his band if they ever got back together)

In medieval weaponry news, I made this damn thing, but I'm probably not releasing it to the public until I figure out why it doesn't always line up with the wrestler's hand. (or honestly, when I just give up on finding out why)

Well, first of all, I know you'll probably ask "why are you trying give your user interface a Beavis and Butt-head theme?"

And my answer is simply "why are you NOT?"

Anyway, general "stuff you may never get to use, because I may never finish and/or upload it" update again.  First of all, fleshed out the appearances of some recent LEGENDS OF THE TRI-STATE AREA and Hoss Dojo trainees:

GOVERNOR JUSTICE: L-R:  Governor Justice (80s-early 200s), Jake Justice (late 70s/early 80s), gov. entrance Gear, modern day

LT. GOVERNOR JUSTICE:  L-R: Early-mid 2000s, Instigator #8 (early 2000s), Formal Attire, President Evil (2009-ish all-black gear that he really needs to bring back, in my opinion)

HOSS GRACIE: Killer Kowboys (late 70s-80s), solo Hoss (90s), street fight gear, Modern day Ol' Ross Gracie

BUCKSHOT MCMURDER: Killer Kowboys, Street fight, 90s solo gear, modern day SLAMMED STRAIGHT! head trainer Yusuf Muhammad

ACE LA GRANGE:  Promising rookie Alan La Grange (early 2000s), ACE LA GRANGE: WORLD CHAMP MOTHERFUCKERS (mid 2000s), starting to Leave Las Vegas but still okay (2011ish), no-showed your outlaw mudshow and you're kinda glad he did (mid 2010s)

YUMIKO LA GRANGE:  rising star Yumiko Nakano (late 90s/early 2000s), high-flying fan-favorite Yumiko La Grange (mid 2000s), brutal asskicker who kinda scares you but you still cheer her because you like her husband (late 2000s), infamous SWA dark match from 2012

SOUR PERSIMMON COUSINS:  attires based on newspaper clippings from his appearances over the years

SOCCER NINJA - Home, Away, mad-Ninja-ish, attire for not cutting the evil Shredder any slack

DREAD LOBSTER: Regular, Bobsled Tribute, dojo gear, chilling with the Guy in the Bad Brains Shirt Who Sells Dope in the Parking Lot

LOUIS VAN LEEUWENHOEK: white, blue, yellow, I JUST WANNA BE PUUUUURE

And now for NEW WRESTLERS IN VARIOUS STATES OF NON-COMPLETION

coming eventually to STRUGGLE Pro, the UNNAMED FACTION OF MOBBED-UP DUDES (tentative title) - Currently-imprisoned STRUGGLE founder Steven T. Ruggle owed a lot of money to a lot of people you don't necessarily want to owe money to, and local underboss Joey Casseroles has decided it's time for his little brother Nate to pay up.  They really seem to rub the Grozny family the wrong way, but I don't know why, seeing as how they're all legitimate businessmen.

L-R: Muscles Mancini, Vinnie the Murderer, and "Legitimate Businessman" Joey Casseroles

And in local blood-n-guts fed Extreme Wrestling XTREME, we've got this idiot:

"The Indy Darling" ANDY DARLING:  He's 160 pounds and wears a t-shirt in the ring out of necessity! He has vinyl shorts he got on sale!  He does all the most stupidly dangerous moves possible, and has never actually been trained on how to do any of them!  He uses the Burning Hammer as a transition and an elbow butt as a finish! He listens to Disturbed!

And finally, new recruits for the HOSS DOJO:

LIL' SNOOKS:  Teenage son of Grim Holler Wrasslin' referee Big Snooks Tutwiler, this boy is a total disappointment, as rather than being a God-fearing, oversized hillbilly like his dad, he's like 5'9" and spends his days listening to shitty devil music and smoking the damn dopes.  So when his dad found out he had been making sporadic EWX appearances under the name "Bloodfiend, the Black Exhorter," (that's the fourth attire) he made him knock that shit off and enroll in the Hoss Dojo, so ol' Hoss could beat some sense into him.  Actually has a lot of potential as kind of a high-flyer/hardcore hybrid, which are the two kinds of wrestling his dad is utterly disgusted with.  Has a puppy-dog-eyed, schoolboy crush on STRUGGLE Pro brawler and former Grim Holler resident Jezebel Grim, which really kinda grosses her out, because she can only think of him as being like eight years old.

THE GENTRIFICATOR:  Masked trust-fund hipster who moved to the South Central Tri-State Area because he really liked the energy and vibe of the place, but really wishes that all the people who have lived their entire lives there would move somewhere else.  Someday hopes to convince his parents to purchase the Vito Genovese Memorial Bingo Complex and Auction Barn for him, so that he can renovate the building and turn all the unused storage space into an adults-only rumpus room and local art collective (but there's not much local art he's into, so he'll have to get his buddies from up North to move here).  Of course, to do the necessary repairs, he'd have to raise ticket prices to about $175 apiece, but hey, he's trying to improve the community.

THE BASKETBALL CRANK:  Near 7-footer and former conservative blogger who has rededicated himself to proving to pro wrestling fans that it is not wrestling that is the ultimate sport, but in fact basketball.  None of this makes sense to anyone.

(L-R:  regular, 2% Milk, Queso Blanco, dojo gear)

VELVEETA DREAM:  Bizarre, yet extremely talented performer who somehow has the mysterious ability to live on a diet of almost entirely processed cheese food products while somehow being neither 400+ pounds nor riddled with disease.  for reasons no one can understand, she and Broccolord absolutely despise each other, which is probably a good thing, as I bet it would be some sort of Ghostbusters Gatekeeper/Keymaster situation otherwise. (For the record, this edit is probably like 95% finished)

You guys.

The endless parade of half-finished new edits continues.  I may have a problem.

First of all, in our beloved STRUGGLE Pro, controversial newcomer Doctor Reverend Billy Wayne Humble has introduced two new members of Humble Ministries

The Good Doctor Reverend's personal assistant, Sister Candy, is now joined at all times by her two own personal assistants (and brutal enforcers) BROTHER SMOTHERS and SISTER DOBALINA

While these two usually act in a bodyguard/enforcer role to Sister Candy, Brother Smothers and Sister Dobalina (sister Barb Dobalina) are certainly not above mixing it up in the ring from time to time. They're a pair of big brutes who are as powerful as they are loyal, and - let's be honest here - kind of creepy.  But Sister Candy is definitely not using the Ministry as the front for a doomsday cult, seriously, I asked.

Meanwhile, over at the Hoss Dojo (which is in the same building), the odd couple tag team of COBRA HIGHWAY - RAOUL KEMP and FITZCARRALDO KINSKI

Kemp has been called an American icon, as a controversial author and innovator of what has been referred to as "Fozzy Journalism," and Kinski is a revered and award-winning German film director and documentarian.  Together, they've joined forces as a tag team in sort of an "embedded battlefield journalist" role, where they hope to expose the underbelly of Tri-State Area wrestling as only someone on the inside would be able. Kinski takes a methodical, cerebral approach to the sport of wrestling, while Kemp is pretty much always freaked out on PCP and usually hiding several firearms in his shorts.

Now, I give you a peek into some stuff none of you will ever get to use, as they only exist outside the game's save file as modded extra attires - ALTERNATE ATTIRES!

LEFT TO RIGHT, TOP TO BOTTOM: Tyrannosaurus Plex: American Tyrant, Crash Ferrari: long tights and winterized versions, Zippity Duda: winterized, Donita Zapata: smelling not unlike Teen Spirit, Sister Candy: gold gear and gold dress editions, El Hijio Del Big Bird Machine: winterized, Lorelei Grim: (sort of) winterized, Jezebel Grim: pink and green hair variants, Nasty Dick Bacteria: shirt and vest "Vyvyan"edition, Skip Legday: teal, white, and yellow variants, Pitbull Van Scorpio: Funky and Sandy variants, Rabbi Spike: winterized, Zelda Lucabrasi: (somewhat) winterized, Coke Brothers: white edition, Taco Belle: winterized, and Yumiko La Grange: championship gold

I remain terrible about actually finishing anything I start in the game itself or actually running any shows for my dumb little e-fed, but I remain productive when it comes to all the peripheral bullshit.  First, a couple new t-shirts, on sale at a flea market near you:

Big Baby Lucifer really needs the cash coming in, as crisis-hoarding is making the price skyrocket for diapers that fit a nearly 7 foot tall, 400+ pound man.

And Agents Bulldog, Fang, and 35 were probably not consulted about the new President Evil Shirt.

Meanwhile, for reasons I'll hopefully clarify soon, live wrestling is still going strong in the Tri-State Area, in the face of ethics and logic. After everyone's done spreading the disease, we'll all be in a state of euphoria if we manage to end up among the living.