The Senatorial Office: Open for Business!!

While Senatorial Office management might be in complete disarray, the PEWA continues on with a card promising to carry on with the usual blood and guts, lights and violence, challenges and feuds.


PEWA: Old Blood, New Blood
8:00 PM(CT) on Friday, May 28th at the Halcyon Ballroom in Philadelphia, PA

The Hindu Sheik(CAWF), Running Diamond Cutter Man and Powers and Fury(Luke Powers and Jack Fury) vs. The Warbringers(Demarcus Browning(Rose Garden) and Moustapha Ndour) and the Wild Women(Julette Erving and Mina Fitsharris)
With the victories of the Running Diamond Cutter Man over Hobo Harry for the PEWA Extreme title and Powers and Fury over the Warbringers for the Extreme Tag titles, the three have now found themselves targeted by one and all. Juliette Erving's win over Sylvain Mint improved her chance at targeting Jose Marin and his belt, while the Warbringers have never been the types to let a loss remain with impunity. Throw in Mina Fitsharris on the challengers alliance and the legendary Hindu Sheik with the champions, and you have the makings of a star studded main event that looks to be a prelude to future confrontations.

Ruler of the Road Title Bout
Anwar Omar(C) vs. X-KIRA
Anwar Omar made his way through an eight person tag and a battle royale to claim the vacated Ruler of the Road title, and will now meet his first challenger in this monthly title match. Japanese deathmatch icon and one half of Breakers' Revenge with Tomas, X-KIRA had the biggest win of his PEWA run as he defeated the Hindu Sheik last month, and now seeks to continue that momentum into a tangible reward. This is more than anything, a battle of the Somalian Survivor's incredible toughness and relentless side headlocks against X=KIRA's well-balanced offence.

Light Tube Deathmatch
Tomas the Tiny Giant vs. Zanca
Back in action again, Tomas returns to take on the insufferable stuntman, Zanca, and does so within the confines of his favorite match type: the light tube deathmatch. Both Tomas and Zanca arrive in this match in need of rebuilding their standing in the PEWA, with Tomas's perpetual injuries in particular keeping him from returning to the top of the card, while Zanca is likely to be happy if he can manage an upset against a name opponent in this one.

Zach Sheridan(Evergreen) vs. Jeffrey Janson
The second of the Sheridan Brothers-PEWA's Most Hated matches pits the former Corporate Idol and PEWA Extreme champion against the more grounded of the Sheridans, with Zach and Janson squaring off. Both men have notable success with their primary submission hold, Sheridan with his Regal Stretch and Janson with his Full Janson seated full nelson, but it is also difficult to imagine two wrestlers who could as easily draw the absolute contempt of the crowd at the Halcyon Ballroom.

Vincent Sheridan(Evergreen) vs. "Party Animal" Jeremy Wylde
For fans who enjoy spastic high energy indy nonsense: Vincent Sheridan and Jeremy Wylde have you covered. Expect the first match between the PEWA's Most Hated and the Sheridan Brothers to fly by in an instant, and expect both participants to make heads hurt with their outlandish, often needless flippery.

The Bingo Hall Mutants(Rampage Rage and Skullface Killah) vs. The Railjumpers(Jayne Payne and Jumpin' Jim Malone)
With Skullface Killah restricted only to outside competition for months following his injury at the hands of Moustapha Ndour, the Mutants finally return in full force to the PEWA, going up against one of the stalwart teams of Highway Outlaw Wrestling in the Railjumers in Jayne Payne and Jumpin' Jim Malone. Although many see this as a tune-up match for the Mutants, the Jumpers have never been known to back down or take part in a dull contest, so do be ready for a good one here.

Big Clay Hurst(Wrestle Parade) vs. Fat Burner
Two perpetual chasers of the Ruler of the Road title, Big Clay Hurst and Fat Burner will match up in a bout with heavy implications for the future defenses of the former Highway Outlaw title. Both have impressive wins to their names, with Hurst formerly holding the belt and having defeated Annie Chang and Texas Rose in quality contests, while Fat Burner has a win over Mina Fitsharris in the prior year. Expect Burner to keep the pace up in the hopes that, even if he must lose, he can still gain a moral victory in assisting Hurst in a potential weight loss exercise.

Skurai vs. Tracy Finn vs. Texas Rose vs. Downtown Lucy Brown vs. FENYANG vs. The Cremator vs. Yamikuro vs. Victor Van Banning
Although not officially stated as such, the opening royale could drastically further the chances for the winner, either for a sure shot at the Ruler of the Road or to climb up the ranks towards the Extreme belt. With the diverse cast of characters involved, any predictions would be quickly invalidated.

---

Running Diamond Cutter Man: At first, I wasn't sure what to think when I beat the Hobo and got this belt. Thought that was it, man, the big moment, and everything else, who cares? I got the big one!

Jack Fury: Alas, it is the curse we all receive when we place our hands upon the gold. It claims our souls and changes us forever after. The turning point has been breached and the striving and hunger of the past are not replaced, but diverted towards a new goal.

Luke Powers: What this geezer means to say, is that it ain't good enough to win the belt. Now you got to be the champ. You earned the right to write your name in the book. But who gives a shit if you don't do anything past that! You have to make this run yours! Yours! Beat everyone that matters! Show 'em it ain't a fluke! Be the first thing anyone thinks of when they talk about the PEWA!

RDCM: Hey, hey, I just keep goin' one match at a time. I know Juliette Erving wants this belt. And I know the Warbringers want to take those belts back from you two.

Fury: Which is why this match is taking place.

RDCM: And that's why we got the friggin' Hindu Shiek on our side! Seriously, man, the Hindu Sheik's teaming with us! I remember watching him when I was wrestling in backyards and thinking that dude's totally badass. And now I got Jack Fury, Luke Powers and the Hindu Sheik all lining up with me. Life's funny, man.

Powers: We all got our stories. I just about botched my life up beyond repair. Got back from rehab, kicking ass, taking names ever since. Fury's old as dirt, dragged him out of the nursing home, and he's a champ again with me. You, we all know your story, ring crew, backyard, indy trash, Highway Outlaw, Extreme champ. Sheik's a living legend. So what if we got thrown together. It makes sense to me.

Fury: Oroboros, the never ending serpent, the circle that closes in on itself. Were we to maintain this alliance, that would be an apt description.

Powers: Hell naw, we're not naming ourselves "Four Boars" or whatever the hell kinda bullshit you just pulled out of your ass! Come on! What is this, your Dungeons and Dragons club? You think I'm GPC or something?

RDCM: We could call ourselves the Spirit Squad for all I care, as long as we keep the belts.

Powers: Look, we got your back this Friday, and you got ours, and that's all cool. But let me make one thing clear. I want to see you make the best of this run, kick ass, beat everyone. And Jack and I got our hands full with the tag belts and those Warbringers. But you keep that thing, and there's coming a time where you and me might be standing face to face in that ring. And you'll have a chance to make people remember your run for decades...or maybe I take back the spot that's always belonged to me. So just because we're all good now, don't think that means I gave up on getting that back.

RDCM: Man, I looked up to you years ago, right when I left the ring crew, I saw this guy my age coming in who couldn't be stopped. But right now, I'm not looking up to you...I'm standing here looking right at you. And just like everyone else, you and me get in that ring with the title on the line, and you're gonna feel...the...bang!

Powers: Confidence, Jose Marin, confidence. I like that. That's what an ace needs. Just hold onto that thing long enough, and we'll see.

The PEWA's in action again tonight, with returning veterans and rising stars all joining together to represent the best Philly Extreme style has to offer! Catch it all tonight at 8:00 PM, Central Time on the Senatorial Streaming Service!

www.twitch.tv/senatorphillips

---

Rampage Rage: We're back, and we're ready to run wild on the Railjumpers!

Skullface Killah: We'll break them down and give 'em BBQ after the show!

Ramapge: I mean, you're not wrong, but damn, man, that doesn't sound intimidating at all! "We'll kick your sorry asses...and pick you back up and we'll all be a happy hardcore family!" That's what that sounds like! Come on! We're chompin' at the bit to hit that ring and show everyone that the Bingo Hall Mutants belong back in the rankings again! So what if the Warbringers beat us? So what if our old pals, the Neon Knights got themselves belts again! Who gives a shit about King Bemba and his Royal Punkass Supersquad? We're the mothertruckin' Bingo Hall Mutants, we've been doing this for twenty years straight, and we don't take second place to nobody! And I see Jayne Payne and Jumpin' Jim think they can hang with us? That's a load of crap! We'll chew you up and spit you out and we'll show you the difference between two broke down old bar brawlers and the still-fresh, still-young, still-hungry team that built this Ballroom up, and can break it right back down if we choose! We're the Bingo Hall Mutants, and nobody can keep us from where we need to be!

Skullface: Gonna bust you up!

Rampage: Now that's more like it!

Skullface: We're still grillin' and chillin' afterwards!

Rampage: Never said we ain't doin' that! Just gotta get those priorities down straight!

Order Restored in the Office
By Kevin "The Internet" Anderson

As Editor-In-Chief of World Wrestling Daily Digest, I speak for the entire staff when I say that it has been an honor and a pleasure for us to have been the primary journalistic partner of the Senatorial Office from the beginning. This all changed following Office Chairman, Morgan Matthews's decision to ban all WWDD staff from all Office venues and property going forward, following last month's Golden Touch event. We did not take this action lightly, and immediately pursued our legal avenues. We also ensured that we maintained our secondary sources and connections to ensure that we continued to gather the news on the promotion before anyone else in the internet wrestling community. As such, I present to you, the people, a report we received from the Office's last Board of Directors meeting that took place on last Saturday.



---

Monday morning in the Texas Independent Pro Wrestling Federation's home office in Amarillo was as chaotic as could be. With a crowd gathered around Commissioner Walt Callahan's office, the crusty misanthropic official was in no mood to deal with the mass of vocal grapplers standing between him and his pot of coffee. Shoving through without a word, Callahan poured himself a mug full of caffine and sat down at his desk.

The Everyman: I'm not asking for a handout, I'm asking for work! That's all I want!

Margarita Morales: You have taken my title shot from me, the title shot that I was promised! How dare you go back on your word!

Felice Santana: You're leaving me out of the show but how can you leave me out of the show when me and my hips are so popular on my personal Twitch streams these days and i just had a great match over on Showdown where i showed everyone just how fun I am to watch even if I did lose but I don't care if I lost to Gabriela because she's really good too even if she can't fly like I can fly but she won so that matters a lot too and really I've been putting in a lot of work to build my personal brand and like you know it means a lot if you can get me on this show!

Lutadora Festiva: Don't listen to Felice, my hips are sexier and you need to put me on the show, it's been too long, I can make the people smile and win, too!

Walt Callahan: Ugh.

La Axolotl: I haven't been booked in months!

Walt Callahan: Tough shit. If you're not booked, that's all I have to say to you. Show up next time, maybe you get booked. Maybe you don't. But I have enough problems around here. Next time you all storm my office like this, I'll kick your sorry asses to the curb! Now get out of here and let me enjoy my coffee in peace! Morales, not you.

Margarita: Yes! I want to protest you taking my rightful title match away from me!

Callahan: Rightful? Who said that? As far as I can tell, El Experto said you were the contender. Not me. Him. And I don't do what El Experto says. Especially when I have a chance to stick my thumb in Midas's eye by giving this shot to John Logan. He's a proven name. And I think he belongs in a title match, really. But you? You're lucky I'm kindhearted enough to give you a chance to earn it. Just don't come crying to me if you can't beat Comet.

Margarita: You will pay for this, old man, you will pay!

Callahan: I think I already did, having to hear you screech into my old eardrums. Now get out of here!

---


The TIPWF unloads a double barrel barrage with one of the deepest cards of the year on the Senatorial Streaming Service for this Friday with multiple title matches, special guests and the pound for pound best roster in the promotion on full display.


TIPWF: High Stakes Shootout
8:00 PM (CT) on Friday, June 4th at the Stockade in Amarillo, TX

Main Event: High Stakes Shootout in the Steel Corral
Congolese Connection(Jean-Pierre Mutombo and Professor Mark Gizenga), Salvador Sosa and Felix Santana Sr. vs. Rudo EX(Colossus Rhodes, El Experto, Itzcoatl Hernandez and Poison Froggy Mask)
With their impending match for the TIPWF Lone Star Heavyweight title, Jean-Pierre Mutombo and Colossus Rhodes bring in some of their most formidable allies to battle within the confines of the Steel Corral cage in this no holds barred main event that will almost certainly see both sides looking to inflict lasting damage upon the other before the big title match. With his fellow Congolese countryman, Professor Mark Gizenga, the leader of the Rudo Army, Salvador Sosa and the legendary Felix Santana Sr, Mutombo should be well-supported, but the Rudo EX team of the Machiavellian Maestro, El Experto, the Aztec Executioner, Itzcotal Hernandez and the ever-venomous Poison Froggy Mask will be out for blood and may be the equal of any unit around.

Dominican Golden Championship Bout
Canadian Grizzly(C) vs. John Logan(Golden Touch)
John Logan asked for the best opportunities in the Office, and will receive a chance to become a double champion as he takes on Canadian Grizzly in a Dominican Golden Championship bout. The first defense for Grizzly will be a steep challenge, and almost certainly, more so than the originally planned match with Margarita Morales. However, the Canadian icon has never been one to back away from such matches, and will certainly bring his enthusiastic technical approach to bear(pun intended) against the Warrior Pro Heavyweight champ.

TIPWF Lone Star Trios Championship Bout: Knights vs. Cyclones II
Neon Knights(Holy Diver, Supernaut and Hija de Holy Diver)(C) vs. Dynasty Cyclones(Layla Al-Amin, La Relampaga(Phoenix Rising) and Esi Dogboe)
Two of the best teams in the world meet once again after their electrifying initial encounter on the previous Golden Touch event. With the Neon Knights demonstrating their return to form by defeating the Cyclones, there seemed to be more questions left unanswered following a back and forth match that seemed to bring out the best of both sides. As such, they meet again in an instant rematch with the belts once again on the line. Can the Cyclones restore their Dynasty with a comeback win? Or will the Knights remain the Kings of the Silver Mountain? One thing is for sure, with these teams matching up again, the fans are the true winners.

TIPWF Old Guard Championship Bout
Leander Grey(Phoenix Rising)(C) vs. Cruiser Khan(PEWA)
An obliterating victory over Johnny Sixname earned the Old Guard championship for the father of the Sentarl family, while Cruiser Khan made his way over from the PEWA to win a most unlikely victory over ZIP Japan's indefatigable Wataru Nakajima, setting up this challenge for a belt that has been the focus of some of the most competitive matchups on recent TIPWF programs. Grey has to be a heavy favorite over his older opponent in this match, and is by far the better preserved of the two, physically, and likely, mentally, but Khan's blatant disregard for civilized decorum and anything resembling a rule could make him a live underdog.

The New Humanity vs. Senator Emeritus Steve Phillips
The return tour of the former Senator now sees Steve Phillips upping the ante and taking on the New Humanity, Esteban Vargas, with the latter arriving here off the biggest win of his career in a dominating performance against Rudo EX in an elimination tag. With Phillips having to pull out all the stops, including the last resort, the Nuclear Option to put away a past-prime P-Dogg previously, this could be a dangerous test for the former politican, and a drastic contrast of tactical experience against otherworldly athleticism.

The Mallard(MWWC), Rodeo Angel and El Froggy Mask vs. Exotico World Order(Valentina Verda, Martina Martinez and Vice Versa)
The EWO is back in full force, and taking on the mishmash trio that has been slowly but surely climbing the ranks in the division. With Valentina Verda at the helm once more, the EWO will certainly be a threat to challenge for the titles with a win or two. Likewise, the Mallard, Angel and Froggy may yet be operating under the radar, but if they can claim victory in this match, a title opportunity is almost certainly in their future.

Dominican Golden Championship #1 Contender Bout
Hailey Comet vs. Margarita Morales
With her Experto-arranged title shot abruptly canceled by Commissioner Callahan, Margarita Morales will now have to earn her win the tough way by taking on Hailey Comet. The high flying mother of one has taken the long route towards returning to relevancy in the ring, but with a win here, Comet could represent Cogburn Ranch in an attempt at the belt Roberto Santana founded. Both Comet and Morales are well-seasoned veterans of the ring who know their capabilities and how to best leverage them.

4H Debut
Cogburn Ranch(Hoss Hank Harcourt Hadley Jr, Duke Cogburn and Generlissimo Kool Q with Cowboy Johnston) vs. High Plains Drifters(Commissioner Walt Callahan, Johnny Sixname and Marcos Angulo)
The protege of Cogburn Ranch, Hoss Hank Harcourt Hadley Jr, aka 4H, will join Duke Cogburn and Generalissimo Kool Q as the three go up against the Commissioner and the High Plains Drifters, in a match that should quickly introduce Hoss Hadley to the long-time Cogburn-Drifers feud. Hadley, a raw boned country boy with Comanche heritage brings power backbreakers and a rough brawling style to the ring, and will need to make good use of those here against the former Trios champs.

Lil' Lariato vs. Luchador Sorpresa vs. Misterio Guerrero
Expect nonstop action in the opener with three of the TIPWF's fastest matching up in a triple threat. With Lariato's forceful arm, the Mystery Warrior's mix of strength and agility and Sorpresa's well-versed Lucha Libre, this should be an energetic match to begin the show.

A standout Dominican Golden Championship bout and some quality matchups, including another standout trios match between the Neon Knights and the Dynasty Cyclones took place in Amarillo on last Friday.

RESULTS

TIPWF: High Stakes Shootout
8:00 PM (CT) on Friday, June 4th at the Stockade in Amarillo, TX

Main Event: High Stakes Shootout in the Steel Corral
Congolese Connection(Jean-Pierre Mutombo and Professor Mark Gizenga), Salvador Sosa and Felix Santana Sr. vs. Rudo EX(Colossus Rhodes, El Experto, Itzcoatl Hernandez and Poison Froggy Mask)

The main event was what was expected; a wild, uncontrollable, indecipherable war inside the cage, with Colossus Rhodes throwing Colossal Crush ganso bombs around and Mutombo's cotaliton and Rudo EX both doing their best to beat their foes into oblivion. As it was, it would be Poison Froggy Mask and his opportunistic ways that would finish things as he connected with a running double stomp on Professor Mark Gizenga to score the pin with his teammates otherwise occupied.

Dominican Golden Championship Bout
Canadian Grizzly(C) vs. John Logan(Golden Touch)

A deserving hundo and one of the more intense Office matches of the year, with John Logan and Canadian Grizzly battling back and forth for the duration of a gritty fight over the Dominican Golden Championship. Both men were sharp on the mat and both were unafraid to unleash high impact offence in their cause, Logan enduring the Dungeon Sharpshooter and kicking out from the Owen Driver, while Grizzly escaped the Vice and kicked out of Logan's Run. In the end, it would be the Canadian Grizzly who came out ahead, catching Logan with a timely Magistral pin, finishing a match that could have easily gone either way.

TIPWF Lone Star Trios Championship Bout: Knights vs. Cyclones II
Neon Knights(Holy Diver, Supernaut and Hija de Holy Diver)(C) vs. Dynasty Cyclones(Layla Al-Amin, La Relampaga(Phoenix Rising) and Esi Dogboe)

"Overlooked No Longer" could have been the title of this match, as La Relampaga took this occasion to show why she more than stands on even footing with her fellow Cyclones, serving as the instrumental member of the team in this match. The Cyclones were not to be denied in their quest to regain their belts in this one, fending off an extremely capable threat from the Knights, with the Lightning Luchadora catching Supernaut with a codebreaker into a standing shooting star press combo in the middle of a melee to score the victory and return the Lone Star Trios titles to the Dynasty Cyclones.

TIPWF Old Guard Championship Bout
Leander Grey(Phoenix Rising)(C) vs. Cruiser Khan(PEWA)

No doubt about it, Leander Grey had no intention at all to yield the Old Guard title, nor was he in the mood to allow Cruiser Khan to engage in his usual violent tactics. An emphatic win for the father of the Sentarl family, locking on a crossface before finishing with his Sharpshooter.

The New Humanity vs. Senator Emeritus Steve Phillips

The former Senator seemed to be in good form, but against the New Humanity, it would take more than that, with Esteban Vargas landing his dreaded Izuna Drop, a lot of military presses and enduring the Deadline to surprisingly catch Steve Phillips with one of his own favorite finishes: a counter rollup pin. if there was any question at this point if the New Humanity had finally figured things out, this match should have settled the matter.

The Mallard(MWWC), Rodeo Angel and El Froggy Mask vs. Exotico World Order(Valentina Verda, Martina Martinez and Vice Versa)

The EWO were on another level in this match, utterly dominating their opponents here with Vice Versa especially looking to be on top of her game. The Mallard had a nice run late in the match, only for Versa to put him away with a headscissors choke. The Lucha Trio have had a nice run up to this point, but a loss like this might keep them from a title shot for the near future.

Dominican Golden Championship #1 Contender Bout
Hailey Comet vs. Margarita Morales

While Margarita Morales certaninly got her shots in with this match, Hailey Comet was simply more motivated and caught her foe with a diving rana to secure her shot at the Dominican Golden Championship.

4H Debut
Cogburn Ranch(Hoss Hank Harcourt Hadley Jr, Duke Cogburn and Generlissimo Kool Q with Cowboy Johnston) vs. High Plains Drifters(Commissioner Walt Callahan, Johnny Sixname and Marcos Angulo)

4-H's debut was competent at best, but the High Plains Drifters were not to be trifled with on this night, and none more so than the Commissioner himself, with Walt Callahan knocking Duke Cogburn straight out with his Magnum Force brass knuckles assisted punch. Callahan undoubtedly sent a message to Morgan Matthews with such a finish, and if nothing else, seemed to have delighted in taking his irriation out on his old rivals.

Lil' Lariato vs. Luchador Sorpresa vs. Misterio Guerrero

Speed was the name of the game with these three quicksilver grapplers. This opened up the main card, and did so in style with some impressive moments, including a double corner to center lariat charge from Lariato and Guerrero leading into a stolen standing Magistral from Lariato nearly getting Sopresa afterwards. Lariato's snap up brainbuster and standing moonsault combination would send Sorpresa packing, and while Guerrero came close with a lariat of his own, a few slips out of the ring slowed the Mystery Warrior's momentum and an explosive short range lariat would earn the win for Lariato.

Preshow
The Everyman vs. Gunny Lee Hart

Just another day at work for the Everyman, who endured the knife edge chops and submissions of Gunny Lee before cranking on his Union Label standing guillotine for the win.

Preshow
Felice Santana vs. La Axolotl

A fairly routine showing from Felice Santana, who showcased her increasing confidence in outclassing Axolotl, countering her on the mat with a jackknife from top guard for the easy three before a spectacular celebration. Felice's extracurricular career as a streamer appears to have benefitted her in the ring as well, with a showing like this.

---

Match of the Night: Grizzly vs. Logan
-While the opening triple threat and the trios title match both delivered, and Comet-Morales was exciting for its short run time, there was no question which match earned this honor, with Canadian Grizzly defending his title against John Logan in a match that displayed as much spirit and grit as it did skill and willpower.

Performer of the Night: Canadian Grizzly
-This is the sort of a win that could outright propel the Golden Championship above the TIPWF's own Lone Star title, a win that could place the Canadian icon in the top five for the foreseeable future.

---

Injury Report

Duke Cogburn: Moderate Concussion (Three month medical suspension)
-Walt Callahan's Magnum Force brass knuckles punch flatlined Duke Cogburn, and one can imagine that the Cogburn Ranch founder will be especially irate at the prospects of sitting on the bench for the next three months

---

Kevin Anderson: This is Kevin "The Internet" Anderson, World Wrestling Daily Digest Editor in Chief, and we are proud to be back covering the Senatorial Office live on location. I understand that you played a major role in that development, Commissioner Walt Callahan.

Walt Callahan: You could say that.

Anderson: So, you have an announcement?

Callahan: I do. Next month, the Office is running Lariats and Legislators - July '21: Mid-Year Mayham. Aside from that damn awful name, there's something there that I believe the TIPWF fans should appreciate. And that's a Lone Star Heavyweight title match in the main event, and I figure I'm not the only one who's cheering on Jean-Pierre Mutombo to kick Rhodes's oversized ass and take the belt from him.

Anderson: You just knocked out Duke Cogburn earlier tonight, was that supposed to be a message to Midas Matthews?

Callahan: Could be. Also could just be that I didn't realize how hard I can still hit. Duke and I go back a long ways. He knows that I'll give him a rematch when he's cleared again. Either way, next time here at the Stockade, I figure that kinda sets me up to be the next person to take a shot at Leander Grey and the Old Guard title.

Anderson: Don't you worry that the rest of the roster might find that a bit self-indulgent, booking yourself for the belt?

Callahan: Nah. And if they do think it, then tough shit.

Anderson: So, in closing, it seems that the balance of power's shifted again in the Office, and you might now hold more individual sway than anyone else now. Do you have any plans to take advantage of that?

Callahan: What I plan to do is to run the TIPWF and let everyone else do their thing. We do pretty well here in Texas. And while being in the Office is good for us, we think the Office is better when it takes a big step back and lets the promotions do their own promoting. I don't plan on telling Biff Taylor how to run the PEWA. I also don't have any desire to make a superfed out of my business partners. If Midas can understand this, well, then maybe we can coexist for a while longer...

---

Senator Emeritus Steve Phillips: I do appreciate you taking a moment to speak, Mrs. Cogburn, but alas, my remarks shall be more pithy than expansive as of tonight. First and foremost, allow me to present the highest of compliments and a heartfelt round of congratulations to my opponent. Esteban Vargas proved once again that he is no flash in the pan, but instead, is indeed worthy of the grandiose title which serves as his nom de plume. What I encountered out there tonight was no common individual, not the type of a person the late, great Bobby Heenan would have referred to as a "ham and egger," but an athlete beyond comparison, a person who has finally channeled his drive and his ability into realizing the potential which preceded him to the ring, someone who has finally found his place in this promotion, yes, Mrs. Cogburn, what I encountered out there was nothing short of the New Humanity, and that, my friend, is nothing...but the truth.

Lily-Anne Cogburn: I always do love when my interviews conduct themselves.

---

El Experto: (Translated from Spanish) <Anyone who has eyes has to have seen how obvious it is. We hold all the power here. We do. We have the most dominant champion in the world. Colossus Rhodes lost one match to another promotion's champion, but he will never lose the Lone Star title! Because here, he is the centerpiece of my extraordinary plans, he is the focus of Rudo EX, he will destroy everything in his path and he does so at the forefront of a group that is willing to do anything, and I mean anything to maintain and grow our influence! We are Rudo EX! We are the single most...>

???: <Who has taken our interview room? This is our scheduled time to speak here...of course...yeah.>

Experto: <Pathetic! Salvador Sosa, your side was beaten within the walls of the Steel Corral! You have lost any privelge to speak in this room until I have finished! You can take your Rudo Army and turn away, or else we will finish what we started earlier, if that is what you want.>

Salvador Sosa: <Hey, guys, do you see anyone else in here? Any seven foot behemoths? Any bloodthirsty Aztecs? Any annoying wananbe frogs? Washed up pretty ladies? Dancing fools?>

The New Humanity: <I just see Experto.>

Canadian Grizzly: <Even through my bear mask, I am very sure that Experto is the only one here!>

Sosa: <So, you wanna bluff your way out. Don't worry. When we headed down here, I had a few things to say. I wanted to talk up the wins that my soldiers here racked up. Grizz just beat the Warrior Pro Heavyweight champ in one of the best matches of the year, looked like a real main event man. Vargas just beat the Senator, don't need to say more.>

Humanity: <Never felt better!>

Sosa: <Now, we could just kick your ass right now. Even if you have your pet giant in the other room, we could do it. But I'm not here to fight again. I'm here to make you an offer.>

Experto: <You dare to dictate to me?>

Sosa: <Yeah, I do. Because you and me, we've been at this too long without any conculsion. So, what I'm thinking, is that Lariats up next month, you, me, one on one, lucha de apuestas. Your mask, my hair. And whoever wins, that's the end of this.>

Experto: <Why should I agree to such a pathetic little proposal? Your hair, up against one of the most valuable masks in Lucha Libre? With the decades I have put into this? I think not. No, I reject your offer, and I spit upon it!>

Sosa: <Figures. Everyone knows you can't beat me in a fair fight. Everyone knows you can't handle your own business, not anymore. Rudo EX is a sham. Hiding behind corners, jumping people in the back, playing mind games, there's no honesty there. The Rudo Army, we know there's strength in numbers, but more importantly, that we're all strong on our own, and we prove it, too. Like Vargas beating Senator, Grizz beating Logan. Not like you and your cowardly tactics. That proves nothing.>

Experto: <You call me a coward? Fine, if that is what you believe, then I have a counter offer to make to you...my mask, against your Rudo Army. You lose, and your precious little goody two shoes stable gets scattered to the four winds.>

Sosa: <Why not put Rudo EX out there too, while we're at it?>

Experto: <Are you afraid now? Do you lack confidence in your own ability?>

Sosa: <Far as I'm concerned, it's a done deal. You and your mask. Me and my team. Lucha de Apuestas...in the Steel Corral.>

Experto: <I did not say anything about this being a cage match!>

Sosa: <I just did. You and me, Lucha de Apuestas, Steel Corral, Lariats, July '21. Let's settle this.>

Ring Beholder Exclusive
Digital Dave's Programming Notes: Senatorial Office(Wacker Drive Revival; Lightning Pro)
When: [Friday, June 11th: 8:00 PM Central Time)
Where: Wacker Drive Revival(Chicago, IL), Senatorial Streaming Service(https://www.twitch.tv/senatorphillips)

Dave's Thoughts:

-Make sure to show up on time, opening match is for the title. Christopher is a heavy favorite. He won this matchup before, and has only seemed stronger since, beating Colossus Rhodes. Hashi doesn't do anything he doesn't do better with only a slight edge in high flying. I expect a mildly competitive bout at best, likely scoring in the 80s.

-White Hot and Santiago/Nguyen has potential for a high rating if neither team gets too aggressive, too fast. Guest alert: Keiko Maeda(Phoenix Rising) for White Hot.

-The eight person tag will be a mess, but Worldwide Conquest are good at increasing match ratings.

-McMichaelson vs. DUDE has an outside chance at reaching towards the hundo, but more likely ends up closer to a dud with Train often being hit or miss and DUDE generally responding to what his opponent does.

-Six person tag is my pick for match of the night, if the mystery competitor is solid, this could easily hit the 90s. Lots of rumors on the mystery, most legit one is Steve Phillips who has allied with Tokugawa before, and is not booked, but my sources insist it is not him. Duo and Warriors generally bring out the best in each other, and I expect they do so again here for the most part.

-Main event is important for its ramifications, but I anticipate a dud. Iceberg is largely the worst possible matchup for Moonsault out of a pure striker. He not only has enough power to rag doll the seven footer, but has enough stamina to keep pressure up for the whole match and is fast enough to keep pace.

News Roundup: Senatorial Office
By Kevin "The Internet" Anderson

Cowboy Johnston and Hailey Comet released a public statement regarding Johnston's upcoming Warrior Pro team match between Johnston and Red Masterson against Doc Wyatt and Roy Carter:



The Destructive Duo have found that they are now besieged from two sides, with the arrival of the Rose Garden's former Shogun and Harada joining with long time rivals of Honda and Yamamoto in the Apocalyptic Warriors, while Worldwide Conquest have added Honda's arch-rival in recent title contender, Rumika Hashi, who has vowed to use the full power of the stable to bring the Duo down. Our own Dave Doolittle had the Duo on his venerable Ring Beholder podcast over the weekend to address the threats.


UCSS's newest star, Hakim Fields, and longtime mainstay, Francine Francis both showed up in an Associated Press article that's made the rounds.




And for this Friday, the SWA and UCSS once again open up the Doors of Perception with a debut title match for Hakim Fields and some important matches for the SWA's finest.


UCSS x SWA: Redemption Day
8:00 PM (CT) on Friday, June 18th at the Doors of Perception in Los Angeles, CA

Main Event: UCSS Openweight Title Bout
Andronicus Turner(C) vs. Hakim Fields
June 18th will truly be Redemption Day for one Hakim Fields, a man exonerated from blatantly false charges, who receives an instant shot at the top with a chance at Andronicus Turner and the UCSS Openweight title. Fields, having spent eight years incarcerated in Maryland, became a master of the 52 Blocks style while there, and has since trained several months at the Dangerous Gym with UCSS Commissioner, Dangerous Nicholas Alger to transition to pro wrestling. Although in his mid 40s, Fields's athleticism has reportedly impressed everyone who has witnessed his training, and is said to blend heavyweight power in the clinch with featherweight movement on his feet. Even so, this will be a major uphill battle against one of the most domineering champions in Office history in Andronicus Turner. Fields receives his shot primarily due to Turner having cleaned out the entire upper tier of the promotion, and his boxing has been as effective as anything that we have seen to date. Although a win for Fields would be the ultimate feel good story, a defeat here would not be shameful in the slightest.

Dag Boomer with Laurence Holland vs. July Eagle with Blan Fleming and Max Bertrand
Dag Boomer has promised to stand in as the gatekeeper for Laurence Holland and the SWA World Heavyweight title. He will have his first chance to do so here, with the All American Athletes looking to target the belt once again, and with the Modern Olympian, July Eagle in particular. Eagle's injury woes have kept him from reaching his top potential so far in the SWA, and the Boomer Bomb could certainly threaten another setback if it connects, but with Fleming and Bertrand at ringside, this one could get dicey.

Senator Emeritus Steve Phillips and Aoife Daley vs. Thiago Gracie and Jamie Tomasi
A dream match of sorts, and the first time that Steve Phillips teams with his significant other since returning to the ring, expect some fireworks on the feet from Daley and some brilliant mat exchanges from both sides here. The Thiago Gracie BJJ team could be next in line for the UCSS Tag belts with a win in this one, while Daley waits for her teammate in Red Alert, Leona Sterling to finish her grudge with Aline Richelieu. One thing is for sure, if Steve Phillips shows up here in the form which he quickly dispatched Phil Mercury, the Gracie team will be in trouble.

UCSS Rules
Johnny Warning(Rose Garden) vs. Victor Bosch
The throwback marvel, Johnny Warning will face the legend of the Eastern Bloc in Victor Bosch in a match that will clearly focus on technique above all else. Bosch may be somewhat past his physcial prime, but his skill is still as potent as ever, while Warning is quickly climbing up the ranks in the Rose Garden to forge his own legacy.

Candace Monroe(Phoenix Rising) and Dangerous Nicholas Alger with Ruthless Nicole Alger vs. The Infamous Ewan Jacobs and Frog Buster
Although Ruthless Nicole Alger is currently under medical suspension in the Office, Candace Monroe will still team up, this time, with her usual partner's father, the legendary Dangerous Nicholas Alger as the two take on a pair of potential Prestige Division foes for Monroe in Ewan Jacobs and Frog Buster. Jacobs has not been seen in action since receiving an absolute drubbing from Andronicus Turner, while Frog Buster remains both one of the most notable and hated members of the division, his sheer size making him a threat despite his questionable strike resistance.

Blade Saeba vs. Leonardo Pascual
The second of two matches pitting the Vanishing against Renacimiento, Blade Saeba goes up against Leonardo Pascual in a match that will test the agility of Saeba and the fortitude of Pascual. The impending title challenge from the Vanishing could pick up some major steam if they can sweep these matches, but even a single win from the heavy underdogs could also throw a wrench in the works if Renacimiento can gain a win.

Notorious vs. Oliver Espadas
The heavy hitting Notorious and the fast moving Espadas will open up the two match series between the SWA tag champs, Renacimiento and the upcoming challengers and former division defining team in the Vanishing. If Oliver Espadas cannot dictate the pace, expect this one to end quickly.

MATWORK(Cherry Blosssom Ikki and Thomas Lancashire with Mikazuki) vs. Gang Wong and Onika Santos
Two skilled grapplers and two athletic strikers will pair off here with the SWA's MATWORK team going up against the newly formed team of Wong and Santos, a melding of Kung Fu and Capoeira from the Shaolin Superstar and the Brazilian-Angolan dynamo. With MATWORK's experience edge, they might be the slight favorites, but against a former Openweight champ like Wong and a promising prospect like Santos, this could be a competitive contest.

Unsanctioned Dodecahedron Bout
Aline Richelieu vs. Leona Sterling(Phoenix Rising)
Suspended medically by the Senatorial Office's protocols, Aline Richelieu is not the type to simply sit back and dictate terms. Instead, irritated by her inability to knock out Leona Sterling in last week's royale, and with Sterling herself chomping at the bit for a second chance in this matchup, Richelieu will receive her match, off site, and unsanctioned. While the cameras will be rolling, no officials will be present, and the rules will be simple: knockout or tap out.

---

Andronicus Turner: Let me just say a few things here. First off, no matter what's going on, I defend this belt, every month. Every. Single. Month. No exceptions. Doesn't matter, in UCSS or in Golden Touch, I defend the Openweight. I've shown everyone why boxing is the sport of kings, why there's no style that I can't beat with the training Emanuel Steward gave me. I beat everyone that UCSS had for me, now they're bringing people in. That's fine. I'll take on every one of them. Hakim Fields, that man has a story. Full respect. But don't think I'm not going to look to put him down just like the rest. And next week, my guys, Jumbo Butt and Violence Valdez, the Sweet Science Society are going to pay a visit to Golden Touch, going up against Strong Style Royalty, G.P. Christopher and Ali Ahmed Mehrmohammdi. That's going to be just a taste of what GPC's getting when he and I go to war at Lariats in July. I'll hold off about the rest of that stuff now, because you only fight one battle at a time, and someone like Hakim Fields, I can't take him for granted, no matter who I beat. But you all know, no matter how much I pushed back, yeah, I'm still getting hyped up for the GPC match...getting that Number One.

---

Hakim Fields: I don't like talking much before a fight. A little lesson I learned in the last decade. But let me just thank Francine Francis, she got me out and she got me here. That's a woman who deserves all the credit in the world. She's fixing some wrongs in this world, and doing right. And also, I'll throw a shout out to my man, DNA, Dangerous Nicholas Alger. He didn't just sign me up, he brought me into his gym and personally trained me so I could bring 52 Blocks into pro wrestling. He's one of the good ones. Andronicus Turner, I've seen what you can do. Hits fast, hits hard, no bull. I've seen him beat just about everyone around. He might beat me. This is his turf, he knows how to win. But I know how to survive. We'll see how this goes, because no matter what you throw at me, I'm not backing down and I'm not going to stop coming at you until it's over.

---

July Eagle: Dag Boomer thinks he can stand in my way here.

Max Bertrand: He's an idiot!

Eagle: Dag held that belt for a minute. But nobody's going to remember that in a year. I held Olympic Gold. That's something that lasts past your lifetime.

Blanchard Fleming: Tell them what the truth is, they can't handle it, but tell them anyway!

Eagle: I don't have the chip on my shoulder that my friends here have on theirs, but that's fine. I don't need it. All I need to know is that I'm good enough to be the World champ. I'm good enough to beat the World champ. And you can delay that, Dag, but when I get through you, then there's nothing between me and Laurence Holland and that SWA World Heavyweight title. And Holland...who is he? A career midcard tag guy who got lucky. When you're against me, you better hope that luck holds out...because I intend to make it run out, and run out quickly.

---

Aline Richelieu: You pitiful little cretin, how dare you tell me I am unwelcome!

Dangerous Nicholas Alger: Um, you're not cleared. Means you don't wrestle.

Aline: "Wrestle." I do not "wrestle." I am a graceful Savate artist who paints a vivid portrait with my feet and the bodies of my mismatched opposition!

DNA: We're a wrestling company. It's wrestling. Even if you kick. I kick. I'm good at it. But I'm a wrestler.

Aline: I do not care what you call yourself, you loathsome man-thing! I require that you fulfill my request!

DNA: I'm in charge here. Which means, it's my call. Not yours. Mine.

Aline: I will tell you exactly what you will do, and what you will do is that you will provide a set of cameras and you will have a pit placed outside of your dilapidated venue. And you will provide me this Scotswoman for me to do with as I please!

DNA: Uh...

Aline: It is decided! Really, if you did not waste so much of my time, this would have been so much easier! I will take my leave now, please make sure to ensure the details are all properly taken care of.

DNA: Um...I think I'm in charge here. I think...

As Aline leaves Alger's office, she nearly hits her head on the door frame, barely ducking under in time...just in time to collide with one "Big Banter" Rory Banner.

Aline: Comment oses-tu! Excusez-vous, espèce de petite merde stupide pour les cerveaux!

Rory Banner: You ran into me, you towering bloody...er...

Banner looks up at Richelieu after clearing his head, and his demeanor instantly changes.

Banner: Well, hello, my name is Rory Banner, and not only am I descended of noble English blood, but I am the head of the multinational Big Banter Brand a multidisciplinary management group that can and will find the best opportunities for top class athletes, a category which I am certain you belong to. Now, I know we hardly got off to the, um, right step here, but here's my business card...with my number on it...did I mention my number is on this card?

Richelieu looks down at Banner and snatches up the card between her thumb and index finger, holding it up to her face and examining it with a crinkled expression before tossing it back at Banner and wiping off her fingers with a handkerchief.

Banner: I should tell you, I am a former champion here!

Without a word, Aline turned on a heel and stomped away, leaving an uncharacteristically wordless Banner in the dust. Stepping out of his office, DNA took a look at his long time rival, shaking his head.

DNA: Damn. That had to hurt. Worse than when I Dangerous Kicked you outta your head at Lariats #10. You know. The time you tried to take my job. But you didn't. Because I knocked you out.

Gritting his teeth, Banner turned around and kicked over a trash can as he stormed off to the sound of Alger's barely-contained chuckle.[/quote]

Textbook's Corner: Turner vs. Fields
By "Textbook" Tim Dwight

Typically, in Textbook's Corner, I detail specific techniques and break them down for the general public. However, this time around, I'm going to take a broader analysis concerning tonight's main event UCSS Openweight title match between Andronicus Turner and Hakim Fields, looking into the strengths and weaknesses each competitor has and what the keys to victory are for each man.

*Andronicus Turner*
Turner has been the Openweight champion since defeating Rory Banner back in December of last year. He has since proven himself beyond a shadow of a doubt to be the best pure striker in all of professional wrestling, beating a wide variety of foes from nearly every conceivable style the UCSS had to throw at him. Turner has come a long way since his stint in the short-lived but beloved HONOO promotion and is on the verge of a Number One Ranking match against G.P. Christopher. Simply put, he may already be the finest champ in UCSS history.

-Strengths: Turner has fast hands and moves well in the ring. He is rarely cornered or grounded for extended periods of time, even by pure grapplers like Jamie Tomasi. He has proven superior to speedy punchers like Ewan Jacobs, multi-level strikers in Virgil de Boer and effortlessly dealt with the length and height of Aline Richelieu. If he hits anyone, there is a chance he ends the match.

-Weaknesses: Looking at his matches since he won the title, Turner is as one-dimensional as they come, and only has one gameplan. If he cannot knock out his opponent, or knock them down long enough for a three count, he may eventually find himself in trouble. While Turner is adept on the inside, he clearly prefers to fight at mid-range.

-Keys to Victory: Andronicus Turner does his best work darting in and out, using his educated footwork to set up brisk combinations and his thudding overhand. I could go over just why the Kronk Overhand is effective, but it's rather simple: he throws it from unorthodox angles, sets it up intelligently and hits with high velocity.

*Hakim Fields*
I have been priveldged to have been able to see several sessions of Fields's training at the Dangerous Gym, and as a result, I can fill the readers in a bit on what to expect. Most likely, you've not really seen a fighter in pro wrestling exactly like this man. I watched him run a gauntlet betwen three sparring partners for over five rounds, and none of the three could so much as land a solid strike on him or effectively take him down. Fields likes to fight in close and use simple effective trips and throws out of the clinch, along with some distinctively sharp elbows and forearms that he uses both to parry incoming attacks and return fire with his own.

-Strengths
What I've seen from Fields is that he is, and I am not exaggerating, the single fastest moving heavyweight that I have ever encountered in person. He moves as fast as a lightweight and yet, is crushingly strong inside. His physicality allows him to dominate exchanges against more experienced grapplers. His 52 Blocks techniques allow him to almost entirely nullify strikers, and his crushing inside pressure makes it difficult for anyone to establish space.

-Weaknesses
This is still the first match Hakim Fields will have in a pro wrestling ring, and his inexperience in the environment could show under the bright lights. He doesn't have many options at range other than to close the distance. Fields seems a bit too confident in his ability to operate with impunity in the ring, and may leave openings against top level opposition who can bring more to the table than his sparring partners.

-Keys to Victory
Get inside, get inside, get inside! This is a must for Fields, and if he can establish his clinch, Fields should look to open a cut with his elbows before implementing one of the two main go-to moves I witnessed, either a series of downward elbows from sprawl that could knock the sense out of anyone, or the takedown reverse full nelson hold that he told me that he has titled the "Cell Block Lock." In any case, it is a must that Fields use his speed to keep Turner from maintaining distance and use his strength to keep him in his preferred range.

*In Summary
Andronicus Turner is the clear favorite in this match, and rightfully so. He is the established competitor and the champion. But I can't help but to root a little bit for Hakim Fields. His story is remarkable and I can confirm that in-person, he comes across as the sort of a man that you want to see succeed at the highest level. Andronicus Turner has beaten a long list of varying foes, but he has never fought someone who is as adept at defending his main strength as Fields is, and because of that, I am going out on a limb and saying that this could be one of the best matches the UCSS has ever seen, and could even end up in one of the great upsets in promotion history.

---

G.P. Christopher: Tonight I got Desire in the Preliminary Main Event over in Sakura.  Funny thing, we're both zero and two out there.  The boss lady and the Number One can't buy a win yet.  Doesn't seem right.  But that's fine, nobody wins every match in this game, and it's about time I get back to my usual winning ways.  Desire, she's tough and nasty, no doubt about it.  Going to give me a real fight, do her best to mess me up.  But anyone who thinks I'm not ready for that forgets where I came from.  I got these scars on my chest for the rest of my life from the Bingo Hall Mutants putting me through burning barbed wire tables in Philly BBQ matches!  I went toe to toe with the most brutal hardcore maniacs on the face of the planet!  Philly Strong Style's not just about hitting hard and showing fighting spirit, it's about being willing to jump head first into the fire!  It's about looking for every challenge out there, the tougher, more dangerous it is, the faster you go for it!  That's why I beat Colossus Rhodes!  That's why I'm the Number One!  And that's why I'm going to climb back in this Grand Prix, one match at a time, starting with Desire tonight, and keeping it going with every Preliminary Main Event, every week, going forward from here!  Don't count me out just yet, I'm just getting warmed up.

---

Ewan Jacobs: This is a waste of time tonight! I have to fight in a tag team match? Where's the big money, where's the spotlight? Where's the red panty night? I belong on the big stage, I belong in the title matches!

Frog Buster: This is a joke. Just like the two we fight tonight. Just like me having to work with a little runt like you.

Jacobs: Runt? You're a big bloated fooker, ain't you? It doesn't matter! I could knock your head clean off! Head clean off!

Buster: Save it for the old geezer and the bitch who has the Prestige belt!

Jacobs: I don't need to save anything! I can knock you out, and knock them both out in the same night! I'm unbeatable! I'm the Infamous Ewan Jacobs! KILL RIP MAME TEAR! KILL RIP MAME TEAR! KILL RIP MAME TEAR!

Buster: I'll rip you in two! I'll ragdoll you like a...like a ragdoll! I'll take you to Buster City, bitch!

Jacobs: Just try it! Try it!

---

Senator Emeritus Steve Phillips: Welcome, one and all, constituents and supporters of the Senatorial Office, of Universal Combat Shoot Style and the Spike Wrestling Association, I am, as you may already know, your former Senator, Steve Phillips and accompanying me here is the incomparabily beautiful and remarkably talented Irish Firecracker, Aoife Daley.

Aoife Daley: Lay it on a bit thick, why don't you?

Phillips: I merely speak as I believe.

Aoife: Instead of buttering me up, why don't we get to why we're here!

Phillips: I shall endeavor to do so in my own good time, but because you insist so graciously, very well then, we are here to remind one and all that you may see us, and the exceptional competitors of UCSS and the SWA tonight at eight o' clock, Central Time on the one and only Senatorial Streaming Service! Tonight, you will witness the Redemption Day for one Mr. Hakim Fields, who makes his promotional debut by testing himself against the best of the best as he takes on the Kronk Legacy, Andronicus Turner in the main event, and yes, the UCSS Openweight title is indeed at risk in this contest.

Aoife: Turner's good, but I know I can beat him!

Phillips: Ahem.

Aofie: Fine, I'll do the next few! Dag Boomer's gatekeeping for the SWA champ, his teammate, Laurence Holland, and he's gonna fight an Olympic Gold Medalist, July Eagle to do that! Johnny Warning is "a splendid example of a vintage approach modified for the modern day." Ok, Steve, I'm sorry, but I can't even rephrase that, this is not how I speak, or ever want to speak!

Phillips: To each their own, I say. Mr. Warning will bring his time tested skills up against a legend of the Eastern Bloc, the great practitioner of Combat Sambo, Victor Bosch.

Aoife: And while Ruthless Nicole sits out, her own father jumps in to team with Candace Monroe with them going up against two total arseholes from the SWA, Ewan Jacobs and Frog Buster! I hope the old man knocks that big bloated muscle head into next week and Candace rips off that loudmouth's leg at the knee...or the hip socket! I hate that people see Ireland and think he represents all of us! He is such an obnoxious, loud, crass...

Phillips: "She who fights with monsters might take care, lest she thereby become..."

Aoife: Don't you dare paraphrase Nietzsche at me! We are not getting into a quote war in the middle of a shill session! Do not make this mistake again!

Phillips: "A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." James Joyce, I do believe. A fellow countryman of yours that you should actually take some pride in, if I do say so, myself.

Aofie: Oh, piffle on that. Go discover the rest of the matches!

Phillips: If you instruct...both of the Vanishing seek their return to the pinnace of the promotion in their quest to regain the SWA Tag Team championship, and the next step on their path shall be to individually challenge each of the current champions in Renacimiento, Leonardo Pascual facing Blade Saeba and Notorious going up against Oliver Espadas in several matches that I personally believe will not only be enjoyable to behold, but will establish the nature of their impending collision over the belts. And although the UCSS and the Senatorial Office will not officially sanction the opening fight, we will yet provide footage of an off-site no holds barred battle within the confines of the dodecahedron between Aoife's good friend, Leona Sterling and the French Savate sensation, Aline Richelieu.

Aoife: Forgetting something, aren't we?

Phillips: Illuminate me, shall you?

Aoife: With Leona busy with that overgrown piece of work, Steve and I have our first match teaming here in UCSS! And we will destroy Thiago Gracie's team!

Phillips: Now, I have the utmost respect for Mr. Gracie, a dear friend of mine for many years, and a true innovator in this sport, just as Jamie Tomasi will continue to push the limits of the art of matwork within professional wrestling for years to come.

Aoife: I just want to knock them both out and stomp on their faces! Save your respect, I want to see you drop them on their heads!

Phillips: Aoife, do not take this the wrong way...in actuality, any words that generally follow that phrase are ill-received at very best, so I shall simply allow you to retain your typical match day demeanor.

Aoife: And what is that?

Phillips: Borderline homicidal, tripwire temper, I think, nay, I know that you are more than a bit self-aware in this regard.

Aoife: Fine! I admit it! That's how I approach my matches! And if you approached your match with the New Humanity like that, maybe you woulda beat him!

Phillips: Perhaps so, but perhaps you sell him drastically short in that instance, as well. In any case, we are now wasting the time of the people out there, and I shall not do that any more than we already have. I humbly ask anyone who is still watching to tune into the Senatorial Streaming Service tonight, and if you do so, I believe you will not be disappointed, and that my friends, is nothing...

Aoife: But the truth.