It's March Madness time!!!... oh, right.

I'd suggest using spoiler tags for posts that have a large amount of images, if only to keep the posts looking relatively clean. Past that, I don't think I've ever personally hit the limit, and occasionally my show results or edit topic can fill up. Looking forward to seeing how this turns out!

It's always a pleasure to see you two fine gentlemen again as well, you're probably the only two people here who even remember who I am :P

Anyways lets' get this show on the road! First round results for the first region (a.k.a. me figuring out what the heck I'm doing!)

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1. Lou Thesz (Kansas) vs. 16. Stalker Ishikawa (Robert Morris/NC Central)



Stalker Ishikawa has made his name by facing the biggest legends in professional wrestling. And losing. He has lost to a literal who's who of professional wrestling over his long career, and tonight he got the chance to face another legend, Lou Thesz. Would this be yet another loss for Stalker, or would his particular brand of monkeyshines throw off the classic grappler and open the door for one of the greatest upsets in the history of sports and/or entertainment?





...Of course he lost. Thesz the number one overall seed was having none of it, playing with Stalker for a bit (and by playing I mean grinding him to dust) before mercifully finishing him off with a back suplex.



8. The Miz (Arizona St.) vs. 9. Scott Hall (Florida)



The story of this match was that Miz was in control as long as he stuck to his wrestling, but whenever Hall would catch him with a punch Miz would try to respond in kind. Hall would then gain control as he is much better equipped for a fist fight, until Miz would again counter with wrestling, get punched in the face again and once more lose control of his emotions. It seemed like it'd be am easy win for Scott Hall until...





...Miz kinda lost it and erupted in a fury of brawling and violence I didn't quite think he had in him. He tossed Hall out of the ring, bashed him repeatedly with a bit of broken table, gouged his eyes repeatedly in the ring, it really was quite impressive. That loss of control did eventually prove costly though as a lapse in judgement gave Scott Hall the opportunity to accidentally place his foot right into Miz's groin, at which point the fire went out and a chokeslam soon after advanced Scott Hall to the next round.



5. Sid (Wisconsin) vs. 12. Zack Sabre Jr. (ETSU)



There was really no mystery as to how this would go. Zach Sabre Jr. came into this with his limitless arsenal of intricate submission holds and Sid came in with a few devastating moves he would try and use to smash ZSJ to a pulp with. Then the first move in the match was a Sid abdominal stretch and I got confused for a bit.





After that initial shock it went how one would expect, Sid using his power to try and smash while Zack tried to slowly break Sid down with various holds and strikes until he was capable of finally being put away. Eventually Zack's path proved to be the more effective of the two as while he could not get the sub he slowed Sid down to the point where he somehow managed to hit the big man with the dragon suplex, and while Sid managed to just escape from that the PK that followed left no doubt.



4. Braun Strowman (Kentucky) vs. 13. Jinsei Shinzaki (Vermont)



Braun Strowman posed an interested challenge to Jinsei Shinzaki: how can you possibly battle someone who more closely resembles a mountain than a man?





Obviously the answer was to bait Braun into chasing him all around the ring, duck a clothesline, stun him with a pele kick and just make it back into the ring by the count of 20.



6. Masato Tanaka (Illinois) vs. 11. The Bodyguard (Cincinnati)



Masato Tanaka is a fairly known quantity by this point but I'd wager a good number of people have no idea who The Bodyguard is as sadly few keep up with modern era All Japan Pro Wrestling. There really is only one thing you have to know about him...


He's strong.



Bodyguard blitzed Tanaka right at the opening bell and quickly overwhelmed him with his power. Repeatedly pressing him over his head, often dropping him straight into powerslams, Tanaka quickly found himself in a fight or flight situation and responded by uncorking just about every big shot he had at his disposal. It didn't matter. Crack him in the jaw with an elbow? No sold. Hit a twisting brainbuster? Bodyguard popped to his feet immediately. Eventually Masato Tanaka got desperate, tossed Bodyguard to the floor and...



...drove his skull straight into the floor with his Complete Dust finisher.  That finally put him down... but only for a second. He got again up, powerslammed Tanaka on the floor as payback, tossed his limp body into the ring, hit a running big splash and got the academic three count.



I guess that makes a second thing you have to know about him: he's scary.



3. Kensuke Sasaki (Duke) vs. 14. Hector Garza (Little Rock)



This was actually a surprisingly one-sided battle for the most part. If you'd have told me that before the match I'd have assumed that meant that Kensuke chopped poor little Garza to death.





Instead Kensuke was completely unable to deal with Garza's speed and aside from a few big bombs that landed and almost swung things his way Kensuke went down with surprising ease.



7. Kenta Kobashi (Michigan) vs. 10. Matt Jackson (Utah St)



Really we all know this match would come down to who hit more of their favorite strike: Kobashi and his chops or Matt Jackson and his superkicks.





...Matt Jackson's chest lost. He pretty much got chopped in every way imaginable and while a near-miss Burning Hammer attempt scared Matt into a fairly impressive run of offense (including yes, a few superkicks) eventually Kobashi caught him with the lariat and that was that.



2. Katsuyori Shibata (Creighton) vs. 15. Icarus (Belmont)



Wow, somehow the selection committee managed to put Icarus, one of the most annoying wrestlers of his era who everyone who watched Chikara wanted to see beaten horribly, against Shibata, a man capable of delivering some of the most horrible beatings. Funny how that worked out.





The match started very satisfying with Shibata repeatedly hitting Icarus in his smug little face. And then it all fell apart. Icarus somehow managed to land a couple pedigrees and then just proceeded to hit top rope moves onto a fallen Shibata over and over again, almost like his logic was both effective yet somewhat broken. He crashed onto Shibata's prone body so many times that when he eventually tried to pick him up in a front face lock his body was so limp that he decided to just hit him with the dreaded elbow to the back of the head and finish the match that way.



It makes sense when you think about it, of course one of the most annoying wrestlers in the world would win in the most unsatisfying way imaginable, that's just who he is.

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Looking back at how this first round played out in this region it is striking that the favorites only won two out of the eight contests. Anything can happen but if you are a big fan of either Lou Thesz or Kansas it looks like all of the toughest competition has fallen by the wayside. Will the favorite in the region march to the Final Four relatively unopposed, or in the midst of all of these upsets is there a cinderella ready to shock the world? Find out... well not next time, next time is more first round action. Find out four or five times from now~!

Couple quick thoughts after doing a couple of these:

1) A bunch of the match write-ups have been rather thin. It's probably a combination of having to get through 32 first round matches and me being rusty as heck at this (plus I generally need a couple tourney matches for wrestler trends and narratives to emerge) but I can probably do a bit more with them. Later rounds will have less matches and hence each one should get more time. Maybe. Probably.

2) Things have gone up rather sporadically. Part of this was due to having actual work during the weekend, part is buying time to sim the rest of the first 32 person tourney before I could get to simming the first round for the next 32 person tourney but I should be able to put up something daily moving forward.

Anyways I'm feeling a bit more comfortable doing these now and looking ahead I think we've got some good stuff coming in the near future. With that out of the way, on to the first round matches for region three!

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1. Big Van Vader (Baylor) vs. 16. Junji.com (Boston U)


I am gonna level with you: I don't know who Junji.com is or why his name is like that. I am pretty sure that Vader also doesn't know, nor does he care as I doubt he ever does about the poor fools trapped in the ring with him. That said this Junji fellow proved to be game and had a gameplan: every chance he'd get he'd dive for one of Vader's limbs and try to work it over, escaping before Vader could retaliate. It was a good plan.






The problem as always is what happens when Vader catches you. Junji likely succeeded in making Vader's arm and leg sore, but when a man of Vader's size grabs you from behind in a wastelock and tosses you clean from the ring to the floor a whole lot of you is gonna be more than just sore. Back in the ring some clubbering followed by a big splash put Junji out of his misery and Vader into the next round.



8. Michael PS Hayes (Marquette) vs. 9. Shawn Michaels (Arizona)

This battle between the two self-proclaimed sexiest men alive on its surface seemed relatively cut and dry. You look at the two men and you'd think there is no way that Michael PS Hayes could beat the younger, faster, more athletic HBK Shawn Michaels in a fair fight. Michael Hayes had a secret though...



He had no interest in a fair fight.






Be it with a poke in the eye or a slap across the face Hayes made sure to dirty things up every opportunity he had to. Michaels kept things together fairly well for the opening minutes but after a cheap shot right between his legs he decided he had enough and decided that two could play this game. What initially resembled a wrestling match transformed quite quickly into a barroom brawl with the two men constantly throwing hands at the other, only stopping to gouge at eyes or kick at testicles. In this environment Hayes felt at home, eventually dropping Michaels with a series of punches and finishing him off with a leaping piledriver.



5. Tetsuya Naito (Ohio St.) vs. 12. Barry Windham (Yale)



At one point in time Windham was considered to be someone with perhaps more natural gifts than anyone else competing in the world, much like Naito is today. The only real question for either man was would they be able to harvest it, or would it all go to waste. For Windham that question was answered years ago with an answer he didn't much care for and looking across the ring at Naito, at someone who appears to be taking the other better path, you can just feel the bitterness dripping off of him.



Windham can hold his own against any opponent in any style yet here he doesn't even bother to try. Early on he catches Naito with a low blow, later on he pokes him in the eye, any shortcut presented is a shortcut taken as he just trash talks Naito while doing so. He takes particular pleasure in vertical suplexing Naito, repeatedly dumping him on his back when he isn't engaging in other less moral tactics. In the face of all this Naito maintains his tranquilo, but it may be coming at the cost of losing the battle.






Eventually though every man has his breaking point and after one too many cheapshots followed by a Texas hook 'em taunt right in his face Naito slaps Windham so hard across the face that the sound echoes throughout the entire arena. Naito attacks but unlike Windham he uses all that ability he is blessed with to make Windham pay. A Windham lariat is caught and floated over into a ddt, followed up with a spinning neckbreaker and an impressive dragon suplex that gained Naito a 2.9 count. It all seems to be going his way...






...until Windham just starts digging his thumb right into Naito's eyes and refuses to let go! The ref eventually has to pull Windham off of him but the damage is done, Naito screaming and unable to see. After Windham is done threatening the ref for laying his hands on him he hooks Naito for yet another vertical suplex, a smirk across his face. He picks him up but Naito manages to shift his weight in mid-air, float over and hit a bridging german suplex for the 3 count! He rolls out of the ring immediately afterwards as he still can't see well but despite everything he still managed to dig deep and pull off the victory!



4. Earthquake (Butler) vs. 13. Outback Jack (Bradley)



I have no earthly idea why Outback Jack would look across the ring at the massive former sumo Earthquake and think "he's not that much bigger than me" but that is the only explanation I have for his approach in this match. From the bell he did his best to shove Earthquake around, to prove that he was the big dog in this yard.






Nothing encapsulated this better than what I can only describe as the battle of the bear hugs. Jack managed to wrap his arms around Earthquake's sizable torso and put the squeeze on him, just for Earthquake to shift his arms and shift the bear hug back onto Jack himself. Jack, stubborn as he could possibly be would not accept this and switched the bear hug back onto Earthquake.
..





...at which point he somehow managed to pick the well over 400 pound titan up and over with a belly to belly suplex! Earthquake got back up in disbelief only to be belly to belly suplexed a second time! Literally the only person in the arena not stunned by this turn of events was Jack himself who hit the ropes to follow up and... leapt right into Earthquake's arms and found himself slammed onto the mat with all of the big man's weight on top of him. An Earthquake splash followed and gained the 3 count but you have to tip your hat to Outback Jack who almost pulled off the monumental upset in the most unexpected of fashions.



6. Erick Rowan (Virginia). vs. 11. Aleister Black (Richmond/Witchita St)



One second, I've just been informed that Erick Rowan wanted it publicly known that he is dedicating his performance in this tournament to the memory of his giant pet spider. That's... nice?



Odd as it may seem the loss of his caged creature seems to have lit a fire under Rowan as he opens the match just tossing Black across the ring with ease. Aleister tries to respond with a kick but Rowan just slaps it away before planting him with a face first chokeslam. A series of slams follows and Black appears to be in legit trouble.






Black finally manages to stun Rowan with a high kick and unleashes a striking combo that ends with a leaping knee that drops Rowan, but the big man proves too hard to keep down and an eventual backbreaker finishes off Black for good. I'm sure the spider is looking down or up from wherever it is and... smiling?
Do spiders smile?


3. Stan Hansen (Maryland) vs. 14. Papi Chulo (UC Irvine)



I've been fortunate in my life that I've never had the misfortune of having to witness a bear mauling, but if I ever did I assume it would look a lot like what Stan Hansen did to poor Papi Chulo.





There isn't a lot to dress up here, Stan Hansen beat this poor man senseless. He was in a particularly sour mood as he didn't even bother to try and pin Papi after a lariat nearly removed his head from his shoulders, instead deciding to play with his food a bit more. Papi eventually landed a kick and tried to press his luck with a hurricanrana but ended up folded in half by a powerbomb instead and with that it was mercifully over.



7. Tomohiro Ishii (Providence) vs. 10. Psycho Clown (LSU)



If you've ever wanted to see Tomohiro Ishii fight a clown boy do I have some good news for you!



It turns out that Ishii really hates clowns as he laid in some just plain cruel chops and forearms that... wait I've just been handed a note, Ishii is like this every match. Moving on! Clown got his licks in, including a very nice whipping ranna counter that sent ishii spilling to the outside, but mostly it was Ishii's raining blows down upon him.






Clown eventually began to seize some momentum back for himself off of some hip tosses and a quebradora backbreaker, but this just seemed to make Ishii even surlier. He tossed Clown over the top rope, followed him outside and splatted him on the floor with a powerbomb. While obviously bad for Psycho Clown this seemed to awaken in him the realization of exactly what kind of fight he found himself in as the next time he managed to knock Ishii down he proceeded to stomp on his head one, two, three, four, five times in a row! Ishii finding himself on the receiving end of his own medicine fought back with a jumping enzuigiri but found himself dropped with a big vertical suplex. Psycho Clown leapt to the top rope and came down with a frog splash that drove all the wind out of Ishii and got the 3 count! Send in the clowns to the next round where they will face the winner of our final first round match in this region...



2. John Cena (Florida St.) vs. 15. Haruka Eigen (N. Kentucky)



Haruka Eigen, the long term opening match comedy specialist, entered the ring like he did so many times before over the years, sized up his opponent and knew exactly what he had to do. He danced around John Cena, hitting him with open hand slaps across the chest and daring him to respond in kind. When Cena did he was greeted by a large gob of spit that shot out of Eigen's mouth in response.



Cena then dropped Eigen, dusted off his shoulder and hit the five knuckle shuffle and Eigen... stayed lying there. Cena hit the ropes and dropped a second fist and Eigen remained on the mat. Cena had never had an opponent not rise to his feet after receiving one of those so he dropped a third one but no, Eigen refused to rise to his feet. Not sure what to do Cena went to pull Eigen to his feet...






...but Eigen swept his legs out from under him and spun him around in a giant swing! Round and round they went and when they finally stopped... well Eigen's head would not stop spinning as he dizzily stumbled all over himself. In fact he stumbled right into a much less dizzy John Cena who picked him up into the AA and got the three count. John Cena celebrated his win but on his back Eigen smiled to himself at a job well done.

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Night 3 is complete and chalk was the big winner tonight as almost every favorite won, the only minor upset being in the 7-10 matchup. We had some big statement wins from Vader, Rowan and Hansen and a pair of gutty performances from Naito and Psycho Clown, but we will have to wait and see what the future holds for these men until a future night as next time we wrap up the opening round of the tournament with the last set of first round matches.

If it makes you feel any better Randy Savage utterly dominated the first 5 or so minutes of that match... and then the rest happened.

Anyways no build-up, let's finish up the rest of our first round matches with the fourth and final region!

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1. Toshiaki Kawada (Gonzaga) vs. 16. Shun Skywalker (Siena /Prairie View)



A tournament like this must seems like such a wonderful opportunity for someone like a Shun Skywalker. You normally toil about in relative obscurity and then you are given a chance to compete against a who's who of professional wrestling, a chance to stand on the big stage and measure yourself against the very best.



And then you find out that your first round opponent is Toshiaki Kawada, a man who seemingly never experiences emotions such as fun or pleasure and looks to eliminate them in any unfortunate soul who crosses his path.






Still you didn't show up to not give it an honest shot, even if that shot includes stiff kicks that rattle your spine or holds that attempt to twist your torso a full 180 degrees around. You fight through the pain, get in a few shots of your own and even manage to lay him out with a vertical suplex. You seize your chance and ascend to the top rope and hit a quick rotation moonsault to the back, followed by a second!



Kawada manages to get back up to a knee before pinning him is even an option, a slight grin on his face. It isn't one of mirth, unfortunately, but one that says "Oh so you want to play now? Let's." Your reward for you effort is a foot upside your head the eliminates your equilibrium, followed by a lariat that you worry may have dislocated your jaw before you even realize that your opponent's theme is playing and the match is over. You slowly make your way to the back, taking inventory of your potential injuries and yet only one thought is rattling through your head: man I hope they invite me back again next year.



8. Diamond Dallas Page (Houston) vs. 9. Kerry Von Erich (Colorado)



A spirited start to this contest as the two fan favorites Diamond Dallas Page and The Modern Day Warrior Kerry Von Erich square off, each man showing respect towards the other but making no bones about wanting the victory. DDP maneuvers Von Erich into the corner and ascends to the middle rope to rain down some punches, stopping before the ref counts five. Von Erich nods while still in the corner and when DDP steps back towards him to follow up he gets tossed into the corner himself and Von Erich begins to smash his head into the top turnbuckle repeatedly, also stopping just before the ref's count hits five.






DDP takes this less well than Von Erich did moments prior and shoves him in the chest, Von Erich walks up to him like he is gonna shove him back but instead takes the opportunity to lock on the iron claw! DDP scrambles and manages to get his hand on the ropes, eyes wide in a mix of shock and terror as the hold is released. DDP starts to back away and when Von Erich starts to walk him down Page catches him and overhead belly to belly suplexes him right into the corner. DDP pulls him up and lands a series of punches before... dropping Von Erich with his own discuss punch?!?



Things have officially begun to get heated as Page throws more punches at Von Erich but catches a flurry in response, culminating in Von Erich showing DDP what a true discuss punch is supposed to look like. Page goes flying off it and Von Erich covers, but only gets a 2.9 count. Von Erich raises his hand in anticipation of locking on the iron claw once more, this time in the center of the ring but instead walks right into a diamond cutter! DDP jumps on top and hooks the leg for the 1, 2... 2.9 count!






DDP's hands are on his head in disbelief, shocked that the match is still continuing. He pulls up Von Erich but Von Erich's hand shoots up and catches Page in the iron claw once more! DDP's feet are hopping in agony but he finds the wherewithal to kick Von Erich in the gut to break the hold and hit a sit out powerbomb for the 1, 2... 2.9 again! Page curses to himself as Von Erich refuses to stay down and begins to unload punches onto Von Erich, but Von Erich is the wrong man to get in a fist fight with as he fires back and sends page scrambling back towards the ropes. Von Erich follows, blocks a punch and locks on the iron claw yet again but DDP's arm is wrapped around the top rope and he immediately pulls himself out of the ring as the ref pulls Von Erich's hand off of his head.



DDP takes a second to collect himself outside the ring, rolls himself back in and immediately jumps up to catch Kerry Von Erich in a second diamond cutter! DDP turns him over and gets the 1, 2... 3! DDP raises his arms in victory and then checks on Von Erich, now feeling just a bit guilty at having lost his temper. Von Erich tells him that he's okay and that they're cool, and rolls out of the ring and gives DDP some applause along with the rest of the crowd as they wish him the best in the next round.



5. Bob Backlund (Penn St.) vs. 12. Norman Smiley (SF Austin)



This was quite the technical battle as these two grapplers decided to test their technique against one another. Backlund repeatedly utilized back leg trips to bring Smiley to the mat, with Smiley favoring body slams to set up his short arm scissors. This initial stalemate was broken by Smiley's better proficiency when it came to strikes, including uncorking a pair of rolling elbows that dimmed Backlund's lights. Still any advantage gained was a short-lived one as these two men proved to be quite evenly matched.



Eventually after a dozen minutes of this back and forth Smiley managed to hook Backlund in the crossface chickenwing, looking to prove that his version of the hold was the superior one. Backlund managed to fight out and spun behind Smiley looking to lock on his own... but Smiley instead caught him with a back kick between the legs! Backlund dropped to his knees, and Smiley laid him out with a shot right to the back of the head.






Smiley ran off the ropes and Backlund had enough left in him to try and catch him with a counter kitchen sink knee but Smiley leapt in with a low dropkick that caught Backlund's planted leg and wiped it out at an awkward angle. Backlund screamed in pain yet still tried to catch Smiley with a takedown, but Smiley caught it and maneuvered into a rear mount where he rained down punches straight to the back of Backlund's head to the point that the ref had no choice but to call for the bell! This is a new, meaner Norman Smiley than we've seen before that is moving on.



4. Rey Mysterio Jr. (Oregon) vs. 13. Damien Demento (New Mexico St.)



This was a styles clash. Rey Mysterio looked to unleash an intricate set of roll-ups and techniques to seal the victory while Demento... well he just pretty much looked to headbutt Rey every chance he got. While the more basic of the two approaches the headbutt one proved to be the more effective early on, repeatedly dazing the smaller man and allowing Demento to show off the other diverse parts of his offense such as clubbering and... well that's about it.






Eventually Rey gets tired of being clubbered and starts to chop Demento down via a series of leg kicks. Once down Rey quickly climbs to the top rope and hits a pair of somersault sentons. Demento manages to make his way back to his feet and when Rey looks to continue with the leg kicks Damien pokes him right in the eye and then headbutts him right in the back of his skull, sending him crumpling to the mat. Demento hits the ropes and follows up with his big leaping kneedrop to the back of his head and gets the 3 count along with the massive upset! Every tournament has its cinderella, perhaps Damien Demento is destined to be the ugliest cinderella the world has ever known.



6. Yokozuna (BYU) vs. 11. Hayabusa (UCLA/Stanford)



At over 500 pounds Yokozuna is easily the largest competitor in the tournament and perhaps the biggest problem to try and solve for anyone who has the poor luck to be slotted against him. The first to try their hand at it is the high flyer Hayabusa, who quickly came to understand the massive scale of the task ahead of him.






Yokozuna basically only moves when he feels like it, and while Hayabusa tried with all his might at times to convince him to do so ultimately it was not within his power to make it happen. In response he got swatted away like an annoying gnat, except that one generally doesn't swat a gnat with 500 pounds of rolled-up newspaper. Still Hayabusa had the speed advantage and used it to the best of his ability, peppering Yokozuna with shots and hoping for one of them to land lucky. A back spin kick finally did, causing the big man to fall square on his ass. Hayabusa tried to capitalize with a running somersault senton and a leg drop but eventually Yokozuna made his way back to his feet and it was soon curtains for Hayabusa, squished beneath a quarter ton's worth of big splash.



Yokozuna is going to be a problem.



3. Samoa Joe (Seton Hall) vs. 14. Marty Jannetty (Hofstra)



For many Marty Jannetty would be a sentimental favorite in this tournament, but unfortunately for him Samoa Joe is not a sentimental man. He sees a broken down old man waiting to be put out of his misery and he is more than willing to oblige. Joe repeatedly grabs Marty's knees and drives them straight into the mat, locking him in a boston crab while sarcastically asking if the "old man" is sure he wants this. Around the time he moves to kicking him straight in the spine one would have to think that Marty is asking himself that very question.






Still he fights on, occasionally managing to pop his tormentor with some quick punches and catching him off guard with some arm drags. Still it is impossible to deny that Joe's offense is landing harder, doing more damage. Joe leaps for an enzuigiri but Marty's veteran instinct kicks in and he ducks at the last moment, following up with a superkick that catches Joe right on the button!






Never one to wait for permission Marty grabs Joe's arm, twists it around and catches Joe with the rocker dropper! He drags Joe away from the rope and covers, but Joe gets his shoulder up at 2. Joe tries to quickly reassert his dominance but instead walks right into another superkick that sends him down like a falling oak tree. Marty shakes his arms to fire up the crowd and perhaps himself, but time appears to have run out for him as Joe recuperated enough to hit him with a snap suplex followed up with a back senton that sent all of his weight crashing down onto Marty's sternum. Marty gamely manages to pull himself back to his feet but doesn't see the oncoming lariat, and that's all she wrote for Marty Jannetty. He managed to show Joe that he was in a fight, but Joe is the one who gets to fight on.



7. Ultimate Warrior (Iowa) vs. 10. Shuji Ishikawa (Xavier)



The Ultimate Warrior can be an intimidating presence, what with his crazy look and crazier ramblings, but if anyone is not going to be shook by it it would of course be one of the Violent Giants, none other than Shuji Ishikawa. It would be difficult to describe the start of this match as a wrestling contest as it was just these two large angry men smashing into one another seeing who would be the first to budge. Ishikawa would club Warrior across his back, Warrior would retaliate by slapping the taste out of his mouth, each man would lariat the other almost as a means of testing the measure of the other. It was rough, it was loud, it was violent... it did little to prepare one for what was to follow.






After the two men exchanged inverted atomic drops for god knows what reason Warrior wrapped both his hands around Ishikawa's neck and lifted his thick frame into the air as if to strangle him. Ishikawa fought his way out and responded by grabbing Warrior around his throat before chokeslamming him to the mat. He then chokeslammed him a second time as if to further make his point. Warrior tried to rally to his feet so Ishikawa decided to attempt to behead him with a lariat. And then a second lariat. And a third, and a fourth. He went for a fifth and Warrior charged after him and lariated him against the turnbuckle, screaming in his face. Ishikawa responded as any sane man would...



...by Fire Thunder Driving Warrior straight on top of his spine. Both men laid there for an uncomfortable few seconds before Ishikawa started to stir. He went to grab Warrior but instead both of Warrior's hands reached up and grabbed him round the throat once more! He drug Ishikawa and himself to his feet without releasing his grip, once more lifted his Violent Giant adversary into the air before piledriving him on top of his spine in retaliation.



Again both men lay there, but again neither would stay down and they rose to their feet and began exchanging haymakers once more. In a sudden insane burst of strength Warrior would snatch his opponent over his head into the gorilla press slam, sending him crashing to the floor before hitting the ropes and following up a big splash to his spine. He rolled him over and got the 1, 2... 2.9! Warrior looked at his hands in amazement, as if questioning how his ancient gods could allow this to happen.






Warrior did not remain distracted long, returning to the attack by holding Ishikawa in the air for a good ten seconds in a vertical suplex. Now it was Ishikawa's turn to prove his resiliency as he quickly rose to his feet, ducked an oncoming Warrior lariat and hit him with an angle slam for a 2.9 count of his own. Frustrated at the fight continuing he threw three elbows right to Warriors head. Six elbows. Nine elbows in a row, followed by a running big boot as an exclamation point.


He covered after the boot and Warrior kicked out once more, so Ishikawa hit the ropes and PK'd Warrior while he still sat there with his arm and shoulder up, falling on him afterwards for another cover and another 2.9 count. He yanked Warrior to his feet and german suplexed him, but Warrior popped up and back suplexed Ishikawa in response. Warrior drove Ishikawa into the corner once more and began relentlessly clubbing away at him, Ishikawa firing up and tossing Warrior onto the apron...






...and then tossing Warrior off the apron to the floor with a nightmarish chokeslam! He followed it up with a german suplex for good measure, the tossed Warrior's body back into the ring only to be met by a Warrior lariat the second he re-entered the ring himself! What will it take to put either of these men down?!?! Warrior resumed clubbing away at Ishikawa but Ishikawa caught him with another chokeslam. He picked up Warrior over his head and nailed him with a sitout crucifix powerbomb that did not get a 3 count. He picked up Warrior once more and again spiked him with a fire thunder driver.



Warrior lay prone for a second before popping to his feet and running in place! He blasts Ishikawa with a shot, hit the ropes and flies into him with a huge leaping shoulder tackle right to his back. He goes for a follow-up lariat but Ishikawa once more catches him with a chokeslam, follows up with another angle slam and finally, mercifully gets a three count.



That. Was. Insane. God knows how either man lived through half of that. God knows how Ishikawa will be able to fight another match later on. God knows how it "only" got a 99% match rating. At the very least we all now know exactly what destrucity is.



2. Ed "Strangler" Lewis (San Diego St.) vs. 15. Roadblock (East Washington)



Strangler Lewis is one of the most notorious wrestlers in history while Roadblock never really ascended beyond being a WCW Saturday Night mainstay but there is a universal truth one should never forget: styles make fights. Lewis may have faced off against and beaten every other star of his era, but no star of his era was a 350+ pounds wall of a man like Roadblock.



Lewis did manage to get some takedowns on the bigger man but struggled to keep him down, and his headlocks often lead right to Roadblock back suplexing him. In contrast Roadblock had little difficulty picking up the smaller man and slamming him to the mat. He whipped Lewis into the ropes and caught him with a powerslam, then did it a second time dropping his full weight across Lewis's sternum.



Still you don't become a legend without being able to deal with difficult situations and Lewis stepped up his intensity, managing to leverage the big man up and over with some headlock takedowns and beginning an assault on Roadblock's legs in an attempt to cripple his movement. Roadblock dealt with adversity a different way: he bit Lewis's face.






This opened up a deep wound on Strangler's forehead, and Roadblock did not hesitate to attack it. He repeatedly grabbed Lewis and headbutted the wound until it further opened it into a massive gash that sprayed blood everywhere. Lewis tried to fight on but was clearly beginning to lose consciousness from the blood loss and a series of falling powerslams gave Roadblock the upset victory! Fortunately that was the last match of the round, that will give us time to clean up all of the blood...

---

That's it for the first round! 32 competitors have been eliminated but 32 still fight on. Some men have looked dominant, some have snuck by by the skin of their teeth, some we expected to be here and some no one did. Who of these men has 5(!) more wins in him and will determine the true champion of March Madness 2020? We'll get a clearer idea next time for the start of the second round!

Tonight we finish up the rest of the second round!

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1. Big Van Vader (Baylor) vs. 8. Michael PS Hayes (Marquette)



As we all quickly learned in his opening round match, Michael PS Hayes isn't built for a fair fight and has no interested in even pretending to have one. It is of no surprise that he wouldn't feel any different when facing Big Van Vader, but that also doesn't mean that Vader would necessarily appreciate it.



Hayes more than held his own in the opening minutes, landing a few jabs and avoiding the more terrifying of Vader's counterattacks. And of course he couldn't resist the occasional poke to the eye, or a sneaky little shot to the groin. I doubt any of Hayes's opponents was ever happy about these things, but most of those men weren't Vader. If Vader on a good day isn't a walk in the park to face, then a Vader that is slowly but surely getting more and more pissed...






...needless to say his decision to paint the canvas with Hayes's blood wasn't a huge surprise. What was surprising is that Hayes wouldn't back down himself. Deciding that it wasn't like Vader was gonna get any more angry with him he doubled down on the dirty tactics, preventing Vader from building any momentum even when he was still landing thundering blows along Hayes's skull. Hayes managed to find success with the running bulldog, planting Vader with it on a few occasions. Ultimately the man they call Vader just proved to be too much for him, dumping him in the corner and landing the Vader Bomb for the 3 count.



5. Tetsuya Naito (Ohio St.) vs. 4. Earthquake (Butler)



Naito slaps Earthquake across the face at the opening bell, signaling his realization that his best chance to topple his massive opponent is to take the fight straight at him. Naito quickly overwhelms Earthquake with a variety of strikes from all angles, not giving him a chance to breathe. He runs up along side him and catches him with a Destino early, but only manages a two count.



Earthquake shoves Naito away and clubs at him but is stunned by a kick. Naito takes this opportunity to jump onto Earthquake's shoulders... and hit him with a poison ranna?!? I can't even begin to contemplate the physics of such an act, but the few seconds it takes Naito to pull all of Earthquake's weight away from the ropes gives him just enough time to recover and kick out just at 2.9.






Naito keeps up the attack and hooks Earthquakes head and somehow managing to pull all that mass over with a tornado ddt. He looks to follow up but finally Earthquake manages to snatch his prey, throwing him over his shoulder and wiping him out with a big running powerslam. A big shoulder block follows, then a big elbow drop (he's Earthquake, everything he throws is big). He lifts Naito up off of the mat but quick as a hiccup Naito shoots behind him and somehow, someway picks up the over 450 pounds of natural disaster up with a back suplex before sending him crashing down to the mat and causing what almost feels like an actual earthquake. He quickly rolls atop his stunned opponent and successfully gets the 3 count! Naito advances to the Sweet 16 where at the very least he won't have to face off against another super heavyweigh... oh, right.



6. Erick Rowan (Virginia) vs. 3. Stan Hansen (Maryland)



Before the match Erick Rowan asked that they ring the bell ten times in tribute to his fallen spider. Stan Hansen... well I can't repeat what he said about that, but needless to say Rowan did not appreciate it and the brawl was underway. These two men attacked each other all around the ring neither man backing up an inch, Rowan incensed at the disrespect shown his pet and Hansen... well Hansen is always like this.



Rowan managed to catch Hansen with a fallaway slam and then decided to climb to the top rope and leap off with a headbutt. Unfortunately for him Hansen rolled out of the way at the last moment, bounced off the ropes and caught Rowan with the western lariat as he got back to his feet. Hansen covered and Rowan launched Hansen off him with a big kickout at 2. Hansen went to lariat again but Rowan caught him by the throat and chokeslammed him down before grabbing his legs and kneeing him straight in the balls three straight times.






Hansen somehow managed to pull himself to his feet after that and immediately caught Rowan with a second lariat! Rowan got up immediately and wiped Hansen out with a face first chokeslam! What has gotten into these two? Hansen is past the point of messing around and headbutts Rowan before waylaying him with another lariat. Rather than cover he hits the ropes to deliver another but Rowan catches him with an inverted atomic drop, but when he goes for another chokeslam Hansen fights out and folds him up with a powerbomb that Rowan kicks out of before the ref can even start his count!



At this point the two men said to hell with it and just started punching each other directly in the head. Eventually Hansen yelled out, grabbed Rowan by the head and headbutted him as hard as he could. Rowan got back up with a bloody face and headbutted Hansen right back! Not one to be outshone Hansen leapt back up himself and headbutted him yet again for good measure before nailing him with yet another lariat.






Hansen slumps down next to the fallen Rowan, but before he can cover him Rowan rises once more. A wide-eyed Hansen hits the ropes for another lariat but Rowan ducks and sends him flying with a full-nelson slam. Rowan covers and gets a 1, 2... 2.9! He lifts Hansen up by the throat for another chokeslam, Hansen gut kicks him and lands another powerbomb yet Rowan once more kicks out before the ref can even count 1! Still he is visibly stumbling afterwards though and Hansen adjusts his elbow pad, hits the ropes once more and turns Rowan inside out with the biggest lariat of the night. He covers and finally keeps him down for the three count.






Next time maybe just let them ring the bell ten times for his spider.



10. Psycho Clown (LSU) vs. 2. John Cena (Florida St.)



I don't know if Cena's pride felt threatened over the possibility of losing to a clown or if he just saw a lot of potential matches ahead of him but regardless he looked to finish things up early. He dropped Psycho Clown with an early lariat, dropped repeated heavy elbows right on his head and just went to work on him. After a shoulder tackle he climbed the top rope and came leaping off with a high cross body, then climbed the ropes a second time to deliver a leaping shoulder block off the top. He then hoisted Clown onto his shoulders and dropped him with the AA, looking to make it an early night's work.






Clown managed to get his shoulder up just before the 3 count and Cena looked visibly bothered by this. He proceeded to fisherman suplex Clown repeatedly, making sure after each one to ask him if he really wanted to get up. Whenever he did just that he was greeted with yet another fisherman suplex. This went on for minutes, Clown getting flung repeatedly while Cena paced himself while seeing how much more the Clown wanted to take.



Clown finally managed to fire back a bit, hitting a hip toss followed by a lariat of his own. Cena responded with yet another fisherman suplex except this time he climbed the ropes afterwards and delivered a super five knuckle shuffle. He signaled for the end and another AA but Clown managed to hip toss out of the attempt, grab Cena's arm and hit the la magistral for a 3 count out of nowhere!





John Cena stares at the ref in disbelief as this critical(!) upset has potentially thrown this entire bracket into disarray! This region that has seen its favorites perform strongest of all has just received its first true shock as Psycho Clown is moving on to the Sweet 16!



1. Toshiaki Kawada (Gonzaga) vs. 8.Diamond Dallas Page (Houston)



At the bell DDP ran at Kawada and caught him with a surprising tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown, looking to either show Kawada up or perhaps throw him off his game. Kawada responded to this as he does to most things: by throwing kicks. He snapped DDP to the mat and kicked his spine, when DDP retreated to the corner he charged and kicked his face, and when he collapsed after Kawada made sure to kick his back on the way down. Page fought out of a tortuous hold and nailed Kawada with a clothesline in the corner, but when he ran back to get space to deliver a second he was instead greeted with another charging boot.



Kawada followed this up with a powerbomb where he laid his full weight on Page after, but Page managed to kick out. Kawada looked to follow up but out of nowhere DDP caught him with the diamond cutter! He laid a single arm across Kawada afterwards, but he managed to kick out before three. Kawada stumbled up and wandered directly into a second cutter. This time DDP hooked the leg but Kawada managed to get his foot on the rope just in the nick of time.





Kawada was hurt by these attacks though, and Kawada is angry when he is hurt. If Page thought the kicks earlier in the match were mean the ones that came now were hateful. Kawada first stunned him with a back hook kick to give himself a chance to recuperate, then delivered a jumping high kick right to Page's face. A series of step kicks to the fallen DDP's face followed, and when he finally managed to pull away from Kawada's grip he was greeted with yet another jumping high kick that sent him crumbling to the mat. Kawada dug his forearm right into Page's face and made the pin, but Page defiantly kicked out.



Kawada goes to punt him once more but Page has had enough and slugs him right in the mouth, followed by a big wind up discuss punch that drops him. He then levels Kawada with a sitout powerbomb to make up for the one earlier, but Kawada grabs the ropes to break the pin. He pulls himself out of the ring and when Page follows he blasts him with another hook kick. He tosses Page back in but is caught stepping through the ropes with an overhead belly to belly throw followed by a uranage.





Page points to the crowd and raises his hands in a diamond signaling for the diamond cutter... and turns right into a fist thrown by a recovered Kawada. Page is then laid out with a running lariat and cannot kick out of before the three count. Kawada advances once again thanks to his lariat, seemingly another weapon added to his arsenal in preparation for this tournament.



12. Norman Smiley (SF Austin) vs. 13. Damien Demento (New Mexico St.)



After witnessing his first round "strategy" Norman Smiley knew better than to be caught off guard by Damien Demento's bull in a china shop approach and love for headbutts so he quickly moved to smother him before he could even get started. He kicked away at a leg, he arm dragged him when he went for a lariat, basically working towards slowly breaking Demento down while avoiding the shots that had doomed Rey Mysterio in the earlier round.


Unfortunately for Smiley it is hard to avoid headbutts forever and Demento finally snuck one in, causing Smiley to stumble back into the corner. Demento charged into said corner and landed a lariat before whipping Smiley across the ring and following with a second. A sharp kneedrop to the ribs followed and Smiley quickly decided he wanted no more of that. He ducked a few wild swinging shot, hooked both of Demento's arms and lifted him into a double underhook facebuster. He followed with an ankle lock that seemed to do legit damage to Demento before he could manage to kick himself free.






When Smiley went for a follow-up Demento gouged his eye and hit a back suplex. He went for a follow-up knee but Smiley rolled out of the way before hitting him with a second double underhook facebuster. Looking to finish things off he lifted Demento onto the top rope and went to superplex him...






...but that darn headbutt found him and sent him crashing to the mat. Demento half-jumped, half-fell off the top with an elbow drop. Demento smelled blood and headbutted Smiley again, then following with a leaping headbutt that sent Smiley down to his knees. He charged with a clothesline that Smiley ducked, but in doing so he left himself open for an over the shoulder neckbreaker. Demento hit the ropes and then hit his patented leaping knee drop to the head and notched his second victory of the tournament.



It isn't pretty and neither is he, but it appears that the combination of Damien Demento's headbutts and kneedrops is one to be reckoned with.



6. Yokozuna (BYU) vs. 3. Samoa Joe (Seton Hall)



I do not believe there have been many times when Samoa Joe was not the most intimidating presence in any ring he stepped into, but even he can't help but acknowledge the 200+ pound weight disadvantage he is at here. He throws a quick elbow to stun the much larger man and goes to try and knock him off balance with a shoulder block but instead finds himself lifted onto Yokozuna's shoulders and dropped to the mat as if he weighed nothing. Samoa Joe found himself tossed around the ring like a small child (please don't toss around small children at home), firing off elbows to try and keep Yokozuna off of him but ultimately being more or less at his mercy.



Yokozuna dropped a leg across Joe's face, then another. He repeatedly picked him up into a samoan drop and crushed Joe with all of his weight, Joe gasping for air after each titanic impact. Joe finally managed to stumble the sumo with a shoulder tackle, knocking him off balance just enough to take him down. Joe quickly tries to lock on the stf but is barely able to apply it before being shook off. He delivers a couple quick kicks right to Yokozuna's spine while he tries to get up, but it only delays him from reaching his feet once more for so long.






Yokozuna punishes Joe for daring to knock him off his feet with a thunderous uranage that nearly breaks Joe in half before following up with another leg drop, this time to the back of Joe's head. Yokozuna at no point goes to cover Joe, instead playing with his prey. He drops Joe's ribs right across his knee before piledriving him into the mat, although I must confess I wonder how effective it is to do so given how thick Yokozuna's legs are. Joe tries to fire back but Yokozuna just rakes him across his eyes and resumes his torture.



Somehow Joe manages to avoid passing out from all the damage Yokozuna has delivered to him and manages to catch him with a jumping enzuigiri that drops Yoko to a knee. Joe has payback on his mind as he repeatedly step up Kawada kicks Yokozuna, catching him with another enzui when he tries to get away and then step up kicks him even more. Yokozuna finally shoves him away but Joe only gives him a second to catch his breath, ducking behind him...






...and somehow getting him over with a back suplex! It appears like pulling off that herculean task may have taken the last bit of strength Joe had left as both men lay there in a heap. Finally they both start to stir, Joe starts firing elbows once again but Yoko suddenly lifts Joe into the air and chucks him a good half way across the ring! He goes to charge him in the corner but Joe is to fast and moves out of the way, Yoko crashing back first into the turnbuckles with a sickening thud. And then..



...no f'n way.






Yes F'n way!!



Joe lifts Yokozuna's 500+ pounds onto the top turnbuckle, hooks his head and gets him over with the biggest muscle buster the world has ever seen! Yokozuna sits up in a daze afterwards and Joe wraps his arms around his throat and pulls him back into the coquina clutch! The ref checks... he calls for the bells as Yokozuna is out cold! Samoa Joe has choked Yokozuna out and if he choked him out then he can choke any man out!



10. Shuji Ishikawa (Xavier) vs. 15. Roadblock (East Washington)



The question on everyone's mind is how much can Shuji Ishikawa have left in the tank after the absolute war he was in against the Ultimate Warrior in the first round. Roadblock wanted to find out right away as he immediately hit a side belly to belly, but Ishikawa got up and tried to hit a lariat that was ducked followed by a big boot that was blocked. Roadblock chopped him a few times and knocked him into the corner, but was caught charging in. Seemingly inspired by the last match Ishikawa lifted Roadblock to the top rope and sent the massive man flying with a superplex.



He went to further his advantage but got caught with a Roadblock back suplex. Undeterred he popped right up and leveled Roadblock with a horrific fire thunder driver, yet somehow Roadblock got his shoulder up at the 2.9 count. Ishikawa followed up by back suplexing the larger man, then a second. Roadblock grabbed a bearhug to try and slow the assault but Ishikawa elbowed out and went for a powerbomb, yet found himself unable to get the big man up and instead backdropped up and over.



Roadblock took this opportunity to pay back Ishikawa with some violence of his own, a back suplex followed by a stalling vertical and then a series of headbutts designed to split his forehead open like he did Strangler Lewis previously. Ishikawa fired back with a stiff knee to the solar plexus that both drove all the air out of Roadblock while sending him out onto the apron and... oh no...






...Ishikawa chokeslams another opponent off of the apron to the floor! He tries to pick up his opponent's dead weight and toss it back in the ring to get the pin but Roadblock in a last gasp of strength hits a belly to belly that crushes Ishikawa between the rock that is Roadblock's 350 pound frame and the hard place that is the arena floor. Both men slowly pull themselves back into the ring before the 20 count and almost leaning against one another to stay up start swinging wild punches. Roadblock catches Ishikawa with one right behind the ear that knocks him woozy and snatches him up with a falling powerslam for a 1, 2... 2.9 count! Roadblock struggles to lift up Ishikawa to hit another but is caught with a series of shots to his gut doubling him over. Ishikawa wraps his arms around his doubled over opponent, screaming and straining for all he is worth until he somehow manages to pick him up over his shoulders and into the crucifix before dropping him with a thunderous sit out powerbomb that gets the 1, 2... 3 count!



Ishikawa emerges victorious from yet another war but one has to ask how long can he survive at this rate. You can't wage a nightmarish life and death struggle every time out and hope to win the whole thing... can you?

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That's it for the second half of the second round and if I had to come up with a word to describe it I would go with violence. Big Van Vader and Stan Hansen spilled their opponent's blood everywhere without remorse while Samoa Joe and Shuji Ishikawa took a cleaner if perhaps more damaging approach. This doesn't even get into the beatings Toshiaki Kawada has been delivering or the wild brawls Damien Demento has tried to turn his matches into. Still, apart from all this violence there is a Psycho Clown lurking in the shadows, proving that a perfectly executed roll-up can shock the world just as easily as the biggest blows of his other competitors in the bracket.

Next time: the Sweet 16 begins!

Thank you Geese, worth noting it is also the only March Madness I've ever put much presentation effort into, funny how that works out. My favorite part of running tourneys like this is that you do sometimes get the game to throw you a match like Joe/Yokozuna and I end up going "man... that would have ruled!"

Anyways we have made it to the Sweet 16! At this point we have separated the wheat from the chaff but it is time to see who the true contenders truly are.

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1. Lou Thesz (Kansas) vs. 13. Jinsei Shinzaki (Vermont)



Lou Thesz is the consummate professional wrestler, but how will he deal with such a stylistically unusual competitor such as Jinsei Shinzaki? He does so by relying on his professional tools, particularly those of the grappling variety. The opening minutes involve Shinzaki repeatedly being taken down to the mat and being forced to fight his way out of a variety of holds. It is tough going for him early on but if there is a silver lining for him it is that Thesz seems to have genuine troubles with Shinzaki's strikes; his unfamiliarity with them means he has trouble defending against them, and when they land they land hard.




Thesz fortunately is capable of limiting them thanks to his frankly absurd ground game, but every so often they sneak through and they are clearly bothering him. He begins to develop a mean streak in response, grinding a knee into various limbs of Shinzaki before once again locking them in a hold. In particular he starts focusing on his legs, going several times for a rather nasty looking STF. While this would seem to help in terms of limiting the kicks it doesn't affect Jinsei's hands, and a throat thrust seems to completely take the wind out of Thesz's sails. Shinzaki capitalizes by laying him out with a huge chokeslam that splays the legend out on the canvas.



Jinsei drops a few headbutts to Thesz while working feeling back into his leg. Thesz recovers but he has lost control of the match-up and is unable to get his takedowns without eating several shots in the process and seems to legit be on his back foot. A shoulder tackle and an overhead suplex seem to soften Thesz up enough for Jinsei to go for the kill, so he goes for his trademark praying powerbomb...




...but his leg gave out under the weight at the worst possible time! Thesz smells blood and goes on the attack, alternating between further weakening the leg and taking big shots intended to end the match outright. Jinsei struggles against this and fights back for all he is worth, but he is basically a one legged man against a legend. Eventually Thesz folds him up with a truly nasty back suplex and Jinsei... somehow manages to kick out before three! Thesz goes for another but Jinsei elbows his way out of it and manages to floor the legend once more with a big shoulder block...




...Allowing him the opportunity to wrap Thesz in the dreaded Nirvana Strangle!! Thesz is so close to the ropes but can't quite reach them. Refusing the tap out Jinsei pulls him up and goes for the praying powerbomb one more time, this time his leg holding up and allowing him to hit the move! He shifts his weight onto Thesz and the ref dives in to count the one, two oh no he's in the ropes! I swear he had him beat!



Still he has the advantage as Thesz barely has any idea where he is or what hit him. Shinzaki grabs him for another praying powerbomb... no wait, he drops him with Thesz's own ganso bomb straight on his head!! He grabs his own leg afterwards for a moment before going for a pin, but unfortunately Thesz rolls away before Jinsei can fall on top of him. Jinsei crawls towards him to get that elusive cover but Thesz somehow spins atop of him, lifts Jinsei up and drops him with a piledriver before collapsing on top for the 3 count! Thesz did it, he escapes not one but three potential kill shots and is rewarded with a 100% match rating and the first spot in the Elite 8.!


14. Hector Garza (Little Rock) vs. 7. Kenta Kobashi (Michigan)



I will give Hector Garza a ton of credit: he does not fight scared. He went right at Kensuke Sasaki and managed to completely overwhelm the prohibitive favorite. He didn't run from The Bodyguard, he kept on attacking him and eventually put him down. For him the challenges keep getting steeper as up next is Kenta Kobashi and you know what?




He went right at him. Some would question the wisdom of such an approach but those same people likely wouldn't have predicted he'd have made it this far. Garza was gonna fight his fight and go toe to toe with Kenta Kobashi and it went surprisingly well for him...




...right until that lariat hit and then it got very dark, very fast. He kicked out of the pin that followed but did not appear to have the ability to defend himself any longer which is an awful place to find oneself in against one of the all time bomb throwers. Big chops followed, he ducked a second lariat but unfortunately...




...Kobashi was not in a playing mood. He instead decided to make a point and unleashed the burning hammer, and at just about the five minute mark the ref counted 3 making this perhaps the shortest match in the tourney so far. The message was successfully sent: if this is what's coming who can possibly hope to stand against it?.


1. Bret Hart (Dayton) vs. 13. Bryan Clark (Liberty)



Between Mr. Pogo, Kevin Owens and now Bryan Clark Bret Hart has faced three opponents who could not be any less similar, but watching Clark make his way to the ring reveals one similarity: much like Owens before him he is a man visibly weakened by what he has had to overcome just to make it this far.



Bret having learned how dangerous a desperate man could be from his prior match-up gave Clark even less room to breath. While Clark was still strong he lacked the explosiveness he had prior. Whenever he did successfully attack Hart it was only a single maneuver at a time, while Bret made sure to chain offensive maneuvers together every opportunity he got.




Once he felt that Clark was sufficiently worn down he started to hit him with more impactful attacks, be it a side back breaker or gaining a full head of steam before laying him out with a hart attack clothesline. Clark knew what the score was and how his prospects were looking, and he launched his final assault.



Driving Bret to the mat he resorted to simply trying to choke the life of him, a brute desperation attack that was only broken up by the official pulling him off of Bret. Not one to shy away from opportunities or responding in kind Bret took this chance to clip Clark's knee out from under him. He followed this up with the Sharpshooter and Clark had no choice but to submit.




Bret Hart has quickly rocketed from someone who wasn't even supposed to be in this tournament to perhaps the favorite to win the whole thing. While everyone else is starting to feel the weight of all of their matches he is still surprisingly fresh and unless someone can get to him soon this advantage of his may quickly become insurmountable.



3. Ric Flair (Michigan St.) vs. 7. Elias (USC)



Elias was smart enough to realize that trying to play Flair's games with him was a losing proposition, so he went straight for Flair before he could even consider starting them up. Elias recognized that his biggest advantage in the match was his size and strength, so he put the full weight of them on Flair. Most doing so would have tried to simply smash Flair repeatedly but Elias was a bit more clever than that; when he threw Flair to the mat he would then get him in an arm bar or a half crab, really leaning on him with his strength and forcing Flair to have to fight his way up and out of it.



Feeling the match slipping away from him Flair rolled to the outside to regroup, but Elias was unwilling to give him time to do so. He followed him out with a double axe handle. When Flair jabbed him with a quick shot and grabbed a chair Elias caught him with a clothesline before he could hope to use it, then returned to the ring with the count growing high and Flair forced to return before gaining either an advantage or any kind of meaningful rest.




The thing is you had better be prepared to wrestle a perfect match against Flair as he can transform even the slightest mistake into the biggest of advantages. Elias learned this the hard way when a headlock attempt got transformed into a back suplex. He was careless getting back to his feet and walked right into a Flair piledriver. Before he even knew what happened Flair grabbed his leg and Elias found himself in a figure four fighting for his life. Fight he did do, throwing a few punches at Flair and catching just enough of them for Flair to lose his grip. Still Flair was not going to surrender the advantage he had fought so hard to gain, hooking Elias for a vertical suplex...




...that got reversed into a sudden Drift Away! Elias wasted no time jumping right on top of Flair for the 1, 2... 2.9 count! Elias shook his head in frustration, he really thought he had won the match with that one. Flair managed to pull himself to his feet, looked Elias dead in the eye and defiantly WOO'd right in his face.




...and Elias dropped him with a right fist to the jaw before the sound could even finish exiting his mouth! A clearly discombobulated Flair stumbled to his feet and right into the charging clothesline of Elias who covered for a 1, 2... 3! He did it, he may have broken Flair's jaw with that punch but he got the job done. Elias moves on to the regional final against Bret Hart and while he will surely be the underdog, if we've learned anything so far it is that if you do not take Elias seriously you do so at your own peril.

---

Four men with few if any similarities have so far punched their ticket for the quarterfinal Elite Eight matchups: the legend with a timeless style, the hard hitting puro star with a killshot in his arm, the well rested hall of famer and the up and comer looking to make a name for himself. They will be joined by four more men next time as the stakes keep climbing higher and higher.

Tonight the quarterfinals begin as we determine the first two men to advance to the Final 4!

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1. Lou Thesz (Kansas) vs. 7. Kenta Kobashi (Michigan)


The first regional final gives us a legitimate superfight between the legendary Lou Thesz and the... also legendary Kenta Kobashi. Through the first three rounds Thesz has been a steady presence, controlling the pace and wrestling his match but he has found himself drug into deeper and deeper waters as his opponents have ramped up. Kobashi had to work harder early on but his big hitting offense has proven to be more and more of a difference maker as the tournament has progressed. Will that prove to be the difference against Thesz, or will Thesz's throwback style and rock solid technique once again prove to be an unsolvable challenge?


The match started off as a technical chess match, Kobashi striving to prove that he was more than capable of holding his own in this regard. He scored a series of dragon screws and locked on a cloverleaf hold, while Thesz preferred a strategy built around headlock takeovers and putting the pressure directly on Kobashi's skull. This resulted in a stalemate neither man seemed capable of cracking.




The opening few minutes were such a technical battle it was almost shocking when Kobashi threw the first chop, albeit this was likely by design. Thesz may be among the toughest men to ever step into the squared circle yet no man, him included, can easily stand up to the might of Kobashi's chops. An initial overhead chop stopped thesz in his tracks, a second dropping him straight to the mat. When he rose Kobashi grabbed his arm and delivered a further series of chops straight to Thesz's neck, finishing with a spinning one that again sent the legend sprawling.




Kobashi tried to follow up with a lariat but it proved much too early for that, but it did serve to focus Thesz's attack. He began exclusively targeting Kobashi's arm when the action spilled to the mat, looking to eliminate the weapons that had served to vex him. The two men still exchanged attacks, a vertical suplex here or an atomic drop there, both men proving to be fairly evenly matched. The question would be if Thesz's arm work would successfully weaken Kobashi before he once again gained the opportunity to engage in a striking battle.




Then Kobashi hit a homerun swing lariat that completely upended Thesz. He turned him over and went for the cover, gaining a 2.9 count. Still he had the clear advantage now and...




...followed immediately with a second horrific lariat sending Thesz once more head over heels. Kobashi covered again for the 1, 2... 3!



The crowd was visibly stunned. What was moments before an evenly matched contest between two strong competitors, that had not even appeared to have begun its end run, was over in almost a blink of an eye. There is quick hitting homerun offense and then there is what Kenta Kobashi does. Every time his burning lariat has connected it has directly resulted in match altering consequences, with no one capable of mounting anything resembling a comeback afterwards. Kobashi is the first to reach the final four and no matter who the other three men are they best beware what is waiting for them there.



1. Bret Hart (Dayton) vs. 7. Elias (USC)


No man in the tournament has had smoother sailing (fork stabbings excluded) than Bret Hart. He's won all of his earlier matches rather efficiently, preserving himself for the future matches while all of his opponents have gotten progressively more and more beat up. Standing across from his is Elias, someone who walked into this tournament fairly overlooked and underappreciated but who has proven repeatedly to be a man to take seriously. I've no doubt Bret Hart will, so will Elias earning the respect he has so desperately desired ironically enough be the means by which he is defeated?



At the opening bell Elias adopts a rather unexpected tactic: he is going to go straight at Bret Hart in a technical fashion. He grabs an arm bar, he scores a takedown, he works a headlock, and then a second headlock. For perhaps the first time all tournament (Mr. Pogo excluded) Bret is caught off balance, having seemingly prepared for every possibility except this very one. Bret eventually manages to pull himself together and score a takedown of his own, but the fresh Elias kicks him off almost immediately and when Bret goes for a second he finds himself lifted over Elias's head with an over the shoulder backbreaker, Elias's strength now complementing his technical assault much like it did against Ric Flair earlier.




Bret is not one to stick with an unsuccessful strategy so he switches gears himself: if Elias wishes to make this a technical battle, Bret will make it a fight. This produces quite the sight, Bret Hart squaring up with Elias and challenging him to a fist fight rather than continue to exchange holds. They stand directly in front of each other taking turns punching the other in the face, this proving to also favor Elias. Bret is the first to go down and when he starts to rise...




...he is greeted with Drift Away! Elias pulls him away from the ropes and covers for the near fall. We are five minutes into the match now and Elias has dominated all five of those minutes. To put this into context Bret Hart has probably not been at a disadvantage for five minutes total up until this point in the tournament, and he surely has absorbed more damage thus far than he has in the three prior matches combines.




It proceeded to get worse for Bret, almost uncomfortably so. Elias begins just beating the hell out of the Hitman. Clotheslines land flush, kicks start snapping his head back in a way reminiscent of Bret's matches with Goldberg many years back, backbreakers land so viciously that he audibly yelps in agony. Bret finally throws a punch that lands on Elias, who just rolls with it and takes Hart down with a spinning lariat in one smooth motion.




Bret is a warrior though, and if he is going down he's going down on his shield. He finally manages to counter into a russian leg sweep, groggily charging off the ropes and catching a rising Elias with the Hart Attack clothesline. He follows this up with a ddt, the first time all match he has successfully strung any amount of moves together. It may have proven to be his last gasp though as Elias immediately afterwards lands yet another thudding clothesline, following up by dragging a limp Bret to his feet to let him Drift Away once more...




...and it proved to be more than Bret's body could take. He lands all kinds of wrong on impact, crying in agony as he clutches his neck. The ref dives in between them before Elias can even consider going for the cover, calling for the bell. Elias is your winner and Bret... we pray that Bret will be okay.


This... was stunning. While Elias had put in repeated good showing in the tourney so far Bret Hart was nearly untouchable, he likely entered the Elite 8 with the best odds of winning it all. In less than ten minutes he went from that to broken, unable to defend himself, unable to even walk away from the ring under his own power. I've mentioned before off hand how so-and-so would have to wrestle a perfect match in order to have a chance... well that was as close to a perfect match as I've seen out of anyone this tournament. I don't know if Elias has two more of those in him but I would not bet against it, and if he does it may not matter who else is in the ring against him. This may be Elias's world now, we're all just walking in it.

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The first two matches of the Elite 8 are done and we have had two very impressive performances. Join us next time when we see if any of the four remaining competitors can match what we saw here today.