SHTCWA: SUPER HYPER TURBO CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ALLIANCE

JULY 4TH PATRIOT MATCH: Debuting Aubrie Liberty Falls to Office's Melino Tupou in a Solid Opener


Aubrie Liberty was, unsurprisingly, not over whatsoever in Toronto, whilst the crowd immediately got behind The Senatorial Office's "Tongan Death Princess", Melino Tupo. This was a fun, solid opener, as Aubrie got a chance to show off her amateur skills with a number of innovative, strong takedowns, whilst Melino proved just how strong she is, fending off Aubrie time and time again as she tried to transition into kneebars and ankle locks, only to be thwarted. Aubrie did eventually lock in the kneebar, twice, but Melino simply wouldn't give in, and eventually just made Liberty pass out to the deadly Tongan Death Grip.

This was a really fun match, and hopefully means the beginning of more collaborations between SHTCWA and other promotions; if anything the rest of the card hopefully proves as such. Also, Melino looked very strong, and was over as hell, so hopefully this isn't the last time she gets a chance to appear in SHTCWA.


Ai Amaya Flies High Vs. Laguna Le Mans

This match was a fun, fast-paced affair with the two youngsters out to prove something: that they could go, so to speak. And go they did. From only the opening moments, Laguna was aiming for Ai's head with wild attempts at her roundhouse kick, and Ai kept ducking and ducking and showing off her own skills. The two traded momentum back and forth, showing off their agility and technical skills by both fighting out of submisson attempts and flipping into hard-hitting dropkicks, mirroring each other's moves; then hitting huge 'ranas and pin attempts for close-falls.


The highlight of the match probably came when Laguna went for another patented roundhouse kick only for Ai to somehow dodge it and hit one of her own, with then lead to a sequence of Shooting Star Presses to finally get the win. This was a really solid, fun match, and continued to get the crowd hyped up after the solid opener.


Excellent Blondes, Tierney, Ramsay Come Out On Top in a Chaotic Match

This match, many pegged as a means to get a bunch of names on the card, and, honestly, the match felt like it: there wasn't really much psychology in it so much as it was just absolutebedlam from the off.

Early on, RIPLEY absolutely went mad, hitting a sequence of BRUTAL suplexes to Regan O'Reilly, then stomps, and followed up with their Tiger Driver '91, nearly putting away The Atomic Blonde, Reilly if it weren't for her tag partners.

The match then sort of found its rhythm with the heels trying to slow the match down and Excellent and O'Reilly mostly going for limbwork, and Tierney often doing the same, whilst the faces kept rotating quickly, then getting RIPLEY in to absolutely clean house. RIPLEY was being billed as sort of the match-killer for their team, and it worked. Eventually, though, they simply lost contol and things just spilled to the outside, with RIPLEY barely saving their team, getting in at 19, whilst Rhiannon Ramsay hit the Orienteering with Napalm Death on literally anyone that moved.

The ending sequence came when O'Reilly hit a very cool sequence against Sabine Starkiller, nailing a Codebreaker into a running knee to the face, and pinning Starkiller in the heels' corner with a elbow drop held onto her chest. The heels win and get undoubtedly maintain some heat, but it was kind of a big clusterfuck of a match. It wasn't downright bad, but it wasn't amazing.


Warrior Pro's Grim Reapers Answer the Challenge; Beat Beat-Alls in a War

The match rating does not do this match the credit it deserves: this was a solid, fun, hard-hitting match that never dragged from the opening bell.

Literally, the second move of the match saw the Grim Reapers hit a MASSIVE Shatter Machine on George Eggman, with Billie Cannon hoisting the big man up and Tyson Heyward driving his knee into Eggman's face. Eggman shook himself off and got Heyward into the Beat-Alls' corner and from there, The Beat-Alls answered RIGHT back with their own signature tag move: a huge chokeslam from Eggman into a backstabber from John Pepper.

And from that point on we knew we were in for a great match. The Beat-Alls tried to do what they always do in tag matches: control the pace, and have Pepper work the majority of the match, wearing down opponents with limbwork, whilst Eggman occasionally comes in to dish out punishment. But the Grim Reapers had other ideas, just wanting all out war, and eventually it devolved into the Grim Reapers just pummeling their opponents until the end sequence where Billie Cannon smartly isolated John Pepper, allowing Tyson Heyward to absolutely CLOBBER George Eggman and then hoist him up for an impressive Deadlift German Suplex, in which he bridged, and the ref counted for three. This was a fantastic match, and hopefully not the last we see of these teams facing off against one another.


Lucha Showcase Match Does Its Job; That's About It

The lucha showcase matches that SHTCWA has are, undoubtedly, good, in theory: solid ways to either get the crowds hype to open shows, or a good way to break up action in the middle of shows and inject some energy and fun into a card to keep it from getting stale.

Tonight, though, in Blue Jay's debut match, unfortunately, something just felt decidedly off. And unfortunately, the more and more one considers it, it may be Machismo and Machisma. Ever since SHTCWA returned, they've been featuring relatively prominently, and though their gimmicks are ridiculous and fun, they just can't seem to produce amazing matches. It may also simply be that the cards might be better served featuring singles lucha matches rather than tag matches. Or maybe everyone is just in a bit of a funk.

Regardless, this was an alright match, but really not much to write home about, and worst of all, the debuting Blue Jay really didn't get much of a chance to shine, barely being in the ring at all. It may be that Blue Jay is still relatively green, so they didn't want to expose his weaknesses, but he really didn't do too much in this inoffensive, if a bit of a boring match.


Rent-A-Tigress Spoils Tigertron 3000's Debut; Crits the Cybernetic Tiger in a Fun, Fast-Paced Match

This was a very fun match that knew not to overstay its welcome, and it showcased both competitors perfectly. Rent-a-Tigress was ever the underdog tecnico, whilst Tigertron was the dastardly, cheating, junk-kicking rudo. The match moved at a brisk pace, and Tigress got to show off her high-flying skills whilst Tigertron nearly stole it with a Skull-Crushing Finale, and got to even show some heart of his own by kicking out of a huge Tiger Driver Facebuster. He eventually succumbed, though, to a Oedo Coaster that caused a surprise CRITICAL! and Rent-a-Tigress stood tall in a fun match.


Donnelly Returns to Action, Decimates Throwback

After demanding that Fyfe Donnelly's suspension be lifted so he could face him at tonight's supercard show, one would have expected Johnny Throwback to come out full of proverbial fire, and absolutely obliterate Fyfe Donnelly. Or possibly lock in a "shoot" submission hold of his own much like it seemed Donnely did to Throwback a few weeks ago. But that wasn't the story of this match: instead, in the early goings, both men were content to work a deliberate, slow pace and try to slowly wear down the other and prove they were the better submission wrestler. And it was interesting, and intriguing to watch the two of them try to jostle one another for dominance and work out in real-time their approaches to the match.

They then started trading heavy strikes and the match stepped into another gear, as it often seems to do with a Johnny Throwback match, when Throwback started to dump Donnelly on his head with suplexes and backdrops. Donnelly answered in kind by starting to lock in modified versions of the Orienteering with Napalm Death, tying up Throwback into a pretzel. But Throwback came back with the Ground Octopus Hold, the move that beat Marcel Müller last week. Donnelly then PLANTED Throwback with the Deep Impact, the top-rope DDT, but Throwback miraculously kicked out.

Donnelly then hit a second one from the top rope and tangled Throwback into a La Magistral right in the middle of the ring, and got the three count over his rival. He then hit a HUGE Dodonce's Throne after the match, planting Throwback again, and as Throwback was helped out of the ring, Donnelly was making a gesture of a belt around his waist, seemingly signalling that regardless of the outcome of tonight's main event, he wants a shot at that championship. How that plays out given his recent suspension, we'll have to see.


LaCroix and Morgan Tear the House Down Again in a Bloody War

In the lead-up to this rematch between "The Hot Topic" Luna LaCroix and the "Queen of Amarillo" Tara Morgan, things were ratcheted up a notch when the No-DQ, Weapons match was made a Barbed Wire match, as well. Sledgehammers and barbed wire baseball bats and kendo sticks littered the ring as the bell rung, and the two wasted NO time at all getting right into it. One would expect a bit of trepidation, but not from LaCroix and Morgan. They just started beating the absolute hell out of each other and going for weapon shots nearly immediately.

I'd say the match devolved, quickly, into a brawl, but it started out that way, with brutal suplexes and piledrivers onto bats, and sledgehammer shots; Brainbuster Lariats and suplexes onto sledgehammers and bats and finally Irish Whips into the barbed wire, which garnered many a "HOLY SHIT!" chants from the crowd.

Morgan seemed to have it won when she not only hit a Stump Piledriver into a Mounting Piledriver, but then NAILED LaCroix with a Tights-Pulling Piledriver onto a barbed wire bat, tearing LaCroix's flesh wide open. But somehow, LaCroix kicked out, then plastered Morgan with a Brainbuster Lariat right onto that same bat.

The two kept trading punches and big moves and even got into a huge Spirit Punch exchange before LaCroix finally put Morgan down for a second time with a massive, mean Crucifix Powerbomb to end the bloody, near 20-minute war.


Ella-Mae Solidifies #1 Spot in a Fantastic Match

Much like the match before it, "Motherwell's Own" Gemma Galloway and "The Lone Star Ace" Ella-Mae Carter held nothing back, and started trading hard, heavy shots immediately; Galloway with her European Uppercuts and strong elbows, and Carter with her well-placed, straight-up brawling-inspired punches. The two just beat the hell out of each other for roughly a good ten minutes before Carter started to gain control, and wear Galloway down with dragon screws in an attempt to setup her Texas Cloverleaf hold. But credit where credit is due: Gemma Galloway fought out of it multiple times, and when that wouldn't get it done, she kicked out of two MASSIVE powerbombs.

Galloway then looked to have things won as she set up for a huge Senton Atomico, then followed up with a run-up Senton Atomico, but she couldn't capitalize, and Carter came right back with a Senton Atomico of her own and took the win, solidifying her spot as the #1 contender for Mayday Malone's PURORESU H.E.A.R.T. World Championship.


Malone Still the Valiant Double Champ in a Fantastic Cage Match

Just like the Morgan/LaCroix match before it, things were spiced up in this maine event, with weapons getting thrown into the cage; a chair, a barbed wire bat, and a set of spikes. And the weapons were featured early on when Malone was PLANTED onto a chair and CeO then swung wildly at the champ.

In the early goings, it was all Malone, striking fast, often, and hard, and CeO weathered the storm until the tides shifted and a combination of underhanded tactics and weapons saw CeO in control. But CeO was most definitely showboating, not going for pins or his patented sleeper hold that had won him so many matches leading up to tonight. Mayday kept fighting, though, nailing CeO with multiple Switchblades only for Oswald to surprisingly show some fortitude and kick out!

The cage came into play, with Malone throwing CeO into it after she withstood bat shots, and nearly got off a bat shot of her own, then spike shots, and whipped CeO into the cage again before CeO came back with a shocking sleeper hold out of nowhere only for Malone to fight out.

Then...

SKULL-CRUSHING FINALE! SLEEPER HOLD! NO! SHE FIGHTS OUT!

HE STEALS THE CORKSCREW NECKBREAKER DROP! SHE KICKS OUT!

They fight up top and Mayday hits another Slingblade!

She's really taking it to him now. ANOTHER SLEEPER! NO! SHE ESCAPES, SOMEHOW!
CALLING FOR THE ROUND THE BASES SUBMISSION HOLD! She's done it! CeO taps out and just shy of a half-hour, Mayday Malone has survived the cage match and survived CeO.

And stilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll your SHTCWA World Champion, and your DOUBLE Champion: Mayday Malone!