Big Gold Buckle: Boss Ross vs Ella-Mae POSTED, Saloon OPEN
May 11, 2022 4:50:56 GMT
Senator Phillips, LankyLefty17, and 2 more like this
Post by Princess Pepperoni on May 11, 2022 4:50:56 GMT
Far away, in a galaxy not too far from our own….actually, that’s a lie. Engine troubles have left Star Fleet stranded in Houston, Texas. Boring. Through all their intergalactic adventures, one would assume they could have been stranded somewhere cool, like the space rock formally referred to as ‘Pluto,’ or Star Talon, the home planet of Silver Hawk. Nope. Like every form of space media, everything directed back to Earth, the comfy home of one Johnny Rocket.
Fantasia Cosmica: Johnny….Johnny….
With his feet crossed on the control console, Johnny Rocket loudly bellows a snore. Cosmica raises her hand, looking as if she’s ready to smack him on the tip of his nose.
Fantasia Cosmica: Johnny.
His seat is adjusted all the way back while his goggles are set in ‘Sleep’ mode, masterfully blocking any form of light from his line of vision. Another expert invention by the crew’s technician, Galaxy Girl. However? Now wasn’t the time for sleep, not with an aggravated Fantasia Cosmica acting as co-pilot. Her arm flexes, every muscle surging with the intent to pulverize Star Fleet’s captain.
Fantasia Cosmica: Johnny, if you don’t get up right now I swea--
Galaxy Girl: I FIGURED IT OUT! I FIGURED IT OUT! I FIGURED IT OUT!
Racing into the cockpit, Galaxy Girl is all smiles as she bursts into the room. It’s like she’s been injected with pure, unfiltered adrenaline. She’s jumping up and down with half her face full of black smears. Immediately she shoves Johnny’s feet off the console, causing our fearless leader to finally wake up.
Johnny Rocket: Can’t your captain get any rest around here?
He complains, as if he didn’t just sleep for a full twelve-hours the day before. When in your hometown, it’s often normal to get extra hours of rest. At least, that’s what Johnny explained to Fantasia earlier.
Fantasia Cosmica: That woke you up?
He reaches for Cosmica’s face and squeezes her cheek.
Johnny Rocket: Would it make you feel better if I said I was dreaming of you--
Fantasia Cosmica: No.
Johnny Rocket: ….with six boobs?
Fantasia blushes, but vigorously shakes her head before swiping Johnny’s hand away. Meanwhile, we hear Galaxy Girl typing like a madwoman on the keyboard. She’s pressing every key and every button but one clearly isn’t working properly. She’s pressing it and pressing it.
Fantasia Cosmica: You’re such an oinkin.
Galaxy Girl: Guys, guys, I’M IN THE ROOM!
Fantasia Cosmica: A room no one invited you in.
Johnny Rocket: Exactly. I didn’t hear you knocking either.
Fantasia Cosmica: Weren’t you asleep?
Johnny Rocket (visualizing with his hands): No, no, it was eight boobs….
Fantasia Cosmica (smacks him on the back of his head): JOHNNY!
Galaxy Girl finally takes her fist and slams it down. This causes the screen to hum alive. A few more buttons and she brings a futuristic display showcasing the schematics of the starship’s engine. There’s a giant red “X” over a particular part. Johnny nurses the back of his head.
Galaxy Girl: Okay, okay, okay. Listen. I tried everything we had on the ship. EVERYTHING. Even the mystery meat Silver Hawk left in the freezer. Which….I hope your family doesn’t mind the big garbage day they have ahead of them.
Johnny Rocket: I’ll just vaporize it with my blaster before we leave.
Fantasia Cosmica: If we ever get to leave. We’ve been stuck here for weeks, Johnny, WEEKS! And no offense, but the gravity here is pretty heavy.
Johnny Rocket (winks:) Yeah it is.
Fantasia threatens to hit him again, which causes Johnny to leap out of his seat to avoid it.
Galaxy Girl: GUYS. LISTEN. We can leave as soon as next Friday. After scanning the planet, I discovered the one source of power which can give us the juice to leave. Only? Heh. There’s a problem.
Fantasia Cosmica: There’s always a problem.
Galaxy Girl: If it was easy, I’d do it myself.
Johnny Rocket: What do you mean?
Galaxy Girl fires up a video on screen. It’s a montage of Lance Marshall lariating the hell out of his opponents. One after one. Wrestler after wrestler. After each victory, he holds up a Big Gold Buckle which Galaxy Girl freezes the frame on.
Johnny Rocket (serious tone, he’d squeeze a Dixie cup if he had one): Lance Marshall.
Galaxy Girl: Exactly. The Big Gold Buckle is the mightiest source of power on this space rock. Better than any fossil fuel, and no amount of recycling can help us. See? It’s made of a special alloy, Teximus Galacticus. Funnily enough, Earth used to be a goldmine of this stuff but now--
Johnny Rocket: So I have to fight Lance Marshall.
Fantasia Cosmica gets up and starts massaging his shoulders. Last time Rocket and Marshall faced off, it didn’t bode so well for the Star Fleet captain. It took some serious time to recover.
Galaxy Girl: Unfortunately. We’re honestly lucky you were born in Texas, Johnny. Only Texans are allowed to challenge for it.
Johnny Rocket: Life’s one cruel, intergalactic joke.
Fantasia Cosmica: You don’t have to fight him, Spaceboy. I’m sure Galaxy Girl can find another source to help our---
Galaxy Girl: Weren’t you listening? This is the ONLY source of power that can help us!
Fantasia Cosmica: You know what, Johnny? I was lying earlier. I love the gravity here. Texas is hot! Humid. There’s giant bugs. Tornados…I mean, uh, cowboy hats are cool? How about dem Cowboys? That’s what you Earthlings say, right?
Johnny Rocket: I’ll do it. I got this, okay? Lance Marshall may have my number, but he won’t beat me again. We’ll meet up with Silver Hawk. We’ll help him with his mission. We’ll go on adventures and save the galaxy again. I just….I just have to beat Lance Marshall.
Standing proud, he adjusts his goggles and puts on a heroic pose.
Johnny Rocket: I mean, I have to win against him sometime, right?
Fantasia Cosmica: That’s the spirit….?
Galaxy Girl: Tell you what? I’ll spruce up your battle armor so you won’t get as hurt.
Johnny Rocket: Add some extra cushion around my neck. That Cattle Drive is no joke.
Fantasia Cosmica: Maybe you should learn to duck a lariat too….
Johnny Rocket: HE HAS BIG MEATY ARMS, OKAY?
And just like that, our space heroes gather together and come up with a plan to take out Lance Marshall, take his Big Gold Buckle and use it to power up their starship. Will it work, or will they be stranded in Texas forever?
Fantasia Cosmica: Johnny….Johnny….
With his feet crossed on the control console, Johnny Rocket loudly bellows a snore. Cosmica raises her hand, looking as if she’s ready to smack him on the tip of his nose.
Fantasia Cosmica: Johnny.
His seat is adjusted all the way back while his goggles are set in ‘Sleep’ mode, masterfully blocking any form of light from his line of vision. Another expert invention by the crew’s technician, Galaxy Girl. However? Now wasn’t the time for sleep, not with an aggravated Fantasia Cosmica acting as co-pilot. Her arm flexes, every muscle surging with the intent to pulverize Star Fleet’s captain.
Fantasia Cosmica: Johnny, if you don’t get up right now I swea--
Galaxy Girl: I FIGURED IT OUT! I FIGURED IT OUT! I FIGURED IT OUT!
Racing into the cockpit, Galaxy Girl is all smiles as she bursts into the room. It’s like she’s been injected with pure, unfiltered adrenaline. She’s jumping up and down with half her face full of black smears. Immediately she shoves Johnny’s feet off the console, causing our fearless leader to finally wake up.
Johnny Rocket: Can’t your captain get any rest around here?
He complains, as if he didn’t just sleep for a full twelve-hours the day before. When in your hometown, it’s often normal to get extra hours of rest. At least, that’s what Johnny explained to Fantasia earlier.
Fantasia Cosmica: That woke you up?
He reaches for Cosmica’s face and squeezes her cheek.
Johnny Rocket: Would it make you feel better if I said I was dreaming of you--
Fantasia Cosmica: No.
Johnny Rocket: ….with six boobs?
Fantasia blushes, but vigorously shakes her head before swiping Johnny’s hand away. Meanwhile, we hear Galaxy Girl typing like a madwoman on the keyboard. She’s pressing every key and every button but one clearly isn’t working properly. She’s pressing it and pressing it.
Fantasia Cosmica: You’re such an oinkin.
Galaxy Girl: Guys, guys, I’M IN THE ROOM!
Fantasia Cosmica: A room no one invited you in.
Johnny Rocket: Exactly. I didn’t hear you knocking either.
Fantasia Cosmica: Weren’t you asleep?
Johnny Rocket (visualizing with his hands): No, no, it was eight boobs….
Fantasia Cosmica (smacks him on the back of his head): JOHNNY!
Galaxy Girl finally takes her fist and slams it down. This causes the screen to hum alive. A few more buttons and she brings a futuristic display showcasing the schematics of the starship’s engine. There’s a giant red “X” over a particular part. Johnny nurses the back of his head.
Galaxy Girl: Okay, okay, okay. Listen. I tried everything we had on the ship. EVERYTHING. Even the mystery meat Silver Hawk left in the freezer. Which….I hope your family doesn’t mind the big garbage day they have ahead of them.
Johnny Rocket: I’ll just vaporize it with my blaster before we leave.
Fantasia Cosmica: If we ever get to leave. We’ve been stuck here for weeks, Johnny, WEEKS! And no offense, but the gravity here is pretty heavy.
Johnny Rocket (winks:) Yeah it is.
Fantasia threatens to hit him again, which causes Johnny to leap out of his seat to avoid it.
Galaxy Girl: GUYS. LISTEN. We can leave as soon as next Friday. After scanning the planet, I discovered the one source of power which can give us the juice to leave. Only? Heh. There’s a problem.
Fantasia Cosmica: There’s always a problem.
Galaxy Girl: If it was easy, I’d do it myself.
Johnny Rocket: What do you mean?
Galaxy Girl fires up a video on screen. It’s a montage of Lance Marshall lariating the hell out of his opponents. One after one. Wrestler after wrestler. After each victory, he holds up a Big Gold Buckle which Galaxy Girl freezes the frame on.
Johnny Rocket (serious tone, he’d squeeze a Dixie cup if he had one): Lance Marshall.
Galaxy Girl: Exactly. The Big Gold Buckle is the mightiest source of power on this space rock. Better than any fossil fuel, and no amount of recycling can help us. See? It’s made of a special alloy, Teximus Galacticus. Funnily enough, Earth used to be a goldmine of this stuff but now--
Johnny Rocket: So I have to fight Lance Marshall.
Fantasia Cosmica gets up and starts massaging his shoulders. Last time Rocket and Marshall faced off, it didn’t bode so well for the Star Fleet captain. It took some serious time to recover.
Galaxy Girl: Unfortunately. We’re honestly lucky you were born in Texas, Johnny. Only Texans are allowed to challenge for it.
Johnny Rocket: Life’s one cruel, intergalactic joke.
Fantasia Cosmica: You don’t have to fight him, Spaceboy. I’m sure Galaxy Girl can find another source to help our---
Galaxy Girl: Weren’t you listening? This is the ONLY source of power that can help us!
Fantasia Cosmica: You know what, Johnny? I was lying earlier. I love the gravity here. Texas is hot! Humid. There’s giant bugs. Tornados…I mean, uh, cowboy hats are cool? How about dem Cowboys? That’s what you Earthlings say, right?
Johnny Rocket: I’ll do it. I got this, okay? Lance Marshall may have my number, but he won’t beat me again. We’ll meet up with Silver Hawk. We’ll help him with his mission. We’ll go on adventures and save the galaxy again. I just….I just have to beat Lance Marshall.
Standing proud, he adjusts his goggles and puts on a heroic pose.
Johnny Rocket: I mean, I have to win against him sometime, right?
Fantasia Cosmica: That’s the spirit….?
Galaxy Girl: Tell you what? I’ll spruce up your battle armor so you won’t get as hurt.
Johnny Rocket: Add some extra cushion around my neck. That Cattle Drive is no joke.
Fantasia Cosmica: Maybe you should learn to duck a lariat too….
Johnny Rocket: HE HAS BIG MEATY ARMS, OKAY?
And just like that, our space heroes gather together and come up with a plan to take out Lance Marshall, take his Big Gold Buckle and use it to power up their starship. Will it work, or will they be stranded in Texas forever?
